Read Online Black Mischief by Evelyn Waugh - Free Book Online Page A

Bretagne, and sent it down to the chancery, with instructions to
the boy to wait for an answer. William scribbled, So sorry darling
desperately busy today see you at luncheon. Longing to read Panorama. W., and
threw four kings in two.
    Prudence
disconsolately abandoned her fountain pen and went out to watch her mother
thinning the michaelmas daisies.
    Prudence
and William had left an inflated india-rubber sea-serpent behind them in the
bathroom. Sir Samson sat in the warm water engrossed with it. He swished it
down the water and caught it in his toes; he made waves for it; he blew it
along; he sat on it and let it shoot up suddenly to the surface between his
thighs; he squeezed some of the air out of it and made bubbles. Chance treats
of this kind made or marred the happiness of the Envoy’s day. Soon he was rapt
in daydream about the pleistocene age, where among mists and vast, unpeopled
crags schools of deep-sea monsters splashed and sported; oh happy fifth day of
creation, thought the Envoy Extraordinary, oh radiant infant sun, newly weaned
from the breasts of darkness, oh rich steam of the soggy continents, oh jolly
whales and sea-serpents frisking in new brine … Knocks at the door. William’s
voice outside.
    ‘Walker’s
just ridden over, sir. Can you see him?’
    Crude
disillusionment.
    Sir
Samson returned abruptly to the twentieth century, to a stale and crowded
world; to a bath grown tepid and an india-rubber toy. ‘Walker? Never heard of
him.’
    ‘Yes,
sir, you know him. The American secretary.’
    ‘Oh,
yes, to be sure. Extraordinary time to call. What on earth does the fellow
want? If he tries to borrow the tennis marker again, tell him it’s broken.’
    ‘He’s
just got information about the war. Apparently there’s been a decisive battle
at last.’
    ‘Oh,
well, I’m glad to hear that. Which side won, do you know?’
    ‘He did
tell me, but I’ve forgotten.’
    ‘Doesn’t
matter. I’ll hear all about it from him. Tell him I’ll be down directly. Give
him a putter and let him play clock golf. And you’d better let them know he’ll
be staying to luncheon.’
    Half an
hour later Sir Samson came downstairs and greeted Mr Walker.
    ‘My
dear fellow, how good of you to come. I couldn’t get out before; the morning is
always rather busy here. I hope they’ve been looking after you properly. I
think it’s about time for a cocktail, William.’
    ‘The
Minister thought that you’d like to have news of the battle. We got it on the
wireless from Matodi. We tried to ring you up yesterday evening but couldn’t
get through.’
    ‘No, I
always have the telephone disconnected after dinner. Must keep some part of the
day for oneself, you know.’
    ‘Of
course, we haven’t got any full details yet.’
    ‘Of
course not. Still, the war’s over, William tells me, and I, for one, a in glad.
It’s been on too long. Very upsetting to everything. Let me see, which of them
won it?’
    ‘Seth.’
    ‘Ah
yes, to be sure. Seth. I’m very glad. He was … now let me see … which was
he?’
    ‘He’s
the old Empress’s son.’
    ‘Yes,
yes, now I’ve got him. And the Empress, what’s become of her?’
    ‘She
died last year.’
    ‘I’m
glad. It’s very disagreeable for an old lady of her age to get involved in all
these disturbances. And What’s-his-name, you know the chap she was married to? He
dead, too?’
    ‘Seyid?
There’s no news of him. I think we may take it that we’ve seen the last of
him.’
    ‘Pity.
Nice fellow. Always liked him. By the by, hadn’t one of the fellows been to
school in England?’
    ‘Yes,
that’s Seth.’
    ‘Is it,
by Jove. Then he speaks English?’
    ‘Perfectly.’
    ‘That’ll
be one in the eye for Ballon, after all the trouble he took to learn Sakuyu.
Here’s William with the cocktails.’
    ‘I’m
afraid they won’t be up to much this morning, sir. We’ve run out of Peach
Brandy.’
    ‘Well,
never mind. It won’t be long now before we get everything