Read Online Before I Break by Alec John Belle - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Alec John Belle
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said quietly. “I didn’t expect this to happen. I thought…”
“Thought what? That people would honor your bravery? This isn’t the movies, kid.” Dad looked at Mom and she shook her head. “We want you to promise you’ll never see this Avery guy again.”
“What?” I asked. “Why? This wasn’t his fault—”
“He’s a bad influence on you,” my father went on. “Trust us when we say it’s for the best. Would you have done this you had ever become friends with him?”
Well, probably not, but that didn’t make it his fault, did it? I shook my head no and Dad stood up, going refrigerator. “We want you to stop seeing him, period. No ifs, ands or buts. Avery is gay, Cyril, and it’s not normal. They get in your head. Do you really want to spend the rest of eternity in hell for a guy you just met?”
The thought did scare me, I could admit that much. If it was true that you could go to hell for being gay, it had to be possible that we go to hell for supporting them too, and that was the last thing I wanted. My heart ached, but I really felt it to be true.
“You’re right,” I said. “You really are right…I just…I let him get to me. That’s all. I promise I won’t see him ever again.”
They both stared at me as if they couldn’t tell if I was telling the truth or not. I noticed that my mom didn’t say a thing the entire time, which was totally unusual for her. Dad finally said, “Go upstairs and get some sleep. Just remember what we said.”
They didn’t have to tell me twice. Walking up the stairs and closing my bedroom door behind me, I dropped on the bed and pulled out my phone, staring at Avery’s number. I knew what I had to, even if I didn’t like it.
I typed.
Remembering the scars I saw on his arms earlier that day, I realized that someone needed to know that he may have been in harm. Tomorrow I needed to tell someone.
No one knows the pain I hide,
But tonight I’ve finally made up my mind.
There’s nothing anyone can do
To save me from the world that’s full of likes of you.
I’m a bomb that’s counting down the time
Before I explode and leave this world behind.
Please don’t come when all is lost
Because I’m pretty sure I won’t be the last.
When Thursday morning came, I knew what I had to do but was absolutely terrified to do so. I promised Dad I would stay away from Avery—but this wasn’t necessarily getting near him. This was most likely going to save his life.
I pulled into the school parking lot when I saw Melissa running toward the car. She and I, though still on a break, were going to talk here and there. We didn’t hate each other, but she just needed time to see that I changed, and the worst part was, I didn’t really feel like I had changed at all. The car came to a stop and I opened my door to get out, and Melissa said, “How are you today?”
“Great,” I lied. “Listen, I need to get inside, okay? It’s important that I get to guidance this morning.”
“Are we still on for the plan this weekend?” she asked me, looking a little worried. Not that I could blame her, because I was honestly worried about a lot right now.
“I’m not sure,” I replied, stepping by her. “Text me if you need anything.” If she was upset, she didn’t say anything as I walked away.
Inside the building, there weren’t many people, because school didn’t open for nearly an hour. Most students preferred to stand outside in the courtyard and wait for the first bell, but Melissa and I spent a lot of time in the library last year during this hour. Heading down the hall, I turned into the guidance office, finding no one at the front desk. I took a seat in one of the comfy chairs they had and waited for someone to come.
I couldn’t stop thinking about the scars that Avery had. Usually when someone had scars like that, it meant they did it themselves. Why would Avery harm himself? And does he still do it? Questions were running
“Thought what? That people would honor your bravery? This isn’t the movies, kid.” Dad looked at Mom and she shook her head. “We want you to promise you’ll never see this Avery guy again.”
“What?” I asked. “Why? This wasn’t his fault—”
“He’s a bad influence on you,” my father went on. “Trust us when we say it’s for the best. Would you have done this you had ever become friends with him?”
Well, probably not, but that didn’t make it his fault, did it? I shook my head no and Dad stood up, going refrigerator. “We want you to stop seeing him, period. No ifs, ands or buts. Avery is gay, Cyril, and it’s not normal. They get in your head. Do you really want to spend the rest of eternity in hell for a guy you just met?”
The thought did scare me, I could admit that much. If it was true that you could go to hell for being gay, it had to be possible that we go to hell for supporting them too, and that was the last thing I wanted. My heart ached, but I really felt it to be true.
“You’re right,” I said. “You really are right…I just…I let him get to me. That’s all. I promise I won’t see him ever again.”
They both stared at me as if they couldn’t tell if I was telling the truth or not. I noticed that my mom didn’t say a thing the entire time, which was totally unusual for her. Dad finally said, “Go upstairs and get some sleep. Just remember what we said.”
They didn’t have to tell me twice. Walking up the stairs and closing my bedroom door behind me, I dropped on the bed and pulled out my phone, staring at Avery’s number. I knew what I had to, even if I didn’t like it.
I typed.
Remembering the scars I saw on his arms earlier that day, I realized that someone needed to know that he may have been in harm. Tomorrow I needed to tell someone.
No one knows the pain I hide,
But tonight I’ve finally made up my mind.
There’s nothing anyone can do
To save me from the world that’s full of likes of you.
I’m a bomb that’s counting down the time
Before I explode and leave this world behind.
Please don’t come when all is lost
Because I’m pretty sure I won’t be the last.
When Thursday morning came, I knew what I had to do but was absolutely terrified to do so. I promised Dad I would stay away from Avery—but this wasn’t necessarily getting near him. This was most likely going to save his life.
I pulled into the school parking lot when I saw Melissa running toward the car. She and I, though still on a break, were going to talk here and there. We didn’t hate each other, but she just needed time to see that I changed, and the worst part was, I didn’t really feel like I had changed at all. The car came to a stop and I opened my door to get out, and Melissa said, “How are you today?”
“Great,” I lied. “Listen, I need to get inside, okay? It’s important that I get to guidance this morning.”
“Are we still on for the plan this weekend?” she asked me, looking a little worried. Not that I could blame her, because I was honestly worried about a lot right now.
“I’m not sure,” I replied, stepping by her. “Text me if you need anything.” If she was upset, she didn’t say anything as I walked away.
Inside the building, there weren’t many people, because school didn’t open for nearly an hour. Most students preferred to stand outside in the courtyard and wait for the first bell, but Melissa and I spent a lot of time in the library last year during this hour. Heading down the hall, I turned into the guidance office, finding no one at the front desk. I took a seat in one of the comfy chairs they had and waited for someone to come.
I couldn’t stop thinking about the scars that Avery had. Usually when someone had scars like that, it meant they did it themselves. Why would Avery harm himself? And does he still do it? Questions were running
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