arduous, but there was no point in worrying because it had to happen. And if his barrier broke down again, he could rebuild it once more. He might even get better in the process.
He found comfort in the feeling of Jessend’s arms holding on to him, knowing she felt the same way he did. The Princess wrapped her legs around him as well.
His weeping calmed, his tears stopping with it. But he still could feel her hot tears rolling onto his shoulder as she nestled her head into him. She didn’t seem to be recovering in the same way he was.
“Don’t hate yourself,” he told her. “I feel the same hatred, so it must be normal.”
Her sniffles came to a stop.
“We have all night,” Cleve said. “You tell me everything you can remember about him, and I’ll tell you everything I can remember about my parents, no matter how painful. We’ll get it all out.”
Finally feeling comfortable with their death, Cleve wanted to remember everything he could about them. He’d never felt this way before—wanting nothing more than to speak about his mother and father.
She kissed him on the cheek. It was hard and tender at the same time, like that from a mother or sister who’d been gone for too long and had just come home.
“I can think of nothing in the world that would be better than that right now,” she said.
Cleve lost track of the hours.
It wasn’t until the sun was up that they finally fell asleep cuddled close together.
His last thought was of her hands. He’d spent a lot of time touching them that night, and he couldn’t help but still think of them as childlike. They were so small in his grasp, unnervingly fragile. They gave him strength when he thought of his own body compared to hers. How could someone like him be so easily broken?
But he was. Within himself, he felt the same fragility as he did about her hands. He knew it was the barrier he would need to rebuild. And he looked forward to it—after he rested.
Chapter 5
Cleve awoke from a soft knocking at the door.
A murmur came through. “Lady Jessend?”
Jessend grumbled and turned away from Cleve and the direction of the door.
The knocking continued. “Lady Jessend?” The voice was louder this time.
Cleve shook her shoulder. “Someone’s at the door.”
“See what they want,” Jessend replied with a demanding tone.
Not a morning person, Cleve thought, pulling the sheets off him.
He noticed Jessend petulantly grabbing the sheet that slipped off her shoulder and throwing it over her head as he went for the door.
A pale servant girl had her eyes at Cleve’s chest when he opened it. Startled, she looked up to find his face and her cheeks became flushed.
“Oh, I…” With wide eyes, she turned her head down in an obvious manner to look away.
Cleve was surprised by how young she was, probably thirteen, he guessed.
“I didn’t know there would be a…” She scratched her neck. “A guest.”
“Is there something you need from Jessend?” Cleve asked.
Jessend shouted before the poor girl could answer. “What do you want Gerace?”
“Your father asked me to dress you and bring you to him. Kasko Lage has announced he’ll be visiting soon.”
“Tell my father I’m sick.” Jessend faked a cough.
“He said you would say that. And he told me to tell you…” Gerace swallowed hard. “May I come in, my lady?”
“What did he tell you to tell me?” Jessend sat up, her wild hair a mess across her face and shoulders.
“I’d rather not repeat it.”
Cleve thought he should put some pants on and left the doorway to do so.
Jessend jumped from the bed. “One moment.” She threw the door shut and gave Cleve her eye. “Please don’t leave me alone with him.”
“With who?”
“Kasko. I want you to be there when I have to meet him. I need you to see what he’s like.”
“Why?” Cleve already was thinking of excuses.
“So you know what you’re protecting me from. He’s the man I’m to marry if I don’t
He found comfort in the feeling of Jessend’s arms holding on to him, knowing she felt the same way he did. The Princess wrapped her legs around him as well.
His weeping calmed, his tears stopping with it. But he still could feel her hot tears rolling onto his shoulder as she nestled her head into him. She didn’t seem to be recovering in the same way he was.
“Don’t hate yourself,” he told her. “I feel the same hatred, so it must be normal.”
Her sniffles came to a stop.
“We have all night,” Cleve said. “You tell me everything you can remember about him, and I’ll tell you everything I can remember about my parents, no matter how painful. We’ll get it all out.”
Finally feeling comfortable with their death, Cleve wanted to remember everything he could about them. He’d never felt this way before—wanting nothing more than to speak about his mother and father.
She kissed him on the cheek. It was hard and tender at the same time, like that from a mother or sister who’d been gone for too long and had just come home.
“I can think of nothing in the world that would be better than that right now,” she said.
Cleve lost track of the hours.
It wasn’t until the sun was up that they finally fell asleep cuddled close together.
His last thought was of her hands. He’d spent a lot of time touching them that night, and he couldn’t help but still think of them as childlike. They were so small in his grasp, unnervingly fragile. They gave him strength when he thought of his own body compared to hers. How could someone like him be so easily broken?
But he was. Within himself, he felt the same fragility as he did about her hands. He knew it was the barrier he would need to rebuild. And he looked forward to it—after he rested.
Chapter 5
Cleve awoke from a soft knocking at the door.
A murmur came through. “Lady Jessend?”
Jessend grumbled and turned away from Cleve and the direction of the door.
The knocking continued. “Lady Jessend?” The voice was louder this time.
Cleve shook her shoulder. “Someone’s at the door.”
“See what they want,” Jessend replied with a demanding tone.
Not a morning person, Cleve thought, pulling the sheets off him.
He noticed Jessend petulantly grabbing the sheet that slipped off her shoulder and throwing it over her head as he went for the door.
A pale servant girl had her eyes at Cleve’s chest when he opened it. Startled, she looked up to find his face and her cheeks became flushed.
“Oh, I…” With wide eyes, she turned her head down in an obvious manner to look away.
Cleve was surprised by how young she was, probably thirteen, he guessed.
“I didn’t know there would be a…” She scratched her neck. “A guest.”
“Is there something you need from Jessend?” Cleve asked.
Jessend shouted before the poor girl could answer. “What do you want Gerace?”
“Your father asked me to dress you and bring you to him. Kasko Lage has announced he’ll be visiting soon.”
“Tell my father I’m sick.” Jessend faked a cough.
“He said you would say that. And he told me to tell you…” Gerace swallowed hard. “May I come in, my lady?”
“What did he tell you to tell me?” Jessend sat up, her wild hair a mess across her face and shoulders.
“I’d rather not repeat it.”
Cleve thought he should put some pants on and left the doorway to do so.
Jessend jumped from the bed. “One moment.” She threw the door shut and gave Cleve her eye. “Please don’t leave me alone with him.”
“With who?”
“Kasko. I want you to be there when I have to meet him. I need you to see what he’s like.”
“Why?” Cleve already was thinking of excuses.
“So you know what you’re protecting me from. He’s the man I’m to marry if I don’t
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