she nodded towards our old Buick that was sitting at the end of the driveway.
Orange glow peeked over the horizon and mixed with lavender clouds. I’d never seen such a pretty sky before. I turned to look at our little blue trailer with the leaky tin roof one last time, my eyes landing on the window to the bedroom I shared with the boys who were my stepbrothers, my family , for as long as I could remember.
“Everly! Get in the car!” my mother yelled, though her voice was still very much a whisper.
I threw my backpack over the back of the seat and shut the door. She popped the shifter into neutral and pushed the rusting Buick to the end of the street. She was a skinny little thing, but no one ever accused Tammy-Dawn Conners of being weak.
Only slightly breathless, she climbed in and started the car up. The muffler popped, startling us both, and my mother’s hands flew to her chest like she was about to have a heart attack. Her eyes darted to the rearview, as if she were making sure Big Nash wasn’t coming after us.
I stayed quiet, taking everything in. The night before, Gray had tucked me in with a promise that he’d take me to the municipal pool on Saturday. Had I known it would be the last time we’d be around each other, I’d have done something special for him. He was always thinking of us, and it occurred to me in that moment, as we drove far away from Bolton, Nevada, that no one ever thought about Gray.
My breath caught in my chest, and I stifled the sobs that tried to force their way past my lips as I mourned the loss of my big brother. My protector. My angel. The only person who ever truly looked out for me.
“Everly, stop crying,” my mom huffed as her bony hands gripped the wheel. “We Conners girls are tough. We don’t cry. We do what we have to do and we get the fuck over it.”
“I-I just wanted to say goodbye to my brothers,” I sniffled, wiping my eyes on the back of my hand.
She scrunched her face. “They weren’t even really your brothers.”
I faced the window to my right, unable to look at her as if that was supposed to make me feel better.
“I was never married to Big Nash, you know that,” she said. She pulled down the visor as she drove, checking out the remnants of a shiner on her left eye. Big Nash had socked her in the face the week before, and Mom was a very vain woman considering her lifestyle. She was what I’d heard the other kids at school refer to as “white trash pretty”. Her full lips and perfectly straight teeth paired with her round, aqua-colored eyes were a stark contrast against her tanned, leathered skin and thinning blonde hair. She’d aged considerably over the past few years as she rode on the back of Big Nash Daughtry’s bike in the scorching Nevada sun. She looked much older than her thirty years. “I shoulda known better than to get involved with those biker gangs.”
She popped the visor back and held her shoulders high as her eyes focused on the road. We turned towards the highway that led out of town.
“Where are we going?” I asked.
“I don’t know,” she said. “I’m driving west. We’ll stop when it feels right.”
That was exactly how we ended up in Bolton, Nevada. Mom said it just “felt right”, though I suspect it had to do with the green-eyed Casanova hitting on her at the bar she snuck off to the night I was fast asleep in the motel she’d rented.
That green-eyed Casanova happened to be Big Nash Daughtry, and it didn’t take long for him to sink his meat hooks right into her lonely, desperate, single-mom heart.
“Just sleep, Everly. Stop asking so many questions. You’re making my head hurt,” Mom said, her voice rushed and sharp as if she couldn’t keep her thoughts straight. “We’ll stop for breakfast in a couple hours once we get to the California state line.”
CHAPTER 1 – GRAY
PRESENT
“Ain’t shit in the house for breakfast.” I slammed the refrigerator door. “Nash!”
My stomach
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