to bed. I think it was four in the morning before anyone arrived from London. Next morning, I had breakfast on my own, and left for home about midday. The others were still in bed.
Brian agreed I could mention his homosexuality in the book, though, naturally, I was not going to go into any of the details.
The Beatles did not know the full story of this side of his life either. By the time I got to know him, he had become less of an influence on their lives anyway. Paul was busy taking over the organizational reins, setting up Apple, taking control of things like the cover for Sergeant Pepper .
They knew he was homosexual, but that was all. John was the only one I discussed it with, as he was quite interested, butPaul I think was upset by it. Brian realized this and was always especially concerned about pleasing Paul, giving him the biggest presents. Brian’s staff told me that he worried most about keeping in with Paul and always answered his calls first.
John told me he had had a one-night stand with Brian, on a holiday with him in Spain, when Brian had invited him out, a few days after the birth of Julian in 1963, leaving Cyn alone. I mentioned this brief holiday in the book, but not what John had alleged had taken place. Partly, I didn’t really believe it, though John was daft enough to try almost anything once. John was certainly not homosexual, and this boast, or lie, would have given the wrong impression. It was also not fair on Cynthia, his then wife.
But by 1967, even John did not seem to have much connection with Brian. When I began to realize the extent of Brian’s tragic private life, I assumed it was partly the Beatles’ fault, edging him out of their lives, discarding him, leaving him without much purpose in life, perhaps helping to cause his terrible depressions. I probably hinted as much in the book. Now, with hindsight, I think the fault was in Brian. I underplayed the fact that he had been discharged from the army on medical and emotional grounds, after being referred to a psychiatrist. He had presented it to me rather as a joke, almost as if he had done it to get out of the army, which was how I reported it (see Chapter 15 ). It seems clear to me now that he should have had proper psychiatric help from a very early stage. In Liverpool, I did hear stories of certain incidents, but I could never get details.
It could be argued that the Beatles saved him from himself, prolonging his life, at least for those six years or so in which he threw himself into their career, using up all his energies and talents and emotions for their good. By 1967, he was back on his own again, and finding himself very difficult to live with.
The official report of his death in September 1967 said it was an accidental overdose, which I believe, though others have since tried to prove it was suicide, and some irresponsible writers have even hinted at murder, as there are still some missing facts aboutthe days before his death. Emotionally, it was suicide, even though I do not think he meant to do it at that time in that way. But I feel it would have happened, sooner rather than later.
I was with the Beatles in Bangor, North Wales, when they heard about Brian’s death. The whole weekend had been rather bizarre. Michael McCartney, Paul’s brother, had rung me the night before to tell me that they planned to go to somewhere in Wales to meet someone called the Maharishi. It had all begun with George, and his interest in Indian things, and he had persuaded the others to join him. Michael told me to be on the platform at Euston at a certain time for the Bangor train. It was bound to be a happening. Remember happenings? Very 1960s. I realized it would be the first time they had all gone anywhere as a group since their touring days. So that at least would be interesting to observe.
I travelled with them in their carriage, on Friday, 25 August 1967 – the four Beatles, plus Mick Jagger, Marianne Faithfull, all in their
Brian agreed I could mention his homosexuality in the book, though, naturally, I was not going to go into any of the details.
The Beatles did not know the full story of this side of his life either. By the time I got to know him, he had become less of an influence on their lives anyway. Paul was busy taking over the organizational reins, setting up Apple, taking control of things like the cover for Sergeant Pepper .
They knew he was homosexual, but that was all. John was the only one I discussed it with, as he was quite interested, butPaul I think was upset by it. Brian realized this and was always especially concerned about pleasing Paul, giving him the biggest presents. Brian’s staff told me that he worried most about keeping in with Paul and always answered his calls first.
John told me he had had a one-night stand with Brian, on a holiday with him in Spain, when Brian had invited him out, a few days after the birth of Julian in 1963, leaving Cyn alone. I mentioned this brief holiday in the book, but not what John had alleged had taken place. Partly, I didn’t really believe it, though John was daft enough to try almost anything once. John was certainly not homosexual, and this boast, or lie, would have given the wrong impression. It was also not fair on Cynthia, his then wife.
But by 1967, even John did not seem to have much connection with Brian. When I began to realize the extent of Brian’s tragic private life, I assumed it was partly the Beatles’ fault, edging him out of their lives, discarding him, leaving him without much purpose in life, perhaps helping to cause his terrible depressions. I probably hinted as much in the book. Now, with hindsight, I think the fault was in Brian. I underplayed the fact that he had been discharged from the army on medical and emotional grounds, after being referred to a psychiatrist. He had presented it to me rather as a joke, almost as if he had done it to get out of the army, which was how I reported it (see Chapter 15 ). It seems clear to me now that he should have had proper psychiatric help from a very early stage. In Liverpool, I did hear stories of certain incidents, but I could never get details.
It could be argued that the Beatles saved him from himself, prolonging his life, at least for those six years or so in which he threw himself into their career, using up all his energies and talents and emotions for their good. By 1967, he was back on his own again, and finding himself very difficult to live with.
The official report of his death in September 1967 said it was an accidental overdose, which I believe, though others have since tried to prove it was suicide, and some irresponsible writers have even hinted at murder, as there are still some missing facts aboutthe days before his death. Emotionally, it was suicide, even though I do not think he meant to do it at that time in that way. But I feel it would have happened, sooner rather than later.
I was with the Beatles in Bangor, North Wales, when they heard about Brian’s death. The whole weekend had been rather bizarre. Michael McCartney, Paul’s brother, had rung me the night before to tell me that they planned to go to somewhere in Wales to meet someone called the Maharishi. It had all begun with George, and his interest in Indian things, and he had persuaded the others to join him. Michael told me to be on the platform at Euston at a certain time for the Bangor train. It was bound to be a happening. Remember happenings? Very 1960s. I realized it would be the first time they had all gone anywhere as a group since their touring days. So that at least would be interesting to observe.
I travelled with them in their carriage, on Friday, 25 August 1967 – the four Beatles, plus Mick Jagger, Marianne Faithfull, all in their
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