separated us deliberately? What if this is some weird devil-guy ritual to separate women until we fall in love with our captors or something?
Because I’m pretty sure Hassen isn’t looking for a Charades partner.
That’s why I need to leave. Because even though it’s crazy-stupid to trek out into the wild on my own, it feels even more crazy-stupid to stay and just hope he remains a gentleman the whole time. I’m not that dumb. He’s got all the power and I have none, not even a knife.
Like it or not, I’ve got to ditch my zero and become my own hero.
Hassen returns to the cave about mid-morning, like he always does. He brings in a freshly-caught kill, like he always does, and finishes butchering it by the fire. Then, he stokes the flames higher so he can cook my portion.
I go and sit across from the fire with him because I want to watch how he makes it. I need to know how to make a fire if I’m going to survive. Actually, I need to know how to do an overwhelming list of things, but I’m trying not to worry about that. One thing at a time.
Hassen is poking at the coals with a stick - no, wait, a bone, a really long, curved one - and when he stirs them up, he then crumbles something that looks like dried poop and pushes it into the coals. He leans down to blow on them, and when he looks up, our eyes make contact. Crap.
I see a smug smile curve his mouth and it bugs me, because now he’s going to think he’s wearing me down. So arrogant. He feeds a few more bits of the springy, pale wood to the fire, then washes his hands before returning to butchering his kill. I’m glad I have a strong stomach, because the sight of him hacking at that poor critter makes it tough to have an appetite.
He pulls a juicy (ugh) bit free and I’m pretty sure he’s going to offer it to me again. I’ve noticed that he eats his meat raw and it wigs me out a little. Instead of handing it to me, though, he leans over and tries to feed it to me.
I slap his hand away.
The chunk of meat goes flying across the cave.
We stare at each other, shocked. My heart thunders in my chest, terrified. What’s he going to do now that I’ve lashed out at him? Is he going to hit me back? Hold me down and force-feed me?
His eyes narrow in my direction, and it takes everything I have to remain still. Hassen slowly gets to his feet and picks up the meat, then tosses it into the fire. The look on his face is stony, and my heart is beating a mile a minute.
This can’t go on.
I can’t keep slapping at him. And he’s not taking the hint.
I need to go. Now. Tonight. Soon. ASAP.
Hassen is sullen as he sets up the stew pouch tripod over the fire and adds a handful of snow, and then dumps in the meat he’s been cutting up. He gives me a resentful, why-can’t-you-see-how-generous-I-am look and then storms back out of the cave. I’ve clearly put him in a bad mood.
Time to go , my brain reminds me. Time to effing go.
I hesitate.
I’m scared.
If I go out there, it could be a death sentence. What if Maddie never finds me? What if I freeze to death? What if I can’t make a fire or find anything to eat or a million other things that can go wrong?
But what if I stay? Am I going to be stuck with just Hassen for the rest of my life? Is this the alien version of that story about the girl that lives in a secret room in the basement? Can I live utterly dependent on the jerk that stole me for the rest of my days and be okay with that?
What if the others are just over the next ridge and I haven’t even realized it?
I’ll never know unless I try. If worst comes to worst, Hassen will find me again and drag me back. Actually, worst comes to worst, I’ll turn into a human Popsicle. I guess there’s a sliding scale of ‘worst’ after all. But either way, I can’t stay. I return to my blankets and pull out the bone shiv I’ve sharpened, and grab my bag. I shove my feet into my boots hurriedly and lace them tight.
I move to the front of the cave and
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