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Authors: Amy Ellis Nutt
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Association more than thirty years ago. Basically, they are a set of medical protocols clinicians follow for patients seeking hormonal and surgical transition to the opposite gender of their birth. This was all fascinating and new for Kelly. Now if she could just find someone, some doctor, who could do all that for Wyatt. Kelly went out and picked up a copy of Jenny Boylan’s book.
“She’d be a great role model for Wyatt,” she said to Wayne one day.
“Uh-huh.” Wayne had heard Kelly but didn’t want to discuss it.
Kelly left Boylan’s book on the coffee table for a few days, hoping Wayne might pick it up. He didn’t. Then she moved the book to the bathroom. That seemed to do the trick. The book disappeared, but Wayne didn’t say a thing. Clearly he wasn’t ready to talk about it yet.
For the twins’ seventh birthday, Kelly thought she’d finally found a toy both boys would enjoy. She’d noticed Wyatt engrossed by some action hero cartoon on TV one day and had made a mental note. In October, at the birthday party, Wyatt and Jonas both unwrapped a slew of action figures. Jonas loved them. Wyatt was disconsolate. Kelly couldn’t figure it out. Finally, she asked him, didn’t he like watching the action figure cartoon on television every day? Yes, he said, but what he really liked was the pretty house the action heroes lived in.
That was it for Kelly. Her last doubt about whether Wyatt might be transgender was gone. When she’d first come across the word in her research she’d put off talking about it too much with Wayne. She hadn’t wanted to label Wyatt, to pigeonhole him, at least not at this stage in his life. How does a child this young know if he’s really a girl? Up until Wyatt’s seventh birthday she’d thought there was always the chance he might outgrow this. And in truth, she didn’t care if he outgrew it. She just wanted to do right by her son. So she’d quickly become an expert in analyzing other parents’ kids, looking for signs of passing phases in their behavior, such as the friend’s child who painted his fingernails, or the one who liked to wear his sister’s slip. But the behavior in those other boys was never really consistent, certainly not in the way it was with Wyatt. He wanted to wear dresses, be a princess, play Wendy in
Peter Pan
all the time, day and night. Sure, he also liked wrestling and was an athletic kid, but his sense of himself, the toys he played with the longest, the subjects of his fantasies, and the characters he playacted, were always female. Kelly didn’t know any other boy who so consistently thought and acted like he was a girl.
Most of all, she was upset she’d failed Wyatt on his birthday of all days. Screw this, she said to herself, I will never again buy him something just because Wayne thinks that’s what he should play with. It was all just too mean. The next day she went out and bought Wyatt the Ariel Playset he fervently wanted, and every Wendy, Cinderella, and Dorothy toy she could find.
CHAPTER 8
A Boy-Girl
H alfway through Jonas and Wyatt’s first-grade year at Asa C. Adams Elementary School, the family was throttled by bad news. A lingering cold in January 2004 had finally pushed Kelly to make an appointment with her primary care doctor. During the physical examination the doctor felt a small lump or nodule on Kelly’s thyroid. Typically these are tumor-shaped collections of benign cells, the doctor told her, but Kelly, who was forty-three, knew enough to be deeply frightened. At the time, she was helping a friend deal with a second bout of thyroid cancer. The woman had only just recovered from her first go-round the year before; now she faced deeply invasive surgery that would gouge out part of her neck.
The thyroid is a butterfly-shaped gland located in the lower front portion of the neck. Its job is to secrete hormones into the blood to help the body’s brain, heart, muscles, and other organs stay warm and functioning. Between 85
“She’d be a great role model for Wyatt,” she said to Wayne one day.
“Uh-huh.” Wayne had heard Kelly but didn’t want to discuss it.
Kelly left Boylan’s book on the coffee table for a few days, hoping Wayne might pick it up. He didn’t. Then she moved the book to the bathroom. That seemed to do the trick. The book disappeared, but Wayne didn’t say a thing. Clearly he wasn’t ready to talk about it yet.
For the twins’ seventh birthday, Kelly thought she’d finally found a toy both boys would enjoy. She’d noticed Wyatt engrossed by some action hero cartoon on TV one day and had made a mental note. In October, at the birthday party, Wyatt and Jonas both unwrapped a slew of action figures. Jonas loved them. Wyatt was disconsolate. Kelly couldn’t figure it out. Finally, she asked him, didn’t he like watching the action figure cartoon on television every day? Yes, he said, but what he really liked was the pretty house the action heroes lived in.
That was it for Kelly. Her last doubt about whether Wyatt might be transgender was gone. When she’d first come across the word in her research she’d put off talking about it too much with Wayne. She hadn’t wanted to label Wyatt, to pigeonhole him, at least not at this stage in his life. How does a child this young know if he’s really a girl? Up until Wyatt’s seventh birthday she’d thought there was always the chance he might outgrow this. And in truth, she didn’t care if he outgrew it. She just wanted to do right by her son. So she’d quickly become an expert in analyzing other parents’ kids, looking for signs of passing phases in their behavior, such as the friend’s child who painted his fingernails, or the one who liked to wear his sister’s slip. But the behavior in those other boys was never really consistent, certainly not in the way it was with Wyatt. He wanted to wear dresses, be a princess, play Wendy in
Peter Pan
all the time, day and night. Sure, he also liked wrestling and was an athletic kid, but his sense of himself, the toys he played with the longest, the subjects of his fantasies, and the characters he playacted, were always female. Kelly didn’t know any other boy who so consistently thought and acted like he was a girl.
Most of all, she was upset she’d failed Wyatt on his birthday of all days. Screw this, she said to herself, I will never again buy him something just because Wayne thinks that’s what he should play with. It was all just too mean. The next day she went out and bought Wyatt the Ariel Playset he fervently wanted, and every Wendy, Cinderella, and Dorothy toy she could find.
CHAPTER 8
A Boy-Girl
H alfway through Jonas and Wyatt’s first-grade year at Asa C. Adams Elementary School, the family was throttled by bad news. A lingering cold in January 2004 had finally pushed Kelly to make an appointment with her primary care doctor. During the physical examination the doctor felt a small lump or nodule on Kelly’s thyroid. Typically these are tumor-shaped collections of benign cells, the doctor told her, but Kelly, who was forty-three, knew enough to be deeply frightened. At the time, she was helping a friend deal with a second bout of thyroid cancer. The woman had only just recovered from her first go-round the year before; now she faced deeply invasive surgery that would gouge out part of her neck.
The thyroid is a butterfly-shaped gland located in the lower front portion of the neck. Its job is to secrete hormones into the blood to help the body’s brain, heart, muscles, and other organs stay warm and functioning. Between 85
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