over it. The shirt had belonged to Rex, her former husband. An unsettling choice, but Jacob understood that as well. Another reminder of what she had to become again, from a time when she’d had to be more guarded than she’d ever been, her emotions locked behind a fortress to protect what she held dear.
In the kitchen with Ingram, he’d seen the sharp, calculating intelligence she’d always possessed. But he also had a window to the scars that had lingered inside her from the events of the past couple of years, things those white knuckles on the table had betrayed.
When he’d met her, his lady’s confidence had been unshakable. Even now, he’d put his money on her against the intelligence or brutality of most opponents. However, something had shifted. She was more unsure of herself, afraid of the consequences of her actions. Her irritation with that, with her inability to overcome two years’ worth of traumatic events to reclaim that steady core of certainty, was severe. She viewed it as a liability to her, to him and to their son. It made her savagely angry with herself. So when it became unbearable, she paced, hoping to find what he knew only time and other, as yet unknowable factors, could bring back to her.
What he could give her was his unshakable faith that it would happen. His confidence could be hers.
Feeling her frustration getting beyond what he could bear to let her handle alone, he moved into the garden, came to her. As he sank to his heels, he slid his arms around her, and was glad when she laid her head on his biceps, though her hands stayed compressed in her lap. “I hate this shirt,” he said.
Nudging her head to the side, he gave her the sharp edge of his fangs, underscoring how fervently he felt about it. She shivered in his arms, a sweet coil of desire moving through her. She wasn’t wearing a bra beneath the loose shirt and he cupped her breasts, the peaks pressing into his palms. “I’m going to make it disappear one day, I swear to God.”
“You’d never destroy it.” She drew in a breath as he punctured her skin, drawing out a sweet, small drop of blood, teasing the artery with his tongue.
“You understand too well why I keep it.”
“I wish there was no reason for you to keep it.” She was silent at that, and he changed tactics. He hummed against her skin, until her shoulders relaxed somewhat. “What is that?” she asked.
“‘Stand by Me,’ by Ben E. King. Surely you’ve heard it.” He told her the words, spoke the opening lyrics. How he’d stand by her when the night came, when all was dark. Her lips curved.
“Actually, since you’re a vampire, it would
have
to be dark. So I am not overly impressed.” He chuckled, pressed a kiss to her temple. “If the world crumbles, I'll be here, my lady.”
“I know.” She hooked her hands over his forearm.
“Would Keldwyn lie about the time distortion?”
“According to lore, the Fae don’t lie. They’re master word manipulators. Either way, we’re faced with an impossible choice, just as you said.” She sighed. “It begins again, Jacob. We must be queen and servant once more.”
“Yes, my lady. Though you are always my Mistress. That never changes. Only the face of it does.”
He knew something else about her that no one else did, except perhaps Mason. A thousand years gave her great wisdom, great strength. But it was also a long, long time to live. A long, long time to be a queen and endure loss and betrayal, to see death and hate resurrecting in her life, challenging her over and over again. Thomas, her former servant, believed Jacob had come to her in three different lifetimes, whenever she was in greatest need of him.
There were times Jacob thought the Delilah virus she’d barely survived had only been the catalyst of that rebirth, that the true danger to her was the unbearable weight of time.
Other than the Delilah virus, the Ennui, a wasting and self-destructive apathy, was the only disease that
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