Read Online Between by Jessica Warman - Free Book Online Page A

Mrs. Caruso, Josie’s mom. And while it feels like a struggle to recall specific events from my childhood, which is overall sort of fuzzy and indistinct in my mind, I remember the basics: At age nine, Josie and I had already been best friends for years. Our parents used to spend a lot of time together before my mother died. Then Josie’s dad left. What happened after that between my dad and Nicole almost seemed natural. Years ago, they’d been high school sweethearts. After my mother died, and after Nicole and her first husband got divorced, Nicole seemed to fall seamlessly into my life as a mother figure, and I never thought much about it; it was simply the way things were. My father needed a new wife; Nicole needed a new husband. I never felt like she was trying to replace my mother. And I’ve never believed any of the rumors that were spread around school, and throughout town, about my dad and Nicole having an affair before my mom died.
    Other people believed it, though. People close to me believed. Josie believed. It was a topic she and I tried not to broach much, and I never dared to bring it up with my dad. It occurs to me now that it isn’t that I was always certain there was no truth to the rumor; it was that I didn’t want to acknowledge the possibility that there could be any truth to it.
    “I’m okay,” I tell Nicole, attempting a smile. It seems obvious, now, how seriously Not Okay I was.
    Nicole kneels beside me. She holds my hands. Even as an observer, I can smell her. She’s wearing the same perfume she’s worn for as long as I’ve known her.
    In an instant, the thought occurs to me—who wears perfume to a funeral?
    “Josie is here,” she says. “She doesn’t want to come in, honey. She’s in the hallway. Would you like to come see her?”
    The nine-year-old me only nods, fresh tears filling my eyes. Where’s Mr. Caruso? I wonder. I don’t see him anywhere. It’s not all that surprising—he and Nicole got divorced a few months after my mom died.
    I follow my younger self and Nicole as they walk toward the back of the room and into the hallway. As I’m watching us, I notice several of the funeral attendees shooting glances at Nicole. They’re almost glaring at her. She doesn’t seem to notice; her arm is around my shoulders, guiding me toward the door as I take shaky steps in my high heels.
    Josie stands in the hallway, her back pressed into a corner that is covered in gaudy purple wallpaper.
    I can’t help but smile when I see her. She is so young, so innocent and pretty. She’s missing one of her front teeth. Her hair is pulled into two long, light-brown ponytails. An odd fact surfaces in my mind: Nicole didn’t let Josie start highlighting her hair until she was twelve.
    We hug each other tightly, holding on for a long time. Her hands are clenched into little fists around my neck. Out of total coincidence, we are wearing the same dress: black and dark green stripes on our full, knee-length skirts, black crushed velvet bodices tight around our tiny waists and chests.
    “Josie, honey? Do you have something you want to tell Liz?”
    Josie nods. She stares at me, wide eyed. “I wanted you to know,” she begins, her voice small and scared, “that you can come to our house whenever you want. You can even sleep over on school nights.” She glances up at Nicole. “Right, Mom?”
    “That’s right.” Nicole smoothes her daughter’s hair, winding a strand around her finger in thought. “If Liz’s dad says it’s okay.”
    “Thank you,” I tell her.
    “I got you something,” Josie adds. She looks at her mother again. Nicole reaches into her white suede purse and removes a long, narrow velvet box. Inside, there’s a slim gold bracelet, a single charm dangling from a loop. It’s half of a heart.
    “Best friends. See?” Josie holds up her left wrist. She’s wearing another bracelet, the matching half of the heart dangling from the chain. Nicole removes my bracelet from the