Read Online Black Heart Blue by Louisa Reid - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Louisa Reid
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a drink?’ she asked and I nodded and sipped through a straw.
‘The doctor’ll be round soon. But don’t worry, you’re safe.’ She smoothed the hair from my forehead and that touch was so cool that I cried.
‘Hey, hey!’ she soothed. ‘It’s all OK. You’ll be fine. We mend people here! We don’t want tears.’ And then, almost as I opened my mouth to speak, she brought the sledgehammer down.
‘Your dad’s just outside. He’s been ever so worried. Well, haven’t we all? But I think you’ll be good as new, you’re a strong little thing, aren’t you? A proper little fighter. I’ll tell him he can come in, shall I, poppet?’ Off she went with a smile and in came The Father.
‘Don’t say a word,’ he breathed into my face, ‘or they’ll take you away.’
If they took me away I’d never see Granny or my sister again, so I sewed my mouth shut.
He didn’t leave me after that. He sat and held the hand of the arm that wasn’t in plaster up to my elbow and his nail dug a groove in my palm.
There was an answer for every question, an excuse for every word. I’d been mucking about and fallen down the stairs. (
You know, foolish horse play, they’ve been told to be careful, many a time.
) He didn’t mention that he’d hit me at the top or describe how I’d tumbled from stair to stair like the funny plastic Slinky toy we played with at Granny’s.
The day they let me go, sound booming everywhere around me now that I had the screws and the boxes to allow me to hear, he bought that nurse flowers and chocolates and a card. He held both her hands and she flushed pink as petals on a new summer rose.
That was when I was nine.
Most of all Hephzi wanted revenge. So far I didn’t dare spill her secret but maybe one day, if my soul ever found a place to breathe, I would.
As for leaving, well, how could I? I had no job, no money and still no idea if they’d fall for the summer-school plan. I was going to have to try again with The Mother but when I spoke, she pretended not to hear.
Hephzi could get The Mother to do almost anything. I don’t mean she could get her to set us free, unless the college debacle counts, or that she could make her call off The Father when he’d flipped. But The Mother would do other stuff if Hephzi nagged. Mainly she could get her to lie to him and cover for her. That’s how Hephzi managed to see Craig; if it hadn’t been for The Mother pretending not tonotice anything, then maybe my sister would still be alive. I’m sure she knew Hephzi was sneaking out, I’m sure she rumbled her and turned her vacant eyes the other way because she was afraid of what Hephzi might do or say, like she’s afraid of him. People are. Both of them have this way of looking at you which makes you wish you were invisible. Hephzi would do it to me all the time. If I disagreed with her or warned her or advised her she’d fix me with that stare, that
curled lip, which demanded,
Who are you to tell me anything?
Because I had warned her. Lots of times. When I’d found out about what she’d been doing with Craig I’d told her she was mad, asking for trouble and was bound to get found out, but she’d sneered and snarled until I climbed back into my box. I’d told her once, after one of her escapades with Craig, that it made her just like him.
‘What do you mean?’ She’d stared at me, wide-eyed. Little Miss Innocent.
‘When you bully me, when you won’t listen to me. When you treat me like I’m a nobody. That’s just like HIM.’ I mouthed the final word at her as loud as I could in the night-time of our room, silently shouting to be heard.
‘I’m not like that! Don’t say that, Reb!’ She cried and said she was sorry, but I knew she wouldn’t be able to help herself. Hephzi thought she’d learnt how to survive.
Even though I’d posted the application I knew the summer-school idea would have to go. It had been stupid to even think it was a possibility.
What are you going to do,
‘The doctor’ll be round soon. But don’t worry, you’re safe.’ She smoothed the hair from my forehead and that touch was so cool that I cried.
‘Hey, hey!’ she soothed. ‘It’s all OK. You’ll be fine. We mend people here! We don’t want tears.’ And then, almost as I opened my mouth to speak, she brought the sledgehammer down.
‘Your dad’s just outside. He’s been ever so worried. Well, haven’t we all? But I think you’ll be good as new, you’re a strong little thing, aren’t you? A proper little fighter. I’ll tell him he can come in, shall I, poppet?’ Off she went with a smile and in came The Father.
‘Don’t say a word,’ he breathed into my face, ‘or they’ll take you away.’
If they took me away I’d never see Granny or my sister again, so I sewed my mouth shut.
He didn’t leave me after that. He sat and held the hand of the arm that wasn’t in plaster up to my elbow and his nail dug a groove in my palm.
There was an answer for every question, an excuse for every word. I’d been mucking about and fallen down the stairs. (
You know, foolish horse play, they’ve been told to be careful, many a time.
) He didn’t mention that he’d hit me at the top or describe how I’d tumbled from stair to stair like the funny plastic Slinky toy we played with at Granny’s.
The day they let me go, sound booming everywhere around me now that I had the screws and the boxes to allow me to hear, he bought that nurse flowers and chocolates and a card. He held both her hands and she flushed pink as petals on a new summer rose.
That was when I was nine.
Most of all Hephzi wanted revenge. So far I didn’t dare spill her secret but maybe one day, if my soul ever found a place to breathe, I would.
As for leaving, well, how could I? I had no job, no money and still no idea if they’d fall for the summer-school plan. I was going to have to try again with The Mother but when I spoke, she pretended not to hear.
Hephzi could get The Mother to do almost anything. I don’t mean she could get her to set us free, unless the college debacle counts, or that she could make her call off The Father when he’d flipped. But The Mother would do other stuff if Hephzi nagged. Mainly she could get her to lie to him and cover for her. That’s how Hephzi managed to see Craig; if it hadn’t been for The Mother pretending not tonotice anything, then maybe my sister would still be alive. I’m sure she knew Hephzi was sneaking out, I’m sure she rumbled her and turned her vacant eyes the other way because she was afraid of what Hephzi might do or say, like she’s afraid of him. People are. Both of them have this way of looking at you which makes you wish you were invisible. Hephzi would do it to me all the time. If I disagreed with her or warned her or advised her she’d fix me with that stare, that
curled lip, which demanded,
Who are you to tell me anything?
Because I had warned her. Lots of times. When I’d found out about what she’d been doing with Craig I’d told her she was mad, asking for trouble and was bound to get found out, but she’d sneered and snarled until I climbed back into my box. I’d told her once, after one of her escapades with Craig, that it made her just like him.
‘What do you mean?’ She’d stared at me, wide-eyed. Little Miss Innocent.
‘When you bully me, when you won’t listen to me. When you treat me like I’m a nobody. That’s just like HIM.’ I mouthed the final word at her as loud as I could in the night-time of our room, silently shouting to be heard.
‘I’m not like that! Don’t say that, Reb!’ She cried and said she was sorry, but I knew she wouldn’t be able to help herself. Hephzi thought she’d learnt how to survive.
Even though I’d posted the application I knew the summer-school idea would have to go. It had been stupid to even think it was a possibility.
What are you going to do,
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