Boy Crazy: Coming Out Erotica

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more when I looked up the meaning of the word “incubus.”
     
    I parked my bike near the public wharf in Prothro and went to look for Angus’s boat. I soon found it and him waiting beside it. Angus was dressed for the ocean at night. He wore faded jeans, a navy blue Peter Storm sweater, and a worn yellow rubber slicker jacket. He walked purposefully down the steep incline toward me, steady on his feet in spite of the swaying docks.
     
    “Hey, buddy,” Angus said, reaching for my shoulder and steadying me. “Where’s your sister? We were supposed to go out on the water.” He smiled uncertainly. “She’s not standing me up, is she?”
     
    “She asked me to tell you that she’s sorry, but she can’t come. She broke her leg.” It sounded like a lie, so I added, “Really. She was really looking forward to coming out with you tonight. She really likes you,” I said, my voice breaking. “A lot. She thinks about you all the time . She’s thought about you for years , even before she met you this summer. I think she’s in love with you.”
     
    Angus was quiet for a moment. The he sighed. “Loves me, huh? Ah, summer girls,” he said. He shrugged. “Oh, well. I might have seen this coming.”
     
    “Don’t you believe me? I’m telling the truth.”
     
    He shrugged again. “Sure, buddy. I believe you. But the boat’s all ready and it’s a nice night.” He shrugged again. Then he said, “Do you want to go out? I’m going out anyway. Least I can do after you came out all this way to deliver the message, personal like. We’ll be back in an hour or so. Before you’re missed, I promise.”
     
    “Sure,” I breathed. “Yes, I mean, I’d like that. Thanks.”
     
    We walked to the stern. He stepped lightly up onto the swim grid and extended a strong arm. I took it, awkwardly. We were suddenly inches apart on a piece of slatted wood over the water. He led me into the cockpit and started the engine. Suddenly the floor was shaking. I jumped, and Angus laughed.
     
    “Can I help?” I asked, hoping he’d say no.
     
    “Nah, just sit here on this locker beside me and watch.” He walked to the window, and with one arm flipped himself out and onto the dock where he untied some lines. Another swing, he was back inside. He stuck his head out the window on either side to check for room, and the boat began to move out into the water toward the end of the docks. Small waves hit the hull, and it rocked, churning a furious wake. We passed a green buoy in the harbor. The sky was streaked with broad bands of yellow, orange, peach, and blue. Behind us, Prothro harbor grew smaller and indistinct.
     
    “We’re at sea, buddy,” Angus said. “Come here and take the wheel. You won’t wreck anything, I promise.”
     
     
    “It was you, wasn’t it?” Angus said. He was watching me as he spoke. He’d cut the motor, and the boat swayed beneath us. The sun had begun the most dramatic part of its descent, and the sky was now silver-blue and fiery orange against the horizon. Sitting on the deck, Angus had offered me a beer, which I’d declined. He had opened one for himself. “That day, the summer I was fifteen? You were watching me and that girl? I saw you. Do you remember?”
     
    “I don’t know what you mean,” I said. “I mean, why would you think that I—”
     
    “Prothro is a small town. You summer guys think we don’t know you, but we do. We may be townies, but we’re here all the time, and we know when the summer folk arrive, and who they are. I asked around. Was it you? I’m thinkin’ it was.”
     
    I couldn’t speak at first. Then I said, in a small voice, “Yes, it was me.”
     
    “You liked watching me with that girl.”
     
    “Yes,” I whispered. “I liked watching it. I liked watching you.”
     
    He took another pull on his beer. “Is it true what your sister said? That you don’t like girls?”
     
    “My sister says mean things about me sometimes. It’s just her way. She

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