work, first place and the chance to go forward to the Scottish finals, go to Fiona O’Connell .
It’s amazing how much difference winning the prize made. If Jas had won (and if even one of the judges’d been different, it would of been him, as Miss Mulhern reminded us on several occasions), then his position as best artist in school and my position in his shadow would of been retained. Coming second would of been easier – Miss Mulhern could be nice to me, put me in the box she’d already labelled. Winning knocked out her whole way of looking at things. I’d spent weeks stuck at the computer in Mr Lyons’ room and suddenly produced the goods, taking the prestigious prize away fae her star pupil. You could see how it would scunner her.
It made a big difference tae my family. Of course they’d known I was good at art, just like I was good at English or History, but Art was a frivolous subject, no something tae base your life choices on. But the cheque for a thousand quid changed that. Da couldnae believe it, kept shaking his heid in amazement and saying, You’ll need tae take care of this, Fiona , as if I was gonnae drop it in the street or accidentally tear itup or something. Janice took me out and helped me open a special savings account.
It seems a lot, but when you’re a student you’ll find it’ll be a real help .
The only person it didnae affect was Jas. I worried he’d be pissed aff I’d won the prize, kept watching him for signs of things changing between us, but there was nothing. He was just the same.
THE LAST WEEK of school everyone’s in party mood, looking forward tae the Christmas holidays. Hauf the weans have stopped coming and teachers keep the rest quiet with videos and chocolate. As I walk alang the corridor laughter and music spill fae every classroom.
It’s Mammy’s anniversary.
She died on the 19th of December and it took all Janice and Patrick’s determination and organisation to get her buried by Christmas Eve. Sudden deaths cause confusion, sudden deaths mean post mortems, new lairs being opened, but my Mammy’s … a sudden death where a birth had been expected. Two deaths in one.
Voices on the phone, expecting good news.
A boy or a wee lassie?
What’s the weight?
Who does she look like?
Then the voices trailing aff intae silence.
Janice, list in haund, gaun through the details wi my da. Maist of the time he didnae seem tae care or even hear her, but noo and again he’d dig his heels in over something, made things mair difficult for her.
We can get the parish hall for after the funeral, Bobby. They’ll do sandwiches .
Geraldine wouldnae of wanted the parish hall .
It’s hard tae get anywhere else at this notice just before Christmas – every hotel’s booked up with office parties and Christmas dinners .
She hated the smell of stewed tea. She hated they pinnies the wee wifies wear .
Is there any particular hymn you want for the funeral? Father O’Hara’s coming round in half an hour .
Star of the Sea. When we’re walking out the chapel. And Janice … He grabbed her sleeve. I want her tae have white flowers fae the baby .
I hated the baby. Hated the wee white coffin placed next tae hers. Marguerite. Da said that was what she’d wanted to call the baby if it was a girl. A pearl.
‘Those are pearls that were his eyes.’
Nae wonder Shakespeare used that. Pearls are dead white.
Sitting in the front row of the chapel between Patrick and Mona, hatred rising in me as if all the blood in my body had boiled and risen intae steam, hatred concentrating itsel on that one wee white box, and the person inside who had killed my mammy.
Afterwards folk said how calm I was at the funeral, how I’d no shed a tear, how I’d kept gaun for my daddy, who’dshed enough tears for the whole lot of us, who’d wept and wailed his way through every hymn and every word of the service, who had to be helped doon the aisle, couldnae even take his turn tae carry the coffin.
Only
It’s amazing how much difference winning the prize made. If Jas had won (and if even one of the judges’d been different, it would of been him, as Miss Mulhern reminded us on several occasions), then his position as best artist in school and my position in his shadow would of been retained. Coming second would of been easier – Miss Mulhern could be nice to me, put me in the box she’d already labelled. Winning knocked out her whole way of looking at things. I’d spent weeks stuck at the computer in Mr Lyons’ room and suddenly produced the goods, taking the prestigious prize away fae her star pupil. You could see how it would scunner her.
It made a big difference tae my family. Of course they’d known I was good at art, just like I was good at English or History, but Art was a frivolous subject, no something tae base your life choices on. But the cheque for a thousand quid changed that. Da couldnae believe it, kept shaking his heid in amazement and saying, You’ll need tae take care of this, Fiona , as if I was gonnae drop it in the street or accidentally tear itup or something. Janice took me out and helped me open a special savings account.
It seems a lot, but when you’re a student you’ll find it’ll be a real help .
The only person it didnae affect was Jas. I worried he’d be pissed aff I’d won the prize, kept watching him for signs of things changing between us, but there was nothing. He was just the same.
THE LAST WEEK of school everyone’s in party mood, looking forward tae the Christmas holidays. Hauf the weans have stopped coming and teachers keep the rest quiet with videos and chocolate. As I walk alang the corridor laughter and music spill fae every classroom.
It’s Mammy’s anniversary.
She died on the 19th of December and it took all Janice and Patrick’s determination and organisation to get her buried by Christmas Eve. Sudden deaths cause confusion, sudden deaths mean post mortems, new lairs being opened, but my Mammy’s … a sudden death where a birth had been expected. Two deaths in one.
Voices on the phone, expecting good news.
A boy or a wee lassie?
What’s the weight?
Who does she look like?
Then the voices trailing aff intae silence.
Janice, list in haund, gaun through the details wi my da. Maist of the time he didnae seem tae care or even hear her, but noo and again he’d dig his heels in over something, made things mair difficult for her.
We can get the parish hall for after the funeral, Bobby. They’ll do sandwiches .
Geraldine wouldnae of wanted the parish hall .
It’s hard tae get anywhere else at this notice just before Christmas – every hotel’s booked up with office parties and Christmas dinners .
She hated the smell of stewed tea. She hated they pinnies the wee wifies wear .
Is there any particular hymn you want for the funeral? Father O’Hara’s coming round in half an hour .
Star of the Sea. When we’re walking out the chapel. And Janice … He grabbed her sleeve. I want her tae have white flowers fae the baby .
I hated the baby. Hated the wee white coffin placed next tae hers. Marguerite. Da said that was what she’d wanted to call the baby if it was a girl. A pearl.
‘Those are pearls that were his eyes.’
Nae wonder Shakespeare used that. Pearls are dead white.
Sitting in the front row of the chapel between Patrick and Mona, hatred rising in me as if all the blood in my body had boiled and risen intae steam, hatred concentrating itsel on that one wee white box, and the person inside who had killed my mammy.
Afterwards folk said how calm I was at the funeral, how I’d no shed a tear, how I’d kept gaun for my daddy, who’dshed enough tears for the whole lot of us, who’d wept and wailed his way through every hymn and every word of the service, who had to be helped doon the aisle, couldnae even take his turn tae carry the coffin.
Only
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