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Book: Body Language: How to Read Others' Thoughts by Their Gestures by Allan Pease
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Authors: Allan Pease
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probably assumed that a potential employer in another country would not bother to check overseas references and, had I not been aware of non-verbal cues and signals, I might well have made the mistake of hiring him.
During a videotape role play of an interview scene at a management seminar, the interviewee suddenly covered his mouth and rubbed his nose after he had been asked a question by the interviewer. Up to that point in the role-play, the interviewee had kept an open posture with open coat, palms visible and leaning forward when answering questions, so at first we thought it might have been an isolated series of gestures. He displayed the mouth guard gesture for several seconds before giving his answer, then returned to his open pose. We questioned him about the hand-to-mouth gesture at the end of the role play and he said that, when he had been asked the particular question, he could have responded in two ways; one negative, one positive. As he thought about the negative answer and of how the interviewer might react to it, the mouth guard gesture occurred. When he thought of the positive answer, however, his hand dropped away from his mouth and he resumed his open posture. His uncertainty about the audience’s possible reaction to the negative reply had caused the sudden mouth guard gesture to occur.
These examples illustrate how easy it can be to misinterpret a hand-to-face gesture and to jump to wrong conclusions. It is only by constant study and observation of these gestures and by having regard to the context in which they occur that one can eventually learn to reach an accurate assessment of someone’s thoughts.
CHEEK AND CHIN GESTURES
A good speaker is said to be one who ‘instinctively’ knows when his audience is interested in what he says and when his hearers have had enough. A good sales person senses when he is hitting his client’s ‘hot buttons’, that is, finding out where the buyer’s interest lies. Every sales person knows the empty feeling that results when he or she is giving a sales presentation to a potential buyer who says very little and just sits there watching. Fortunately a number of hand-to-cheek and hand-to-chin gestures can tell the sales person how well he is doing.
Boredom
When the listener begins to use his hand to support his head, it is a signal that boredom has set in and his supporting hand is an attempt to hold his head up to stop himself from falling asleep. The degree of the listener’s boredom is related to the extent to which his arm and hand are supporting his head. Extreme boredom and lack of interest are shown when the head is fully supported by the hand (Figure 61) and the ultimate boredom signal occurs when the head is on the desk or table and the person is snoring!
Drumming the fingers on the table and continual tapping of the feet on the floor are often misinterpreted by professional speakers as boredom signals, but in fact they signal impatience. When you as a speaker notice these signals, a strategic move must be made to get the finger drummer or foot tapper involved in your lecture, thus avoiding his negative effect on the other members of the audience. The audience who displays boredom and impatience signals together is telling the speaker that it is time for him to end the speech. It is worth noting that the speed of the finger tap or foot tap is related to the extent of the person’s impatience – the faster the taps, the more impatient the listener is becoming.
Evaluation
Evaluation is shown by a closed hand resting on the cheek, often with the index finger pointing upwards (Figure 62). Should the person begin to lose interest but wish to appear interested, for courtesy’s sake, the position will alter slightly so that the heel of the palm supports the head, as shown in Figure 61. I have attended numerous management meetings where the young up-andcoming managers have used this interest gesture to show respect to the company
During a videotape role play of an interview scene at a management seminar, the interviewee suddenly covered his mouth and rubbed his nose after he had been asked a question by the interviewer. Up to that point in the role-play, the interviewee had kept an open posture with open coat, palms visible and leaning forward when answering questions, so at first we thought it might have been an isolated series of gestures. He displayed the mouth guard gesture for several seconds before giving his answer, then returned to his open pose. We questioned him about the hand-to-mouth gesture at the end of the role play and he said that, when he had been asked the particular question, he could have responded in two ways; one negative, one positive. As he thought about the negative answer and of how the interviewer might react to it, the mouth guard gesture occurred. When he thought of the positive answer, however, his hand dropped away from his mouth and he resumed his open posture. His uncertainty about the audience’s possible reaction to the negative reply had caused the sudden mouth guard gesture to occur.
These examples illustrate how easy it can be to misinterpret a hand-to-face gesture and to jump to wrong conclusions. It is only by constant study and observation of these gestures and by having regard to the context in which they occur that one can eventually learn to reach an accurate assessment of someone’s thoughts.
CHEEK AND CHIN GESTURES
A good speaker is said to be one who ‘instinctively’ knows when his audience is interested in what he says and when his hearers have had enough. A good sales person senses when he is hitting his client’s ‘hot buttons’, that is, finding out where the buyer’s interest lies. Every sales person knows the empty feeling that results when he or she is giving a sales presentation to a potential buyer who says very little and just sits there watching. Fortunately a number of hand-to-cheek and hand-to-chin gestures can tell the sales person how well he is doing.
Boredom
When the listener begins to use his hand to support his head, it is a signal that boredom has set in and his supporting hand is an attempt to hold his head up to stop himself from falling asleep. The degree of the listener’s boredom is related to the extent to which his arm and hand are supporting his head. Extreme boredom and lack of interest are shown when the head is fully supported by the hand (Figure 61) and the ultimate boredom signal occurs when the head is on the desk or table and the person is snoring!
Drumming the fingers on the table and continual tapping of the feet on the floor are often misinterpreted by professional speakers as boredom signals, but in fact they signal impatience. When you as a speaker notice these signals, a strategic move must be made to get the finger drummer or foot tapper involved in your lecture, thus avoiding his negative effect on the other members of the audience. The audience who displays boredom and impatience signals together is telling the speaker that it is time for him to end the speech. It is worth noting that the speed of the finger tap or foot tap is related to the extent of the person’s impatience – the faster the taps, the more impatient the listener is becoming.
Evaluation
Evaluation is shown by a closed hand resting on the cheek, often with the index finger pointing upwards (Figure 62). Should the person begin to lose interest but wish to appear interested, for courtesy’s sake, the position will alter slightly so that the heel of the palm supports the head, as shown in Figure 61. I have attended numerous management meetings where the young up-andcoming managers have used this interest gesture to show respect to the company
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