Big Girls Don't Cry

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Authors: Gretchen Lane
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begin running for the door. My vision blurs, slowly turning into a spiraling t unnel and I pass out.

~ ~ ~
    “Hello! Miss! Miss! Can you hear me? Can you hear me?” A voice echoes loudly in my head.
    “Dude. I think she’s dead.”
    “No way. There’s too much fat around her neck. Probably saved her from breaking it when she fell.”
    “I know. I heard the thud from the back of the club, ” another voice speaks, and laughter follows.
    “Sh ut up! Both of you .”
    “Sorry, Billy.”
    “Me too, Bro.”
    I struggle to open my eyes.
    “Shhh! She’s coming to!”
    “Still want me to call the ambulance, Billy?”
    “Ambulance?” I speak softly. “No, no ambulance.”
    “ Whoa , j ust lay still . You took a pretty nasty fall, kiddo.” A firm hand holds me down as I try sitting up. “We’re going to have them come and check you out. Just to be safe, okay? ”
    “ Okay .” I speak— my head spinning. Slowly my vision returns , and I realized the man sitting over me is the same guy who opened the door earlier . Just is my luck. I see a good looking man and instead of being able to talk to him, I pass out and crack my skull open. Not literally, but right now I hope it is , so they take me away quickly.
    But it’s not, and they don’t. It takes t he EMT’s over 20 minutes to arrive.
    Don’t worry it’s j ust a fat chick. Take your time…

~ ~ ~
    By the time they arrive, I’m sitting against the wall with an ice compress on my forehead— l ooking like a complete dork, I’m sure.
    I pay no attention to the EMT un - wrapping the b lood pressure reader from my arm . I’m too busy looking over the large ice pack at the good-looking man, Billy , who is now scanning in new arrivals for the 10:30 kick boxing class.
    “ Gretchen L ane . I’m Twenty-four, a nd, it’s Monday the twenty-first of May ,” I tell the young man taking my vital signs. ‘Is he going to be teaching the class?’ I wonder of Billy.
    Of all of the times I’ve come to take a class, this is the only time I wish I actually could.
    Billy has a hard time keeping his attention on the desk as he continues looking over, monitoring my situation.
    The line of new arrivals ends , and I s hrivel from the realization he’ s walking over to me. He’s tall and muscular , and moves confidently through a domain he’s clearly comfortable being in — Large and in charge . ‘ Not me. I’m just large. ’ I kid myself to keep from panicking .
    I’ve always lacked self-confidence . I think tha t ’s why I fin d it so attractive in others.
    “Is she going to live? ” he asks, completing my self-mortification.
    I hide from his perfect smile by placing t he ice pack firmly over my face, and mumble from underneath, “Unfortunately .” I’m sure my face is beet red. ‘It’s from the ice pack!’ I want to scream.
    An EMT gives Billy the thumbs up , and his partner continue s closing up their gear and preparing to leave. Billy walks them to the exit of the gym , shaking hands, and thanking them for the help.
    He’s not smiling as he walks back, and I can only imagine what’s going on in his head. ‘Is she going to try and sue us?’
    “Don’t worry. I’m not going to try and sue the gym,” I state as he returns.
    The smile comes back to his face. “Well, that’s a relief. I’d hate to see us get sued over not having someone present to catch our fainting guest.”
    “True,” I say, with a light giggle.
    “Tell you what I would like to do for you , though .”
    “What’s that?”
    “When you’re feeling up to it, I’d like to offer you a couple of complimentary sessions with one of our trainers … By the way my name is, Billy.” A large hand extends out. I look past to the beautiful smile.
    “ Gretchen ,” I respond, taking his hand. His grip is stron g and firm, but he’s tender as he holds my hand , shaking lightly. “I would like that. But, I’ve already been given the free sessions the first time I came… And, I

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