Read Online Blaze (Blaze #1) by Erika Chase - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Erika Chase
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you’re
doing?”
“Yeah, and—”
“No, no, no. Let’s deal with one problem at
a time.” Nat rolls her eyes and does air quotes when she says the
word problem.
I tip my wine glass in her direction in
surrender.
“Well, did I leave anything out?” she
asks.
“Only the part where I’m starting to suspect
the only reason I was noticed for the job was because everyone
thought I was sleeping with Gabriel—”
“You are sleeping with Gabriel.”
I wave my hand dismissively. “—And I know I
did a good job with Noah, but at the end of the day, Gabriel did it
better. Not because he cares about me but as some unnecessary
cockblock. Apparently I’m good enough for right now, not
forever.”
Nat’s eyes go wide.
“Fuck the job talk. What do you mean
forever? Have you… you love him!”
I snort.
“I do not.”
“Don’t do this.”
“Do what?” I ask. I finish the rest of the
wine in my glass in one gulp.
“Fuck it up for the rest of us independent
women who can handle a casual, sexual relationship with a sexy
millionaire.”
“I can handle it.” I’m getting irritated
despite my buzz.
“Handling it looks a lot like falling in
love, which is fine because you know what?” Nat rests a hand my
knee and gives it a squeeze. “You deserve that. But if Gabriel Call
is going to leave you heartbroken, it’s probably better to end it
now.”
End it now. Could I do that?
“But I like…” I stop. What do I like about
him?
“You like fucking him? Of course you
do.”
One of my roommates, Sarah, enters the
living room just at that moment. Without batting an eye she asks,
“Who does Kate like fucking?”
“No one,” I say quickly, and jerk my leg to
jostle Nat.
Sarah shakes her head and shrugs into a
jacket over her blue scrubs. “I’m covering someone else’s ER shift
tomorrow afternoon so I’ll most likely sleep at the hospital. Good
seeing you again, Nat. Kate, good luck liking fucking no one.”
She grabs her keys off a small table by the
front door and then she’s gone.
“Thanks a lot, Nat.”
“What? Sarah’s cool. I was half kidding
before. You like having sex with him, but there’s more to it,
right?”
I nod slowly and look down at my hands,
embarrassed.
“I know I make it sound like he’s always…
intense. Serious. But sometimes he can be funny. And it’s always so
random. And he’s generous. He’s on the board of like, three
different charities. He doesn’t always show me those sides of him.
I wish that it was—”
“More than just sex?” She smiles
sympathetically.
“I want more.” The words tumble out before I
realize what they mean. I have to keep my promise.
I have to walk away.
CHAPTER TWENTY
The doorman with the white mustache is back
on duty that night. He tips his hat and gives me his usual friendly
smile as he sees me walking towards the doors.
“I’m the luckiest man on earth, seeing you
so often,” he says. He can’t know what I’m thinking, what I’m
feeling. But my stomach tightens like a fist at his words.
I plaster a fake smile on my face.
“I bet you say that to all the girls,” I
say, and he laughs knowingly as he lets me inside.
I let out a long, shuddering breath as the
elevator doors close behind me and the long ride up to Gabriel’s
suite begins.
I want so much to turn around and run back
home, to curl up in a little ball under my blankets and let someone
else make this decision for me. But the adult me, the responsible
me, knows that I have to go through with this.
If this is such a good decision, why do
the feelings suck so much? I wonder as I let myself into
Gabriel’s suite.
Then I see him, and for a moment I can’t
breathe.
He’s sitting by the window, a notebook in
his hand. He’s been writing, but for this moment he’s almost like a
photograph, calmly looking out over the city. There’s a cup of
coffee next to him, and I can smell the strong, sharp aroma from
clear across the room.
I’ve
doing?”
“Yeah, and—”
“No, no, no. Let’s deal with one problem at
a time.” Nat rolls her eyes and does air quotes when she says the
word problem.
I tip my wine glass in her direction in
surrender.
“Well, did I leave anything out?” she
asks.
“Only the part where I’m starting to suspect
the only reason I was noticed for the job was because everyone
thought I was sleeping with Gabriel—”
“You are sleeping with Gabriel.”
I wave my hand dismissively. “—And I know I
did a good job with Noah, but at the end of the day, Gabriel did it
better. Not because he cares about me but as some unnecessary
cockblock. Apparently I’m good enough for right now, not
forever.”
Nat’s eyes go wide.
“Fuck the job talk. What do you mean
forever? Have you… you love him!”
I snort.
“I do not.”
“Don’t do this.”
“Do what?” I ask. I finish the rest of the
wine in my glass in one gulp.
“Fuck it up for the rest of us independent
women who can handle a casual, sexual relationship with a sexy
millionaire.”
“I can handle it.” I’m getting irritated
despite my buzz.
“Handling it looks a lot like falling in
love, which is fine because you know what?” Nat rests a hand my
knee and gives it a squeeze. “You deserve that. But if Gabriel Call
is going to leave you heartbroken, it’s probably better to end it
now.”
End it now. Could I do that?
“But I like…” I stop. What do I like about
him?
“You like fucking him? Of course you
do.”
One of my roommates, Sarah, enters the
living room just at that moment. Without batting an eye she asks,
“Who does Kate like fucking?”
“No one,” I say quickly, and jerk my leg to
jostle Nat.
Sarah shakes her head and shrugs into a
jacket over her blue scrubs. “I’m covering someone else’s ER shift
tomorrow afternoon so I’ll most likely sleep at the hospital. Good
seeing you again, Nat. Kate, good luck liking fucking no one.”
She grabs her keys off a small table by the
front door and then she’s gone.
“Thanks a lot, Nat.”
“What? Sarah’s cool. I was half kidding
before. You like having sex with him, but there’s more to it,
right?”
I nod slowly and look down at my hands,
embarrassed.
“I know I make it sound like he’s always…
intense. Serious. But sometimes he can be funny. And it’s always so
random. And he’s generous. He’s on the board of like, three
different charities. He doesn’t always show me those sides of him.
I wish that it was—”
“More than just sex?” She smiles
sympathetically.
“I want more.” The words tumble out before I
realize what they mean. I have to keep my promise.
I have to walk away.
CHAPTER TWENTY
The doorman with the white mustache is back
on duty that night. He tips his hat and gives me his usual friendly
smile as he sees me walking towards the doors.
“I’m the luckiest man on earth, seeing you
so often,” he says. He can’t know what I’m thinking, what I’m
feeling. But my stomach tightens like a fist at his words.
I plaster a fake smile on my face.
“I bet you say that to all the girls,” I
say, and he laughs knowingly as he lets me inside.
I let out a long, shuddering breath as the
elevator doors close behind me and the long ride up to Gabriel’s
suite begins.
I want so much to turn around and run back
home, to curl up in a little ball under my blankets and let someone
else make this decision for me. But the adult me, the responsible
me, knows that I have to go through with this.
If this is such a good decision, why do
the feelings suck so much? I wonder as I let myself into
Gabriel’s suite.
Then I see him, and for a moment I can’t
breathe.
He’s sitting by the window, a notebook in
his hand. He’s been writing, but for this moment he’s almost like a
photograph, calmly looking out over the city. There’s a cup of
coffee next to him, and I can smell the strong, sharp aroma from
clear across the room.
I’ve
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