Read Online Bent Not Broken (A Cedar Creek #1) by Julia Goda - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Julia Goda
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inside.”
I looked at Macy. Silent tears were streaming down her cheeks while her lips trembled. Seeing her like that made my own throat close up, but I took a deep breath and powered through telling her about how my first time with my high school boyfriend was nothing but a sick joke my whole class was in on. How being humiliated like that had almost felt worse than getting beat up by my father. How that had taught me to have my walls up high and not let anything or anyone get close to me.
“I focused on my studies and made it out of there. Got a scholarship and was accepted into the early English Program at Boston University. I left the day of my graduation. My grandma was over the moon for me. She was relieved that I was leaving, that I could go and live my life away from all the darkness. And so was I. See, I was shy and introverted and kept to myself, but inside I was still a dreamer. I always had been. I would sit in my room for hours staring out my window, making up stories in my head, dreaming about my future, of how I would escape and make a life for myself, find a good man to build a family with. It was stupid really.
“I had been at college for a few months when I got the news from my grandma that my mother had committed suicide. I think with me gone and my father’s sole attention on her, she finally couldn’t take it anymore. She slid her wrists and thighs and bled out in the bathtub. My grandma almost seemed relieved. Sad, but relieved. “Now she can finally find some peace,” is what she said to me. And I agreed. I hoped she would find peace. I didn’t go to her funeral. It was the middle of the semester, and I didn’t see the point really. I tried not to be bitter about the fact that she had never protected me and worse, had used me as her shield to avoid a beating, but I was angry. I wished her peace, but that was all I could make myself do. I had said goodbye to her and that life when I had left for college. I had promised myself to move on from that life and never turn back, and that’s what I did.
“I loved college. It was everything I had hoped it would be and more. Nobody knew me. It was a fresh start. I took English as my major and started hanging out with people, made friends, opened up. Everyone was so enthusiastic and optimistic about the future and I loved it. For the first time in my life, I felt free. Free to do what I wanted, free to come home late, sleep in, have left over pizza for breakfast, go hang out with friends, go to bars and clubs and dance the night away, free to choose my path in life without being afraid someone would take it all away from me. I discovered the real me and I was happy. Truly happy. The life I had always dreamed of was so close I could almost touch it. It was the best feeling ever.”
I stopped.
The next part was going to be brutal. In more ways than one.
I looked over to Larry. He had his elbows to his knees and his head was hanging low, facing the carpet in front of him. He was bracing himself for what was about to come. I turned my head to look at my best friend. She was still clutching my hand in both of hers, hanging on. Her cheeks were wet and her eyes were sad. Her lips were tightly pressed together. Waiting and bracing.
“Mace?” I whispered, too scared to go on, afraid it would be too much for her. And me.
“It’s okay, honey, go on,” she nodded at me and gave me a small smile of reassurance that didn’t reach her eyes. I needed another drink. I looked at Larry and he poured me one. I downed it and looked at him again. Larry looked at his wife, then relented and filled my glass. The burn slid down my throat and warmed my stomach. I closed my eyes and finished my story.
“Then I met Kyle,” my voice had turned dead. “He was handsome and charming. And possessive. But I didn’t mind that at all. I thought it just meant that he cared about me. He was majoring in business and was a year ahead of me. When he took me out on our first
I looked at Macy. Silent tears were streaming down her cheeks while her lips trembled. Seeing her like that made my own throat close up, but I took a deep breath and powered through telling her about how my first time with my high school boyfriend was nothing but a sick joke my whole class was in on. How being humiliated like that had almost felt worse than getting beat up by my father. How that had taught me to have my walls up high and not let anything or anyone get close to me.
“I focused on my studies and made it out of there. Got a scholarship and was accepted into the early English Program at Boston University. I left the day of my graduation. My grandma was over the moon for me. She was relieved that I was leaving, that I could go and live my life away from all the darkness. And so was I. See, I was shy and introverted and kept to myself, but inside I was still a dreamer. I always had been. I would sit in my room for hours staring out my window, making up stories in my head, dreaming about my future, of how I would escape and make a life for myself, find a good man to build a family with. It was stupid really.
“I had been at college for a few months when I got the news from my grandma that my mother had committed suicide. I think with me gone and my father’s sole attention on her, she finally couldn’t take it anymore. She slid her wrists and thighs and bled out in the bathtub. My grandma almost seemed relieved. Sad, but relieved. “Now she can finally find some peace,” is what she said to me. And I agreed. I hoped she would find peace. I didn’t go to her funeral. It was the middle of the semester, and I didn’t see the point really. I tried not to be bitter about the fact that she had never protected me and worse, had used me as her shield to avoid a beating, but I was angry. I wished her peace, but that was all I could make myself do. I had said goodbye to her and that life when I had left for college. I had promised myself to move on from that life and never turn back, and that’s what I did.
“I loved college. It was everything I had hoped it would be and more. Nobody knew me. It was a fresh start. I took English as my major and started hanging out with people, made friends, opened up. Everyone was so enthusiastic and optimistic about the future and I loved it. For the first time in my life, I felt free. Free to do what I wanted, free to come home late, sleep in, have left over pizza for breakfast, go hang out with friends, go to bars and clubs and dance the night away, free to choose my path in life without being afraid someone would take it all away from me. I discovered the real me and I was happy. Truly happy. The life I had always dreamed of was so close I could almost touch it. It was the best feeling ever.”
I stopped.
The next part was going to be brutal. In more ways than one.
I looked over to Larry. He had his elbows to his knees and his head was hanging low, facing the carpet in front of him. He was bracing himself for what was about to come. I turned my head to look at my best friend. She was still clutching my hand in both of hers, hanging on. Her cheeks were wet and her eyes were sad. Her lips were tightly pressed together. Waiting and bracing.
“Mace?” I whispered, too scared to go on, afraid it would be too much for her. And me.
“It’s okay, honey, go on,” she nodded at me and gave me a small smile of reassurance that didn’t reach her eyes. I needed another drink. I looked at Larry and he poured me one. I downed it and looked at him again. Larry looked at his wife, then relented and filled my glass. The burn slid down my throat and warmed my stomach. I closed my eyes and finished my story.
“Then I met Kyle,” my voice had turned dead. “He was handsome and charming. And possessive. But I didn’t mind that at all. I thought it just meant that he cared about me. He was majoring in business and was a year ahead of me. When he took me out on our first
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