did. She held out her arms and drew me into them because, for the first time, I was the one who was crying.
When I got home, all the lights were out, but I still didn’t go inside. I sat down on the porch and watched the fireflies
blinkingin the dark. I didn’t want to see anyone. I wanted to think, and I had a feeling Lena wouldn’t be listening. There’s something
about sitting alone in the dark that reminds you how big the world really is, and how far apart we all are. The stars look
like they’re so close, you could reach out and touch them. But you can’t. Sometimes things look a lot closer than they are.
I stared into the darkness for so long that I thought I saw something move by the old oak in our front yard. For a second,
my pulse quickened. Most people in Gatlin didn’t even lock their doors, but I knew there were plenty of things that could
get past a deadbolt. I saw the air shift again, almost imperceptibly, like a heat wave. I realized it wasn’t something trying
to break into my house. It was something that had broken out from another one.
Lucille, the Sisters’ cat. I could see her blue eyes shining in the darkness as she stalked onto the porch.
“I told everyone you’d find your way back to the house sooner or later. You just found the wrong house.” Lucille cocked her
head to the side. “You know the Sisters are never gonna let you off that clothesline again after this.”
Lucille stared back at me as if she understood perfectly. As if she had known the consequences when she took off but, for
whatever reason, she left anyway. A firefly blinked in front of me, and Lucille leaped off the step.
It flew higher, but that dumb cat kept reaching for it. She didn’t seem to know how far away it really was. Like the stars.
Like a lot of things.
6.12
The Girl of My Dreams
D arkness.
I couldn’t see a thing, but I could feel the air draining out of my lungs. I couldn’t breathe. The air was filled with smoke,
and I was coughing, choking.
Ethan!
I could hear her voice, but it was distant and faraway.
The air around me was hot. It smelled like ash and death.
Ethan, no!
I saw the glint of a knife, over my head, and I heard the sinister laughter. Sarafine. Only I couldn’t see her face.
As the knife plunged into my stomach, I knew where I was.
I was at Greenbrier, on top of the crypt, and I was about to die.
I tried to scream, but I couldn’t make a sound. Sarafine threw back her head and laughed, her hands on the knife in mystomach. I was dying, and she was laughing. The blood was running all around me, rushing into my ears, my nostrils, my mouth.
It had a distinct taste, like copper or salt.
My lungs felt like two heaving sacks of cement. When the rush of blood in my ears drowned out her voice, I was overwhelmed
with the familiar feeling of loss. Green and gold. Lemons and rosemary. I could smell it through the blood, the smoke, and
the ashes. Lena.
I always thought I couldn’t live without her. Now I wasn’t going to have to.
“Ethan Wate! Why don’t I hear that shower runnin’ yet?” I bolted upright in bed, drenched in sweat. I ran my hand under my
T-shirt, over my skin. There was no blood, but I could feel the raised impression where the knife had cut me in the dream.
I pulled up my shirt and stared at the jagged pink line. A scar cut across my lower abdomen, like a stab wound. It had appeared
out of nowhere, an injury from a dream.
Only it was real, and it hurt. I hadn’t had one of the dreams since Lena’s birthday, and I didn’t know why they were coming
back now, like this. I was used to waking up with mud in my bed or smoke in my lungs, but this was the first time I had ever
woken up in pain. I tried to shake it off, telling myself it didn’t really happen. But my stomach throbbed. I stared at my
open window, wishing Macon was around to steal the end of this dream. I wished he was around for a lot of reasons.
I closed my eyes
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