Read Online Black Beans & Vice by J. B. Stanley - Free Book Online Page B

YouTube's homepage and searched for Fay Sunray, clicked
on one of her videos entitled, "We Love Our Earth," and sat back to
watch. Fay had golden hair styled in pigtail braids and large, bright
blue eyes. She was in her late twenties, but sang with a very high
and girlish voice. She wore a navy dress covered with sunflower
designs and a pair of green galoshes. As she sang about recycling
and water conservation, a group of flower puppets with smiling
faces provided background vocals.
    "Nothing offensive there," James mused. "She seems pretty and
sweet. The little boys probably all have crushes on her." He scrolled
farther down the page. "I've got to find a link to that Nashville
show."

    James sat through several videos but heard nothing untoward
in the verses or in the silly knock-knock jokes her sidekick, Dew
Drop, liked to tell.
    Finally, he clicked on a video for the song, "Animals Are Our
Friends (Nashville Version)" and listened closely as people dressed
in a variety of farm animal costumes sang along with Fay. The song
was clearly one of the children's favorites and whenever the entertainer pointed the microphone at the audience, the kids shouted
the appropriate animal noises at the top of their lungs. As another
chorus reached a crescendo, the flower puppets James had seen on
previous clips of Fay's television show popped up on stage.
    "This has got to be the finale," James tapped the mouse impatiently. He preferred shows like Sesame Street or Mr. Rogers and
wished Eliot could watch old episodes of Captain Kangaroo or
the Muppet Show instead of the bizarre contemporary cartoons
he enjoyed. Fay Sunray was certainly a welcome throwback to the
good old days of television, especially when compared to shows
like SpongeBob or the Backyardigans.
    As James waited, the computer screen filled with blinking
lights. Rainbow-hued confetti came raining down on the Nashville
stage. The animals and flowers bowed and most of them waved
and wiggled off the stage to a roar of applause. However, the actors
dressed in the cow, chicken, and pig costumes remained. Fay carefully laid her guitar on her stool and put an arm around the cow
and the pig. The chicken snuggled up to her legs and gazed up at
her with adoration.
    "And remember boys and girls," she spoke melodically into her
headset microphone. "Animals are our friends. We need to protect them. That's why I don't eat meat, because I don't EAT my friends! I am proud to be a ve-ge-ta-ri-an" Fay sang the word as
she squeezed the cow, who hugged her fiercely in return as the pig
nodded in agreement. "Good night, children! Thank you for coming and remember to be kind to our planet! It's the only one we
have!"

    The video clip ended and James shook his head in disgust. "`I
don't eat my friends!' What kind of thing is that to say to a bunch
of little kids? No wonder Eliot was influenced by this woman. He
probably idolizes her and would never want to disappoint her."
    For the most part, James agreed with Fay's pro-environmental
messages, even though he was certain that kids between three and
six-years-old had no idea what she meant by "eco-friendly measures." He'd have no issue with the pretty entertainer had she stuck
to her usual montage, but he was aggrieved by how she chose to
close her Nashville show and was sorely tempted to write her a letter.
    He'd just begun composing an opening line in his mind when
Jane and Eliot arrived.
    "We had chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast! At my favorite
truck stop!" Eliot shouted as he launched himself into his father's
open arms. "With a strawberry mouth and bananas for eyes. And
guess what the nose was?"
    James scrunched up his face and pretended to be giving the
matter serious consideration. "A grape?" he guessed.
    "Nope!" Eliot shouted, delighted to have stumped an adult. "A
cherry! Like the kind they put in Shirley Temples."
    "Your mom is awfully good to you, buddy." James winked at
Jane over Eliot's