divorced John a month after they married and
let him go off to work on a drill rig in the
ocean," Simon returned. "He died
there."
Harry stared at him blankly. "But that wasn't her
fault."
"Wasn't it?"
"Why
are you so bitter?" Harry wanted to know. "For God's sake, you can't think she didn't try to change
him? He should have told her the truth
before he married her, not let her find it out that way!"
Simon was puzzled. "Find what out?"
Jill glared at Simon, but he made a motion for her to
wait another minute and turned back to Harry.
"Find what out?" he repeated curtly.
"That John was homosexual, of course," Harry
said, puzzled.
208
Beloved
Diana Palmer
209
The blood drained out of Simon's face. He stared down at
the older man with dawning comprehension.
"She didn't tell you? ” Harry asked gently.
He sighed and shook his head. "That's like
her, though. She wanted to preserve your
illusions about John, even if it meant sacrificing your respect for
her. She couldn't tell you, I guess. I can't blame her. If he'd only been able to accept what he was...but he
couldn't. He tried so hard to be what
he thought I wanted. And he never seemed to understand that I'd have loved him
regardless of how he saw his place in
the world."
Simon turned away, his eyes finding Tira across the room. She wouldn't meet his
gaze. Site turned her back. He felt the pain right through his body.
"Dear God!" he growled when
he realized what he'd done.
"Don't look like that," Harry said gently.
"John made his own choice. It was nobody's fault. Maybe it
was mine. I should have seen that he was
distraught and done something."
Simon let out a breath. He was sick right to his soul.
What a fool he'd been.
"She should have told you," Harry was saying.
"You're a grown man. You don't need to be protected from the truth.
She was always like that, even with John,
trying to protect him. She'd have
gone on with the marriage if he hadn't insisted on a di vorce."
“I thought... she got the divorce.''
"He got it, in her name and cited mental
cruelty." He shrugged. "I don't think he
considered how it might look to an outsider. It made things worse for him. He
only did it to save her reputation. He
thought it would hurt her publicly if he made it look like she was at fault.” He glanced at Simon. "That was right after your wreck and she was trying to take care of you.
He thought it might appear as if she was having an affair with you and he found out. It might lave damaged both of
you in the public
eye."
His teeth clenched. "I never touched her."
''Neither did John," Harry murmured heavily.
"He couldn't. He cried in my arms about it, just
before he saw an attorney. He wanted to love
her. He did, in his way. But it wasn't in a con ventional way at all."
Simon pushed back a strand of dark, wavy hair that had
fallen on his brow. He was sweating because the
gallery was overheated.
"Are you all right?" Harry
asked with concern.
"I'm fine." He wasn't. He'd never be all right
again. He glanced toward Tira with anguish hi every line of his face. But she wouldn't even look at him.
Jill, sensing some problem, came back to join him,
sliding her hand into his arm. "Aren't you
ready? We'll miss the curtain."
"I'm ready," he said. He looked down at her
and realized that here was one more strike against him.
He was giving aid and comfort to Tira's worst enemy in the city. He'd done it deliber ately,
of course, to make her even more uncomfortable. But that was before he knew the whole truth. Now he felt
guilty.
"Hello. I'm Jill Sinclair. Have we met?" she
asked Harry, smil ing.
"No, we haven't. I'm—"
"We
have to go," Simon said abruptly. He didn't want to add any more weapons to Jill's already full arsenal by
letting Harry tell her about John,
too. "See you, Harry."
"Sure. Goodnight."
"Who was that?" Jill asked Simon as they went
toward the door.
"An old friend. Just a minute. There's something I
have to do."
"Simon...!"
"I won't be a minute," he
let him go off to work on a drill rig in the
ocean," Simon returned. "He died
there."
Harry stared at him blankly. "But that wasn't her
fault."
"Wasn't it?"
"Why
are you so bitter?" Harry wanted to know. "For God's sake, you can't think she didn't try to change
him? He should have told her the truth
before he married her, not let her find it out that way!"
Simon was puzzled. "Find what out?"
Jill glared at Simon, but he made a motion for her to
wait another minute and turned back to Harry.
"Find what out?" he repeated curtly.
"That John was homosexual, of course," Harry
said, puzzled.
208
Beloved
Diana Palmer
209
The blood drained out of Simon's face. He stared down at
the older man with dawning comprehension.
"She didn't tell you? ” Harry asked gently.
He sighed and shook his head. "That's like
her, though. She wanted to preserve your
illusions about John, even if it meant sacrificing your respect for
her. She couldn't tell you, I guess. I can't blame her. If he'd only been able to accept what he was...but he
couldn't. He tried so hard to be what
he thought I wanted. And he never seemed to understand that I'd have loved him
regardless of how he saw his place in
the world."
Simon turned away, his eyes finding Tira across the room. She wouldn't meet his
gaze. Site turned her back. He felt the pain right through his body.
"Dear God!" he growled when
he realized what he'd done.
"Don't look like that," Harry said gently.
"John made his own choice. It was nobody's fault. Maybe it
was mine. I should have seen that he was
distraught and done something."
Simon let out a breath. He was sick right to his soul.
What a fool he'd been.
"She should have told you," Harry was saying.
"You're a grown man. You don't need to be protected from the truth.
She was always like that, even with John,
trying to protect him. She'd have
gone on with the marriage if he hadn't insisted on a di vorce."
“I thought... she got the divorce.''
"He got it, in her name and cited mental
cruelty." He shrugged. "I don't think he
considered how it might look to an outsider. It made things worse for him. He
only did it to save her reputation. He
thought it would hurt her publicly if he made it look like she was at fault.” He glanced at Simon. "That was right after your wreck and she was trying to take care of you.
He thought it might appear as if she was having an affair with you and he found out. It might lave damaged both of
you in the public
eye."
His teeth clenched. "I never touched her."
''Neither did John," Harry murmured heavily.
"He couldn't. He cried in my arms about it, just
before he saw an attorney. He wanted to love
her. He did, in his way. But it wasn't in a con ventional way at all."
Simon pushed back a strand of dark, wavy hair that had
fallen on his brow. He was sweating because the
gallery was overheated.
"Are you all right?" Harry
asked with concern.
"I'm fine." He wasn't. He'd never be all right
again. He glanced toward Tira with anguish hi every line of his face. But she wouldn't even look at him.
Jill, sensing some problem, came back to join him,
sliding her hand into his arm. "Aren't you
ready? We'll miss the curtain."
"I'm ready," he said. He looked down at her
and realized that here was one more strike against him.
He was giving aid and comfort to Tira's worst enemy in the city. He'd done it deliber ately,
of course, to make her even more uncomfortable. But that was before he knew the whole truth. Now he felt
guilty.
"Hello. I'm Jill Sinclair. Have we met?" she
asked Harry, smil ing.
"No, we haven't. I'm—"
"We
have to go," Simon said abruptly. He didn't want to add any more weapons to Jill's already full arsenal by
letting Harry tell her about John,
too. "See you, Harry."
"Sure. Goodnight."
"Who was that?" Jill asked Simon as they went
toward the door.
"An old friend. Just a minute. There's something I
have to do."
"Simon...!"
"I won't be a minute," he
Similar Books
