really you.” He staggered towards me before dropping to his knees. “You’re back.”
Something inside of my body cracked open at the sight of Cade – something warm and ticklish and it spread through my stomach.
Pulling the shower curtain back the rest of the way, I knelt facing the boy whose face and heart had kept me alive for the past few years.
“Cade.” I tested his name on my lips. It felt good. Cade’s blue eyes seared me. “Cade.”
He looked so hard at me I was sure he could see inside of my head – inside of my rotten soul.
“I’m so sorry, Kenzie,” he said and his voice was a broken whisper. “What happened to you—” he paused and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I should have protected you. I should have saved you – stopped those guys.”
“We were children, Cade,” I croaked out, suddenly overwhelmed with emotion. “You couldn’t fight off ten fully-grown men.” Had he blamed himself all these years? He had to know it wasn’t his fault …
Shaking his head furiously, Cade staggered into the shower before pulling me into his arms. “Three-and-a-half years, Kenzie,” Cade groaned. “They took you away from me for three-and-a-half goddamn years.”
At first I stiffened, but my body slowly relaxed and when I rested my cheek against the warm skin of his bare chest, I allowed my eyelids to flutter shut.
“I missed you,” I whispered, allowing myself to feel this: enjoy being in his arms again.
“I thought about you every damn day,” he told me, before dropping a kiss to my drenched hair. “Not a day went by when I didn’t pray for you – or dream about you.”
Water was cascading down on both of us and I felt better than I had in years. “I missed you so bad, Cade,” I choked out as tears filled my eyes. “So bad … I needed you …”
Suddenly Cade jerked away from me, staggering backwards and out of the shower. His eyes were wide as if he had just figured something out. “Jesus, what the hell am I doing – you’re naked!”
So that was what he had just figured out.
“You shouldn’t feel embarrassed,” I told him, climbing to my feet. “A thousand others have seen this …”
Cade was afraid of scaring me, but the only thing that I was frightened of was never feeling Cade’s touch again.
“ What the hell is that ?” Cade pointed at my bare hipbone. “Kenzie.” His tone was gruff, angry even, as he stepped closer. He trailed his fingertips over my hipbone. “How did you get this?”
“That’s my mark,” I explained, not taking my eyes off his face. For some reason, he looked upset and, for an even sicker reason, I felt happy because of this.
“My barcode.”
His face paled. “Your barcode?”
“Yes. In the nest our masters assigned each of us with a mark. We all had an individual marks. It proved our value – and our ownership.”
Cade groaned and rubbed his face with his hand as if in pain.
In two long strides he was back in the shower and pulling me into his arms. It was like he couldn’t decide what to do with me.
“What did those men do to you,” he whispered.
They taught me how to fuck, Cade. And they taught me to say yes to anything physical no matter how degrading or emotionally devastating it was to me. “Whatever they wanted to do.”
Cade held my face between his hands and stared into my eyes. “Did they …” His breath hitched and he groaned and pressed a kiss to my forehead before closing his eyes and resting his head against mine. “Did those men rape you, Kenzie?”
“Yes.” But I learned how to separate my mind from my body and after a while I began to cope with it – enjoy it even. “All of them and more.” And when those men fucked me, I used to pretend it was you. “I’m sorry, Cade.”
“What are you sorry for?” Cade shook his head and stared at me like I’d grown an extra head.
What could I say? I couldn’t tell him that I didn’t fight back. I couldn’t tell him that there were moments
Something inside of my body cracked open at the sight of Cade – something warm and ticklish and it spread through my stomach.
Pulling the shower curtain back the rest of the way, I knelt facing the boy whose face and heart had kept me alive for the past few years.
“Cade.” I tested his name on my lips. It felt good. Cade’s blue eyes seared me. “Cade.”
He looked so hard at me I was sure he could see inside of my head – inside of my rotten soul.
“I’m so sorry, Kenzie,” he said and his voice was a broken whisper. “What happened to you—” he paused and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I should have protected you. I should have saved you – stopped those guys.”
“We were children, Cade,” I croaked out, suddenly overwhelmed with emotion. “You couldn’t fight off ten fully-grown men.” Had he blamed himself all these years? He had to know it wasn’t his fault …
Shaking his head furiously, Cade staggered into the shower before pulling me into his arms. “Three-and-a-half years, Kenzie,” Cade groaned. “They took you away from me for three-and-a-half goddamn years.”
At first I stiffened, but my body slowly relaxed and when I rested my cheek against the warm skin of his bare chest, I allowed my eyelids to flutter shut.
“I missed you,” I whispered, allowing myself to feel this: enjoy being in his arms again.
“I thought about you every damn day,” he told me, before dropping a kiss to my drenched hair. “Not a day went by when I didn’t pray for you – or dream about you.”
Water was cascading down on both of us and I felt better than I had in years. “I missed you so bad, Cade,” I choked out as tears filled my eyes. “So bad … I needed you …”
Suddenly Cade jerked away from me, staggering backwards and out of the shower. His eyes were wide as if he had just figured something out. “Jesus, what the hell am I doing – you’re naked!”
So that was what he had just figured out.
“You shouldn’t feel embarrassed,” I told him, climbing to my feet. “A thousand others have seen this …”
Cade was afraid of scaring me, but the only thing that I was frightened of was never feeling Cade’s touch again.
“ What the hell is that ?” Cade pointed at my bare hipbone. “Kenzie.” His tone was gruff, angry even, as he stepped closer. He trailed his fingertips over my hipbone. “How did you get this?”
“That’s my mark,” I explained, not taking my eyes off his face. For some reason, he looked upset and, for an even sicker reason, I felt happy because of this.
“My barcode.”
His face paled. “Your barcode?”
“Yes. In the nest our masters assigned each of us with a mark. We all had an individual marks. It proved our value – and our ownership.”
Cade groaned and rubbed his face with his hand as if in pain.
In two long strides he was back in the shower and pulling me into his arms. It was like he couldn’t decide what to do with me.
“What did those men do to you,” he whispered.
They taught me how to fuck, Cade. And they taught me to say yes to anything physical no matter how degrading or emotionally devastating it was to me. “Whatever they wanted to do.”
Cade held my face between his hands and stared into my eyes. “Did they …” His breath hitched and he groaned and pressed a kiss to my forehead before closing his eyes and resting his head against mine. “Did those men rape you, Kenzie?”
“Yes.” But I learned how to separate my mind from my body and after a while I began to cope with it – enjoy it even. “All of them and more.” And when those men fucked me, I used to pretend it was you. “I’m sorry, Cade.”
“What are you sorry for?” Cade shook his head and stared at me like I’d grown an extra head.
What could I say? I couldn’t tell him that I didn’t fight back. I couldn’t tell him that there were moments
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