Beyond Ruin
through tactile memories of Audra's breasts, her lips on her breasts; of Joe's generous girth thrusting inside her as warm bathwater lapped over her naked body; of James's eyes as he kissed her, whispering 'I love you' against her lips as he moved within her. Natalie arched her back and the sensation between her legs intensified.
    'Tell me again,' he said through heavy panting when he broke away from their kiss.
    'I love you.' The words came freely and unbidden. 'I've never loved anyone like I love you James Fitzgerald.' She kissed his lips once then whispered against them, 'I love you.' She kissed his cheek in a line to his ear, whispering I love you between each one. She kissed and suckled at his earlobe, encouraged by the moans that drifted from his mouth into the space around them. 'Let me show you how much I love you.'
    She used one foot to knock off the shoe from the other while she hurriedly peeled away the hoodie, revealing the black cotton knit gown beneath. James brushed the fabric up her thighs and chest before she stripped it too from her body. He indulged in her bare breasts, taking each one into his mouth as he caressed his fingers across her back and hips.
    'I love you, too,' he spoke under his breath between delicate mounds of flesh. She crouched her back into his arms until her face was level with his. He reached up and brushed a wavy strand of copper colored hair from her forehead and gently placed it behind her ear. 'You are so goddamn beautiful, Natalie Harlow.'
    Her legs shuddered as she tightened in euphoric release, anxiety washing away from her body with each breath she panted. She forced her lungs to inhale deeply and relaxed against the door as she exhaled. Already she felt lighter and more relaxed. When she was composed enough to walk she quickly freshened up at the sink and slipped out of the door. She only made it a few steps before she ran head-first into a six-foot wall of suit.
    "Sorry," she mumbled as her hands grabbed out for something to steady herself, only to feel his hands steady her first.
    "You okay?" James asked, his voice so close she could feel the whisper of his breath against her cheeks.
    "Yes, I'm fine." Her instincts warred with each other, half to reach out and touch him, and the other half to remove herself from his embrace. "Why are you up here?" she asked as gently as she could. She could only bring her eyes up as far as his ears, not quite daring to look in his eyes.
    "I was hoping to talk to you. In private."
    Before she could even think of a response she heard the obvious sounds of heavy footsteps ascending the stairs. Thinking quickly she grabbed the lapels of James' suit and pulled him into her bedroom and closed the door behind him.
    "Natalie?" Joe called out from the hallway. "You okay?"
    "I'm fine!" she called out over James' shoulder. "I'll be out in a minute."
    "Okay. I'm heading up to the roof to find Frankie and Quinn."
    "Have fun!" She remained quiet and still, listening to the sounds of Joe’s footsteps retreating back down the stairs. It took less than a moment for her senses to become attuned to the intoxicating scent of James' cologne activated by the radiating warmth of his body. His hands were on her arms, thumbs gently caressing through the fabric of her dress. She closed her eyes and inhaled him deeply, her mind flooding with every memory she had of him in her arms, or her in his.
    "How have you been?"
    She forced her eyes to open, to look straight ahead at the crisp knot of his tie. There was a tremendous comfort being in his arms, and she had to keep her wits about her to avoid giving in to familiarity.
    "Fine." She swallowed, and then opened her mouth to breathe. "Busy."
    One hand left her arm and went to her hair, fingering the cut edges just above her shoulder.
    "This is new."
    "Lots of things are new," she whispered. And so much feels the same . She plucked up the courage to bring her eyes up to meet his, and it was like being transported back in

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