Read Online Beside Still Waters by Tracey V. Bateman - Free Book Online Page B

she’d heard Jonesy’s voice calling to her. Her eyes burned with tears that had no way to escape.
    “I don’t ever want to see him again.”
    “Eva, give yourself a few days to adjust. You’ll feel differently.”
    “What good will a few days do? Will my eyesight erase the fact that I am not fit to be a wife for a good man like Jonesy?”
    Eva heard a soft gasp escape her mother’s lips. “Eva. That is not true. Of course you’re fit to be a wife. No one thinks any of this was your fault.”
    “But it was. I knew better than to ride off like that. But I did it anyway. I might as well have offered myself to that man.”
    “Don’t talk like that.” Ma’s tone was harsh with shock and distress. “You are as pure in the eyes of the Lord as you were before this wicked, horrible thing happened to you, darling. Jonesy knows that.”
    “Oh, Mother, please.” Eva turned toward the window. She knew light must be shining through. If Pa was still working, nightfall hadn’t arrived. Still, darkness surrounded her. Deep, all-consuming darkness that invaded her soul.
    Ma’s hand rubbed along her leg. Eva’s skin crawled, and she had to fight the urge not to shake her off. Even that small touch caused her pain. Not physical, but another kind of pain, one she couldn’t identify. But she knew something was different inside her.
    It was fear. She’d never been afraid.
    “Eva, believe me. Jonesy loves you.”
    Eva gave a short, bitter laugh. “He would never take back his proposal. But you can be sure he’s been praying every night that I won’t wake up or, if I do, that I’ll let him out of it by refusing him.”
    “Eva Riley. You know Jonesy better than that.”
    Ignoring her ma’s interruption, Eva continued her thought as though she’d never spoken. “Since I’ve obviously awakened, I’m going to have to give him the second option. I’ll just have to refuse to marry him and send him on to Texas without me.”
    “Don’t make rash decisions after the ordeal you’ve been through. Take some time to think about it.”
    “My mind is made up. I don’t want to see him. If you love me, please respect my wishes. I don’t want to see Jonesy.” She winced as pain stabbed her head.
    “We won’t talk about this for now. You’re in too much pain to think clearly. Dr. Smith left some laudanum for you, but I’m not sure you should have any until he examines you.”
    “Please, Ma. The pain is unbearable.”
    “All right. I’ll give you less than he suggested. That should still help some.”
    Ma left and returned a moment later. She spooned the bitter liquid between Eva’s swollen lips. “There you go, darling. You get some rest now.”
    “Stay with me until I fall asleep?”
    Ma patted Eva’s hand. “I’ll be right next to your bed in that chair.”
    Almost immediately Eva grew drowsy. Despite her inability to see past her swollen eyes, in her mind she couldn’t escape the vivid images of her brutal attack. She welcomed the approaching sleep.
    Perhaps this time she wouldn’t wake up.

six
    “What do you mean, she won’t see me?” Hurt slashed at Jonesy as he stood on the Rileys’ porch, staring into Andy’s brown eyes. Eyes so like Eva’s.
    “Give her some time, son. She’s been through quite an ordeal.”
    “With all due respect, sir, I know what she’s been through.” Jonesy released a frustrated breath. “I want to be there for her. To help her get well. Why doesn’t she want to see me?”
    “Shame, most likely. You don’t understand what something like this does to a woman.”
    “I want to understand, Mr. Riley. I want Eva to lean on me. I want to take her away from the memories. I’ll postpone my trip until spring to give her time to heal. Will you tell her that for me? I can’t bear the thought of living the rest of my life without her.”
    He’d been so close to marrying her. They should be celebrating. Making plans to travel to Texas. Oh, sure, she hadn’t agreed to marry him