Read Online Beautiful Secret (Beautiful Bastard #4) by Christina Lauren - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Christina Lauren
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laughed again, this time pointing his drink at me. “Blokes don’t notice these things unless they’re interested .”
“Or George,” Will added, and George reached over to grab the back of his neck and try to pull him infor a kiss.
“Well, it’s apparent I needn’t think on this any further,” I said. “You’ve all decided for me.”
“It’s what we do,” Will said, adjusting the skewed collar of his shirt as he settled back into his chair. “It’s a sickness, we know.”
“I thought we’d lost that muscle, honestly,” George said.
“It’s a relief to know we still have it in us. The ladies will be so proud.” Max rapped his knuckles on the table as he made to stand. “Alas, I’d best be off. New routine: Sara gets the baby to sleep; I do the midnight bottle feeding.”
“Finally taking a bottle from you then? Guess you smell like a woman, too,” I said to Max, reminding him of the little dig he’d thrown my way on my last visit.
Max laughed and patted me on the back, and we all stood, a silent agreement in place that we were ready to call it a night. I watched my brother gather his things and say his goodbyes, feeling the same mix of pride and longing for what he was headed home to: a wife, a daughter. A proper home.
“Kiss the girls for me,” I requested as he made his way out of the bar. He waved a hand, retreating, and then disappeared from view. The hotel bar felt completely deserted, silent in an immediate way now that the four men had left.
I wanted to put a better name to the longing I felt watching him go. It wasn’t tinged with envy or bitterness over my own circumstances. It was that I’d realized, when visiting Max and Sara only weeks ago, that I knew what I wanted—stability, a wife, a family—but now I was so far behind.I’d never been great with change, and it was daunting to face the prospect of altering my expectations about life and my future post-divorce.
I hadn’t realized until now how I’d put off even thinking about what life looked like from here on out and how to make it what I wanted. I’d simply hit pause. For seven months I’d neatly plowed ahead: diving into work, into footie and rowing on the weekend, the occasional evenings out with my mates, Archie and Ian.
But to get what I wanted, I’d need to put myself out there and meet someone.
And now, through the power of suggestion—from Tony, from Max and Will and Bennett, even George—or maybe simply from being in the presence of a hypnotically beautiful and sweet woman, my mind immediately wondered if Ruby could be the type of woman I’d date.
But I didn’t want to move toward Ruby simply because others thought I should, or because I had a space to fill in my life. Of course I found her attractive and—in the private spaces of my mind—could easily imagine having a go.
Could I ever be in a relationship with passion and honesty, with a degree of loyalty I’d never felt from Portia? My loyalty had always been first to her, but hers had never wavered from her parents, leaving me a distant second. It hadn’t struck me as off, but in hindsight I knew it meant we would never have been able to be true partners in our marriage.
In the past year or two I’dcome to realize I’d been resigned to Portia as my lot simply because she carried so much of my history with hers. But, despite my hesitation and oft-noted reserve, I was raised in a house of passion, and children, and the most absurd sort of adventure. Though I wasn’t the one to pull the trigger on spontaneity and wildness, I needed it around me in the passive way that we also need air, or warmth.
Ruby’s mischievous face lingered in my thoughts as I took the lift to our floor.
It seemed as though she was placed in front of me at the perfect time. Not necessarily so I could approach her romantically, but so I could gain perspective on how many different types of women were out there—and that they weren’t all like Portia.
The process
“Or George,” Will added, and George reached over to grab the back of his neck and try to pull him infor a kiss.
“Well, it’s apparent I needn’t think on this any further,” I said. “You’ve all decided for me.”
“It’s what we do,” Will said, adjusting the skewed collar of his shirt as he settled back into his chair. “It’s a sickness, we know.”
“I thought we’d lost that muscle, honestly,” George said.
“It’s a relief to know we still have it in us. The ladies will be so proud.” Max rapped his knuckles on the table as he made to stand. “Alas, I’d best be off. New routine: Sara gets the baby to sleep; I do the midnight bottle feeding.”
“Finally taking a bottle from you then? Guess you smell like a woman, too,” I said to Max, reminding him of the little dig he’d thrown my way on my last visit.
Max laughed and patted me on the back, and we all stood, a silent agreement in place that we were ready to call it a night. I watched my brother gather his things and say his goodbyes, feeling the same mix of pride and longing for what he was headed home to: a wife, a daughter. A proper home.
“Kiss the girls for me,” I requested as he made his way out of the bar. He waved a hand, retreating, and then disappeared from view. The hotel bar felt completely deserted, silent in an immediate way now that the four men had left.
I wanted to put a better name to the longing I felt watching him go. It wasn’t tinged with envy or bitterness over my own circumstances. It was that I’d realized, when visiting Max and Sara only weeks ago, that I knew what I wanted—stability, a wife, a family—but now I was so far behind.I’d never been great with change, and it was daunting to face the prospect of altering my expectations about life and my future post-divorce.
I hadn’t realized until now how I’d put off even thinking about what life looked like from here on out and how to make it what I wanted. I’d simply hit pause. For seven months I’d neatly plowed ahead: diving into work, into footie and rowing on the weekend, the occasional evenings out with my mates, Archie and Ian.
But to get what I wanted, I’d need to put myself out there and meet someone.
And now, through the power of suggestion—from Tony, from Max and Will and Bennett, even George—or maybe simply from being in the presence of a hypnotically beautiful and sweet woman, my mind immediately wondered if Ruby could be the type of woman I’d date.
But I didn’t want to move toward Ruby simply because others thought I should, or because I had a space to fill in my life. Of course I found her attractive and—in the private spaces of my mind—could easily imagine having a go.
Could I ever be in a relationship with passion and honesty, with a degree of loyalty I’d never felt from Portia? My loyalty had always been first to her, but hers had never wavered from her parents, leaving me a distant second. It hadn’t struck me as off, but in hindsight I knew it meant we would never have been able to be true partners in our marriage.
In the past year or two I’dcome to realize I’d been resigned to Portia as my lot simply because she carried so much of my history with hers. But, despite my hesitation and oft-noted reserve, I was raised in a house of passion, and children, and the most absurd sort of adventure. Though I wasn’t the one to pull the trigger on spontaneity and wildness, I needed it around me in the passive way that we also need air, or warmth.
Ruby’s mischievous face lingered in my thoughts as I took the lift to our floor.
It seemed as though she was placed in front of me at the perfect time. Not necessarily so I could approach her romantically, but so I could gain perspective on how many different types of women were out there—and that they weren’t all like Portia.
The process
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