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Authors: Jim Dawson
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a whole new category in the Razzies.” The
Los Angeles Times
began its review of the film with, “Attention, Razzie voters!” (
Dirty Love
did win a buttful of Razzies earlier this year.) The award—a really cheap-looking, golf ball-sized raspberry on top of a mangled Super 8 film reel, whose gold veneer looks like it was spray-painted on at a skid row chop shop—has an estimated street value of $4.97. Besides Miss Berry, hardly ever do the winners show up, which goes to show you what a bunch of sore winners Hollywood’s A-listers really are. Or maybe they take it personally when the rabble makes farting noises at them.
HABIT-FORMING FRITTERS
A h, those French. Where else would a certain kind of dark brown cheese be called
crottin
—or horse turd?
But a more popular item is their
pet de nonne
, or nun’s fart—a dainty, sugar-dusted fried fritter. It’s also less commonly called a
soupir de nonne
(nun’s sigh) and a
pet de soeur
(sister’s fart).
The nun’s fart is related to the donut, whose origins go back to a Dutch pastry from the fifteenth century called an
olykoek
(oily cake), so named because it was cooked in oil. According to legend, a nun living in the abbey of Marmoutier (wherever that is) was preparing food for a religious feast when she let a fart slip out in the presence of several other nuns. Embarrassed by her faux pas, she dropped a spoonful of dough into a large pot of boiling oil and accidentally made a fritter.
More likely somebody affixed the name simply because of the little pastry’s airy texture and sweet scent. Since nuns were thought to eat plain, godly food in meager portions, jokes typically had them farting in hushed wisps under all those garments. Probably more than one viewer of late-1960s television’s
The Flying Nun
wondered if what was keeping Sister Bertrille (Sally Field) aloft was too many of those wisps accumulating inside her starched habit.
Since I’d like you to have the pleasure of inviting people over to sample some nun’s farts, here’s a recipe that will provide you with about forty of them.
PETS DE NONNE (NUN’S FARTS)
6 tablespoons butter
1 cup flour
2 teaspoons sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 pinch salt
1 teaspoon dark rum (optional)
1 teaspoon grated lemon rind
Oil
4 eggs
Confectioners’ sugar
In a saucepan, mix the butter, sugar, salt, and lemon rind with 1 cup of water, and bring it slowly to a boil.
While you’re waiting, break the eggs into a separate small dish and have them ready.
When the butter has melted, remove the pan from the heat and stir in all the flour at once with a wooden spoon, first carefully, and then after the flour has been absorbed, vigorously.
When you have a thick paste, return the pan to the heat, and turn it up to medium-high. Cook the mixture for 3 to 4 minutes, stirring constantly and scraping the sides and bottom of the saucepan, until the batter clumps together in a solid mass and looks glossy. Take the pan from the stove.
Beat in the vanilla and, if you have it, the rum. When the batter has cooled a little, make a depression in its center, pour in 1 egg, and beat it into the mass. Then beat in the other eggs, one by one, the same way. The batter should now be soft, yet firm enough to hold its shape. Set it aside and let it rest for about 45 minutes.
To maintain the spirit of things, say a few Hail Marys while you’re waiting.
Now fill a deep skillet or deep-fat fryer two-thirds full of oil, and heat to 360°F. If you’ve got a fryer, use a slotted spoon or a wire mesh skimmer, not the basket. Drop the batter into the hot oil one teaspoonful at a time, dipping the spoon into the oil after each scoop. Don’t put in too much, because the dough puffs up to about four times its original size, and you’ll suddenly find yourself with an opera diva’s fart. Nudge the fritters over to color them evenly on all sides.
When they’re golden brown, let them drain on paper towels and sprinkle them with confectioners’ sugar.
Los Angeles Times
began its review of the film with, “Attention, Razzie voters!” (
Dirty Love
did win a buttful of Razzies earlier this year.) The award—a really cheap-looking, golf ball-sized raspberry on top of a mangled Super 8 film reel, whose gold veneer looks like it was spray-painted on at a skid row chop shop—has an estimated street value of $4.97. Besides Miss Berry, hardly ever do the winners show up, which goes to show you what a bunch of sore winners Hollywood’s A-listers really are. Or maybe they take it personally when the rabble makes farting noises at them.
HABIT-FORMING FRITTERS
A h, those French. Where else would a certain kind of dark brown cheese be called
crottin
—or horse turd?
But a more popular item is their
pet de nonne
, or nun’s fart—a dainty, sugar-dusted fried fritter. It’s also less commonly called a
soupir de nonne
(nun’s sigh) and a
pet de soeur
(sister’s fart).
The nun’s fart is related to the donut, whose origins go back to a Dutch pastry from the fifteenth century called an
olykoek
(oily cake), so named because it was cooked in oil. According to legend, a nun living in the abbey of Marmoutier (wherever that is) was preparing food for a religious feast when she let a fart slip out in the presence of several other nuns. Embarrassed by her faux pas, she dropped a spoonful of dough into a large pot of boiling oil and accidentally made a fritter.
More likely somebody affixed the name simply because of the little pastry’s airy texture and sweet scent. Since nuns were thought to eat plain, godly food in meager portions, jokes typically had them farting in hushed wisps under all those garments. Probably more than one viewer of late-1960s television’s
The Flying Nun
wondered if what was keeping Sister Bertrille (Sally Field) aloft was too many of those wisps accumulating inside her starched habit.
Since I’d like you to have the pleasure of inviting people over to sample some nun’s farts, here’s a recipe that will provide you with about forty of them.
PETS DE NONNE (NUN’S FARTS)
6 tablespoons butter
1 cup flour
2 teaspoons sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 pinch salt
1 teaspoon dark rum (optional)
1 teaspoon grated lemon rind
Oil
4 eggs
Confectioners’ sugar
In a saucepan, mix the butter, sugar, salt, and lemon rind with 1 cup of water, and bring it slowly to a boil.
While you’re waiting, break the eggs into a separate small dish and have them ready.
When the butter has melted, remove the pan from the heat and stir in all the flour at once with a wooden spoon, first carefully, and then after the flour has been absorbed, vigorously.
When you have a thick paste, return the pan to the heat, and turn it up to medium-high. Cook the mixture for 3 to 4 minutes, stirring constantly and scraping the sides and bottom of the saucepan, until the batter clumps together in a solid mass and looks glossy. Take the pan from the stove.
Beat in the vanilla and, if you have it, the rum. When the batter has cooled a little, make a depression in its center, pour in 1 egg, and beat it into the mass. Then beat in the other eggs, one by one, the same way. The batter should now be soft, yet firm enough to hold its shape. Set it aside and let it rest for about 45 minutes.
To maintain the spirit of things, say a few Hail Marys while you’re waiting.
Now fill a deep skillet or deep-fat fryer two-thirds full of oil, and heat to 360°F. If you’ve got a fryer, use a slotted spoon or a wire mesh skimmer, not the basket. Drop the batter into the hot oil one teaspoonful at a time, dipping the spoon into the oil after each scoop. Don’t put in too much, because the dough puffs up to about four times its original size, and you’ll suddenly find yourself with an opera diva’s fart. Nudge the fritters over to color them evenly on all sides.
When they’re golden brown, let them drain on paper towels and sprinkle them with confectioners’ sugar.
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