Read Online Borders of the Heart by Chris Fabry - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Chris Fabry
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the highway. A hunter, in control.
He would wait until the girl and her friend stopped, wait until they landed, like flies, and then he would strike. Hard. Catch them unaware, finish the chapter, and move to the next.
9
SMALL DECISIONS LEAD TO BIG ONES. That’s what J. D.’s father had always said. Integrity comes in inches, not miles, and is built over time. Brick by brick, day by day, one decision after another. The mortar holding it all together is truth and love for your fellow man. If you care for others more than you care for yourself, you’re on the right track.
These were J. D.’s thoughts as he drove, reflections of his life, words from his father that sounded good growing up, things J. D. had seen at work every day. Integrity was cumulative, compounding like interest on a debt, growing in the heart and mind as his father said. He had tried to live by the rule, but at some point another equation took over, almost the converse of the postulate: It only takes one decision to begin unraveling the cord. One misstep can lead from integrity to devastation and encompass everyone in a man’s path.
There had been a series of arguments, of fallings-out between J. D. and his father. The two were as different as night and day, and his mother struggled to become both dusk and sunrise to bring them together. His brother, Tyler, had been the uninterested bystander.
In spite of his desire to live as an island, wanting his choices to affect only himself, J. D. knew he was connected. The ripples of his life touched the beachheads and inlets of a thousand hearts. Just like his father’s life. The one he had not measured up to. And he was beginning to understand he never would. He would never be the man he wanted to be, the man his father wanted. Life didn’t allow that now.
But he had also seen through his father’s facade. The parent who said he only wanted the best for his son had shown he simply wanted a problem-free, worry-free retirement without encumbrances. The man’s own cord had unraveled, and J. D. saw the spiraling free fall of his father’s life with all the feathers and the hard pavement underneath. J. D.’s choices had revealed these hidden cracks and fissures. He hadn’t seen it when he was younger, when he was reaching for the top, striving for success, but now that he was at the bottom he could. And that was a gift—one he would never have put on a list, but there it was.
He drove in the noisy silence of the Suburban toward the city. Even with the windows up, there was a whistling of wind through the sunburnt window molding. The air conditioner had desperately needed recharging ten years earlier. He was sweating in places he didn’t know he had. But going toward people instead of away from them seemed right. Hide in the middle of the crowd rather than behind a saguaro. There wereproblems with that plan, but it was the best he could come up with under the circumstances.
Still on I-19, his cell rang and he answered.
It was Win. “Did you find her, J. D.?”
“I did, but there’s a long story behind the finding I’m not ready to tell.”
“Where you at?”
“Can’t tell you that either, compadre. Probably better you don’t know. But I’m going to have to borrow your vehicle. You okay with that?”
“Sounds like you’re already on your way and it doesn’t matter if I’m okay with it.”
“You’re probably right.”
“How far you going?”
“Can’t say. Just need to get out of town.”
“Are you in trouble, J. D.?”
“It appears so. Feels like I’m coasting toward trouble downhill with the engine in neutral.”
“And you have bald tires and wheels out of alignment. I know the feeling.”
“Well, it’ll work out.” He said it with a measure of dread.
“Yes. But . . . I’m concerned.”
“I know how to take care of myself, Win.”
“All right. Just know that’s a farm truck. It’s not meant for the open road. I drive it around here but there’s
He would wait until the girl and her friend stopped, wait until they landed, like flies, and then he would strike. Hard. Catch them unaware, finish the chapter, and move to the next.
9
SMALL DECISIONS LEAD TO BIG ONES. That’s what J. D.’s father had always said. Integrity comes in inches, not miles, and is built over time. Brick by brick, day by day, one decision after another. The mortar holding it all together is truth and love for your fellow man. If you care for others more than you care for yourself, you’re on the right track.
These were J. D.’s thoughts as he drove, reflections of his life, words from his father that sounded good growing up, things J. D. had seen at work every day. Integrity was cumulative, compounding like interest on a debt, growing in the heart and mind as his father said. He had tried to live by the rule, but at some point another equation took over, almost the converse of the postulate: It only takes one decision to begin unraveling the cord. One misstep can lead from integrity to devastation and encompass everyone in a man’s path.
There had been a series of arguments, of fallings-out between J. D. and his father. The two were as different as night and day, and his mother struggled to become both dusk and sunrise to bring them together. His brother, Tyler, had been the uninterested bystander.
In spite of his desire to live as an island, wanting his choices to affect only himself, J. D. knew he was connected. The ripples of his life touched the beachheads and inlets of a thousand hearts. Just like his father’s life. The one he had not measured up to. And he was beginning to understand he never would. He would never be the man he wanted to be, the man his father wanted. Life didn’t allow that now.
But he had also seen through his father’s facade. The parent who said he only wanted the best for his son had shown he simply wanted a problem-free, worry-free retirement without encumbrances. The man’s own cord had unraveled, and J. D. saw the spiraling free fall of his father’s life with all the feathers and the hard pavement underneath. J. D.’s choices had revealed these hidden cracks and fissures. He hadn’t seen it when he was younger, when he was reaching for the top, striving for success, but now that he was at the bottom he could. And that was a gift—one he would never have put on a list, but there it was.
He drove in the noisy silence of the Suburban toward the city. Even with the windows up, there was a whistling of wind through the sunburnt window molding. The air conditioner had desperately needed recharging ten years earlier. He was sweating in places he didn’t know he had. But going toward people instead of away from them seemed right. Hide in the middle of the crowd rather than behind a saguaro. There wereproblems with that plan, but it was the best he could come up with under the circumstances.
Still on I-19, his cell rang and he answered.
It was Win. “Did you find her, J. D.?”
“I did, but there’s a long story behind the finding I’m not ready to tell.”
“Where you at?”
“Can’t tell you that either, compadre. Probably better you don’t know. But I’m going to have to borrow your vehicle. You okay with that?”
“Sounds like you’re already on your way and it doesn’t matter if I’m okay with it.”
“You’re probably right.”
“How far you going?”
“Can’t say. Just need to get out of town.”
“Are you in trouble, J. D.?”
“It appears so. Feels like I’m coasting toward trouble downhill with the engine in neutral.”
“And you have bald tires and wheels out of alignment. I know the feeling.”
“Well, it’ll work out.” He said it with a measure of dread.
“Yes. But . . . I’m concerned.”
“I know how to take care of myself, Win.”
“All right. Just know that’s a farm truck. It’s not meant for the open road. I drive it around here but there’s
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