alcohol last night. My previous behaviour made me blush. I put my glass on the counter and placed my hands over his at my waist. I didn’t know how to react, I only knew that I didn’t want him to let go. My body relaxed and eased into his embrace.
‘ I woke up, and you were gone,’ he whispered in my ear.
‘ I woke up with you next to me. I don’t even remember going to bed.’
‘ I carried you.’
‘ You carried me?’
‘ Yes. I’m a bit insulted, actually. You fell asleep while I was telling a very fascinating story.’
He squeezed me tighter, and I tilted my head to give him easier access to my neck.
‘It couldn’t be that fascinating, if it made me fall asleep.’ I turned around and had to laugh when I saw his reaction.
‘ You bloody, little funny girl. I’ll get you for that!’
He started tickling me, and I tried to squirm away and hold of his hands. We were standing face to face wrestling when his expression changed and he kissed me on the mouth. It took me by a surprise, but it felt right. So I kissed him back. My hand moved behind his head, grasping his hair, pulling him closer. His hands were on my back, holding me to him. My heart was raising, and I felt the warmth spread all over my body. My robe opened, and my bra pushed against his naked chest. He gasped, and moved his head lower, and soon his lips were on my breast, nuzzling the skin that was showing. The heat in my body started centring, moving south. I could feel it pulsing. I tighten my grip on his hair and pushed him harder against my breast. My breathing got heavier.
‘ Oh!’ I exhaled as he hand reached my panties, and pushed against my crotch. I wanted him to rip them of.
But the sound of my voice seemed to awaken him. Suddenly he dropped his hands and stepped away from me. I didn’t understand why. He was breathing as heavily as I was. I could see his reaction were as strong as mine was. He drew his hand through his hair, agitated.
‘ Did I do something wrong?’ I asked.
‘ No, it’s me. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to… I don’t know what went in to me. It’s hard to control myself when I’m with you.’ He’d turn away from me now, leaning against the kitchen counter. His eyes were locked on the floor. I tried to get my breathing even, and closed my robe.
‘ I don’t understand.’ How could he just stop what he was doing?
‘ I didn’t mean to attack you like that. I know you think it’s too soon, and I don’t want to seduce you into something your not ready for.’ He looked at me now, and I could see pain or frustration in his face.
Too soon? I didn’t think it was too soon. I wanted him, now. He was irresistible. I felt a strong pull to be near him. But I couldn’t blame the alcohol this time. I was awake, sober, and should be able to have a clear mind. I should be able to be rational. I wasn’t. Every time he got near, I lost my self-control. I needed to get it back. I didn’t hesitate because I didn’t know him. I felt like I had known him my whole life. I hesitated because he had a wife. I didn’t want to be the other woman. I knew better than to screw a married man. I took a step away from him. I didn’t trust myself to be near him. My body was still in a firing heat. He was still looking at me. Like he was waiting for an answer. Maybe he wanted me to deny it, that I didn’t want to wait. I should tell him that it didn’t matter if we waited or not. It wasn’t right no matter what. I didn’t expect him to divorce his perfect wife just so he could get in bed with me, that was a terrible wishful-thinking. And I didn’t want to get hurt, either. I couldn’t imagining letting him in and then have him leave me. He was out of my league, and the sooner I realized that the better. I didn’t bother to respond to his comment, there weren’t any point in that.
I didn’t want to have this conversation. I changed the subject.
‘ Can I make you some coffee or tea?
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