have me locked down here. That’s really great planning, brother. Really. I see why people call you the smart one.”
“Connection? You don’t have a connection to Gracen. Not a real one anyway.” Lucien scoffs. He crosses his ankles, and for a moment, I want to break them. When did I get so violent? Oh yeah…
“As much of one as anybody.”
“You tortured her for years.”
“I took care of her.” I yell. I don’t know why I feel it’s important for Lucien to get that through his thick skull, but I do. Maybe as much for him as for myself. “I took care of her, Lucien. Me. When her mother wanted to abort her, I talked her out of it. When Seth tried to kill her, I saved her.”
“Yeah, you’re a real hero.” I can hear Lucien roll his eyes. Hear it. He’s not even trying to hide his disdain for me.
Well… if we aren’t pretending anymore.
“What about you, Lucien?”
“Me?”
“Yeah, you. You were an angel. A soldier for God. Good and pure and all that crap, and you couldn’t save her. You were her guardian angel! You above all things in this world and the next should have been the one to protect her. And you failed. You didn’t kill Seth, and you didn’t save her.” I’m shaking. My insides feel like they are going to explode. I hate being chained down. Hate. It reminds me of…
I need out. Now.
I need away from my brother.
I need Gracen.
I need this conversation, this useless fight that will fix nothing, to end.
“You’re right.”
I stop pulling at my chains. I wasn’t expecting that.
“You’re right, Hart. It was my job to protect her. It was my one duty. I was supposed to save her by any means necessary. Seth doesn’t know this. Heck, Gracen doesn’t either, and I’m not surprised you don’t, but I wasn’t supposed to even let Gracen get as far along with you as she did. I was merciful because I couldn’t do what she wanted, and look where it got us! So, yeah, I guess all of this, as usual, is my fault, you big, self-centered jerk.” Lucien’s voice shook through his entire speech. I just stare at his feet. It’s all I can see of him. I don’t even know what to say. I want to say something all smart-ass back. There’s nothing to say.
“Oh, for the love of…” He moves the lamp over so he’s sitting in the dimmer portion. I appreciate it.
I can see him.
I wish I couldn’t.
My brother looks like my brother.
His blond hair is still curly.
His jaw is still set like it always was when he was cross with me.
Now, his shoulders are slumped, and he’s breathing hard.
He’s staring at me so hard I want to look away.
I can’t look away.
I deserve this.
“Wait… who told you to do what to Gracen?” Because that’s the important part of this conversation.
Lucien sits back and runs his fingers through his hair. His jaw clinches, and to me, it looks like he’s ready to throw something at a wall. Good for him. I’d love to too. Maybe one of Farmer Serial Killer’s torture instruments hanging from the ceiling. Oh look, a handsaw.
“Doesn’t matter.”
He did not just say that.
“Lucien! You ass! You brought it up, not me. Who told you to… what did they tell you to do? I’m…”
“A jerk.”
“Confused.” I correct him because he’s being, well, he’s being my brother. I slightly like it. I haven’t had anyone to bicker with in years. Gracen wasn’t as fun. She got mad, and I made her cry. Lucien doesn’t cry. He used to just hit me on the arm. He’ll probably just break my nose or something now. “I’m confused. What are you babbling about? Who wanted you to stop Gracen? It certainly wasn’t her father.”
Lucien leans back in the chair and rests his hands on his stomach. He looks like a man who’s so tired, who has lost so much. I can relate. I feel the exact same way, only I don’t have time to feel like that. I have to get Gracen back. I have to make Lucien let me go.
I have to care.
Of all the people in the world who have to
“Connection? You don’t have a connection to Gracen. Not a real one anyway.” Lucien scoffs. He crosses his ankles, and for a moment, I want to break them. When did I get so violent? Oh yeah…
“As much of one as anybody.”
“You tortured her for years.”
“I took care of her.” I yell. I don’t know why I feel it’s important for Lucien to get that through his thick skull, but I do. Maybe as much for him as for myself. “I took care of her, Lucien. Me. When her mother wanted to abort her, I talked her out of it. When Seth tried to kill her, I saved her.”
“Yeah, you’re a real hero.” I can hear Lucien roll his eyes. Hear it. He’s not even trying to hide his disdain for me.
Well… if we aren’t pretending anymore.
“What about you, Lucien?”
“Me?”
“Yeah, you. You were an angel. A soldier for God. Good and pure and all that crap, and you couldn’t save her. You were her guardian angel! You above all things in this world and the next should have been the one to protect her. And you failed. You didn’t kill Seth, and you didn’t save her.” I’m shaking. My insides feel like they are going to explode. I hate being chained down. Hate. It reminds me of…
I need out. Now.
I need away from my brother.
I need Gracen.
I need this conversation, this useless fight that will fix nothing, to end.
“You’re right.”
I stop pulling at my chains. I wasn’t expecting that.
“You’re right, Hart. It was my job to protect her. It was my one duty. I was supposed to save her by any means necessary. Seth doesn’t know this. Heck, Gracen doesn’t either, and I’m not surprised you don’t, but I wasn’t supposed to even let Gracen get as far along with you as she did. I was merciful because I couldn’t do what she wanted, and look where it got us! So, yeah, I guess all of this, as usual, is my fault, you big, self-centered jerk.” Lucien’s voice shook through his entire speech. I just stare at his feet. It’s all I can see of him. I don’t even know what to say. I want to say something all smart-ass back. There’s nothing to say.
“Oh, for the love of…” He moves the lamp over so he’s sitting in the dimmer portion. I appreciate it.
I can see him.
I wish I couldn’t.
My brother looks like my brother.
His blond hair is still curly.
His jaw is still set like it always was when he was cross with me.
Now, his shoulders are slumped, and he’s breathing hard.
He’s staring at me so hard I want to look away.
I can’t look away.
I deserve this.
“Wait… who told you to do what to Gracen?” Because that’s the important part of this conversation.
Lucien sits back and runs his fingers through his hair. His jaw clinches, and to me, it looks like he’s ready to throw something at a wall. Good for him. I’d love to too. Maybe one of Farmer Serial Killer’s torture instruments hanging from the ceiling. Oh look, a handsaw.
“Doesn’t matter.”
He did not just say that.
“Lucien! You ass! You brought it up, not me. Who told you to… what did they tell you to do? I’m…”
“A jerk.”
“Confused.” I correct him because he’s being, well, he’s being my brother. I slightly like it. I haven’t had anyone to bicker with in years. Gracen wasn’t as fun. She got mad, and I made her cry. Lucien doesn’t cry. He used to just hit me on the arm. He’ll probably just break my nose or something now. “I’m confused. What are you babbling about? Who wanted you to stop Gracen? It certainly wasn’t her father.”
Lucien leans back in the chair and rests his hands on his stomach. He looks like a man who’s so tired, who has lost so much. I can relate. I feel the exact same way, only I don’t have time to feel like that. I have to get Gracen back. I have to make Lucien let me go.
I have to care.
Of all the people in the world who have to
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