to quickly cease their conversation. Hannah wondered how much longer she could pretend. Yesterday afternoon she had called Doctor Jenkins. She'd been going crazy and she knew she needed help. She'd made an appointment and asked him if there was anything she could do in the meantime. "Keep to your routine," had been his sage advice, so she had kept this engagement even though it was the last thing she wanted to do.
She only played twice a year when the Junior League held its tournament. Hannah wondered why she should be worried about questions right now when the ship was going down with all hands, but she felt she had to trust the psychiatrist somewhat. He was a professional after all.
Now, after six holes of questioning looks and catching bits of their muttered confabs behind the carts whenever she putted, she decided that other's advice should be given less consideration than her own instincts.
Amelia and Rita climbed into their cart without a backward glance and that left Hannah with Sara who had been probing Hannah at every opportunity. Sara had displayed enough disbelief when Hannah mentioned that John was on a business trip to alert her that the cover story was wearing thin. People were whispering and Hannah had lived in Cedar Creek long enough to know how quickly the winds of gossip fanned a rumored whisper into a bonfire of truth. She had been hoping to keep things quiet until she had a plan, but that option was fading fast. She wished she had known this before driving to the Country Club. She could have saved the money on the cart.
The change was coming, Hannah could feel it. The gulf separating her from the other women was opening at her feet and they were on the other side. They had been acquaintances for years, going to each other’s parties, listening to troubles, dishing out sympathy and compliments with equal abandon.
Hannah slid into the passenger side of the cart and glanced at her partner. Sara was a lovely woman who lived her life as if there was going to be a quiz at the end. She was always asking questions. Her current silence meant that she'd gleaned enough information to have answered all the necessary questions and graded the test. Hannah knew she'd failed. She was no longer a player in Sara's eyes. She had lost her glove so nobody was going stand around and pitch to her any more. If only they knew the entire truth, Hannah thought.
Looking at the cart ahead of them, Hannah was more surprised by Amelia. Theirs was a relationship she had thought based on a little bit more than my wife-life is better than your wife-life. Today, Amelia acted as if she were disappointed in Hannah. She had the perturbed look of a woman whose guest list has just dropped to an odd number. Amelia had her head bowed toward Rita as their cart sailed along the smooth expanse of concrete that slithered the course like some obscene tapeworm. Hannah wondered what the two were saying now.
They were both married to doctors, or as they said: physicians. Left alone so much by the almighty beeper they had naturally gravitated together. Their empty hours were spent sucking each other in with a ferociousness that left them both overwhelmed but justified. They had seven children between them and were always on the verge of a teenage, teething, bedwetting crisis. In that particular area, Hannah had been an outsider so she had never really fit in.
Sara finally broke the silence and was starting to talk in general terms about the museum fundraiser. With a start, Hannah realized her friend's real unspoken quandary: What to do about the fundraiser? Was it appropriate to leave Hannah in the position of chairing the publicity committee or should they replace her? If they replaced her, how would she respond? If they didn't, how would the thing turn out? If Hannah went by herself would their husbands ask her to dance?
Hannah could have walked away right then and there. Maybe she should tell them she didn't have the money for a ticket. Waking
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