who’s in charge. Like, hey, you don’t run that shit without our okay, okay? Yeah, but dope’s trickier for everyone involved, is the thing. So we just gotta be sneaky about it. Sneak our way into his room. 306.
Kieron hears all this.
He ain’t going near that much H. Temptation’s too serious. Twenty goddamn grand. He could drown in the shit for a month. Not like he hasn’t thought about just that. And where would he dump it? Can’t launder the crap like missing jewels. He wouldn’t know where to begin.
Kieron gets busy cleaning glasses.
Gotta push the idea of swimming in dope from his brain.
***
Kieron turns off the lights. Pulls the metal shutters down. Locks the bar up. Walks over to the apartment building door. Meanders up the steps with a bottle of Jameson. A cigarette behind his ear.
Everything feels wrong. There’s a pain in his chest and he starts to wonder if he’s gonna have a heart attack... The robbery. The cops are gonna be looking at him. The two in the goddamn bar tonight. Sarah. The shit with the ring. The bills he’s always under.
He’s gotta talk to Sarah. Gotta tell her she can’t be wearing that thing around.
He just... Holy shit, he needs to figure out how to phrase it.
She’s gonna ask questions.
***
He tells Sarah, “Cuz I robbed an old lady, is why.” Not even thinking or asking how much she got at the pawnshop for the stolen bauble. Cuz his brain’s not working right. Neither are his emotions.
Dawn creeps across the streets outside.
Half the bottle of whiskey’s gone. That spells trouble in any language.
Sarah says, “You’re fuckin shitting— ” She looks toward Aaron’s closed door. The boy’s asleep. She whispers through her teeth: “You’re fuckin shitting me .”
“I ain’t. My grandma died, like, fifteen years ago. It ain’t her stuff. I’m sorry. I needed... This whole stack of letters on the table? It’s bills. It’s all Aaron’s bills. You know that. I was desperate. I couldn’t think of a way to get rid of this. I don’t have the money.”
“You couldn’t think of a way other than robbing some poor lady around the corner.”
“No I... It all just kinda fell together. And then I was doing it. Shit was just, like, man. Man, it was happening. I wasn’t thinking. I just did it.”
“Never considered a goddamn bank loan?”
“The fuck bank is gonna give a guy like me money?”
“You’re an asshole.”
“I am an asshole. I’m sorry.”
“ Sorry doesn’t change the fact that I signed my identity to those stolen bits of pretty shit sitting in a pawnshop now. They have my name , Kieron. My picture. That old lady comes around with cops and I’m fucked. I’m fucked. Not you.”
“I’m sorry, I’ll—”
“And you let me do it . Jesus Christ. You asked me to do it. You fucker . You knew I was gonna be putting my ass out there. You didn’t care .”
Sarah wants to scream but can’t. She knows Aaron needs to get some sleep. In spite of the horrendous betrayal she feels from the boy’s father.
Kieron doesn’t have those concerns in his head.
He’s very drunk. Very scared. Very frustrated.
He wants to stop feeling like such a goddamn loser.
He snaps. His brain locks gears. He yells. “Watch your fuckin mouth, Rebecca.”
Sarah stops. A confused look takes over her face. Like she’s gonna sneeze but can’t commit. “Who—”
“Sarah, I mean.” Shit . “My whole life— my whole life —I’ve fucked up. Do you have any idea what I’ve seen? What I’ve done? The hoops I jumped through and the people I sent up to keep my kid and get his dumb cunt mother out of our life?
“Do you have any fuckin idea? ”
Sarah backs away from him. From this nuclear explosion happening in front of her. She shakes her head.
He says, “Well I’ll tell you . I’ll tell you. From a guy who remembers watching his drug dealer fuck his passed-the-fuck-out junkie shitball ex. From a guy who was so desperate to
Kieron hears all this.
He ain’t going near that much H. Temptation’s too serious. Twenty goddamn grand. He could drown in the shit for a month. Not like he hasn’t thought about just that. And where would he dump it? Can’t launder the crap like missing jewels. He wouldn’t know where to begin.
Kieron gets busy cleaning glasses.
Gotta push the idea of swimming in dope from his brain.
***
Kieron turns off the lights. Pulls the metal shutters down. Locks the bar up. Walks over to the apartment building door. Meanders up the steps with a bottle of Jameson. A cigarette behind his ear.
Everything feels wrong. There’s a pain in his chest and he starts to wonder if he’s gonna have a heart attack... The robbery. The cops are gonna be looking at him. The two in the goddamn bar tonight. Sarah. The shit with the ring. The bills he’s always under.
He’s gotta talk to Sarah. Gotta tell her she can’t be wearing that thing around.
He just... Holy shit, he needs to figure out how to phrase it.
She’s gonna ask questions.
***
He tells Sarah, “Cuz I robbed an old lady, is why.” Not even thinking or asking how much she got at the pawnshop for the stolen bauble. Cuz his brain’s not working right. Neither are his emotions.
Dawn creeps across the streets outside.
Half the bottle of whiskey’s gone. That spells trouble in any language.
Sarah says, “You’re fuckin shitting— ” She looks toward Aaron’s closed door. The boy’s asleep. She whispers through her teeth: “You’re fuckin shitting me .”
“I ain’t. My grandma died, like, fifteen years ago. It ain’t her stuff. I’m sorry. I needed... This whole stack of letters on the table? It’s bills. It’s all Aaron’s bills. You know that. I was desperate. I couldn’t think of a way to get rid of this. I don’t have the money.”
“You couldn’t think of a way other than robbing some poor lady around the corner.”
“No I... It all just kinda fell together. And then I was doing it. Shit was just, like, man. Man, it was happening. I wasn’t thinking. I just did it.”
“Never considered a goddamn bank loan?”
“The fuck bank is gonna give a guy like me money?”
“You’re an asshole.”
“I am an asshole. I’m sorry.”
“ Sorry doesn’t change the fact that I signed my identity to those stolen bits of pretty shit sitting in a pawnshop now. They have my name , Kieron. My picture. That old lady comes around with cops and I’m fucked. I’m fucked. Not you.”
“I’m sorry, I’ll—”
“And you let me do it . Jesus Christ. You asked me to do it. You fucker . You knew I was gonna be putting my ass out there. You didn’t care .”
Sarah wants to scream but can’t. She knows Aaron needs to get some sleep. In spite of the horrendous betrayal she feels from the boy’s father.
Kieron doesn’t have those concerns in his head.
He’s very drunk. Very scared. Very frustrated.
He wants to stop feeling like such a goddamn loser.
He snaps. His brain locks gears. He yells. “Watch your fuckin mouth, Rebecca.”
Sarah stops. A confused look takes over her face. Like she’s gonna sneeze but can’t commit. “Who—”
“Sarah, I mean.” Shit . “My whole life— my whole life —I’ve fucked up. Do you have any idea what I’ve seen? What I’ve done? The hoops I jumped through and the people I sent up to keep my kid and get his dumb cunt mother out of our life?
“Do you have any fuckin idea? ”
Sarah backs away from him. From this nuclear explosion happening in front of her. She shakes her head.
He says, “Well I’ll tell you . I’ll tell you. From a guy who remembers watching his drug dealer fuck his passed-the-fuck-out junkie shitball ex. From a guy who was so desperate to
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