Read Online Back to You by Leighton Rose - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Leighton Rose
Tags: Romance, Contemporary
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It’s just, you know me. I miss my baby boy. Maybe we can come down for a visit to see you again soon.” In the two years I’d been gone, my family had been down to visit me several times because I just couldn’t bring myself to go back to Lincoln. I think deep down they knew the reason why even though they never really brought it up.
“I know, Mama, I know. I’ll try to be better, I promise.” I realized that that was the same promise I’d had to make to Donny the previous night, and finding myself having to say it to my mother broke my heart. I really was a terrible person.
“Oh, you know we understand, Alex. We love you and just want you to be happy!” Best. Mother. Ever.
I felt the emotion welling up and had to swallow to clear the lump in my throat. I missed my family so much. “How’s Daddy and Ashton?” Yes, I was a twenty-two year old who still called his parents Mama and Daddy; it’s how I was raised and I had no intention of changing it because of some people’s perceptions.
“Oh, your father’s doing really well. Work is keeping him busy and he’s been doing a lot of late nights trying to prove he has what it takes to become VP at the bank. He’s got a really good shot at it and we should hear back within the next couple of weeks who’ll be selected. I’m pretty sure it will come down to your father and Hank, so we’ll see!” Hank was my father’s best friend at the bank so I was sure it’d been a bit stressful to be competing with him.
“And Ashton?” I asked.
Mama laughed. “Oh, you know your brother. He’s really taking advantage of every opportunity and experience senior year is offering. He’s got a new girlfriend every other week and I think this one’s name is Sara or Tara. I can’t really keep up with his social life anymore.”
Ashton was your typical all-American boy. He played football, basketball, and soccer, got good grades, had loads of friends, could get any girl that he wanted because of his good looks and muscles (I liked to think he got those from his big brother) and he was a true gentleman. I’d always been proud of him, but I felt extremely guilty for missing out on those important years with him. “Well, that’s good. I’m glad he’s enjoying himself this year. Has he started basketball yet?”
“Next week is district finals in football, and if they win they’ll make it to State. If not, then they’ll start basketball the week after. If you make it back in time, maybe you can see a game this year; he’s really hoping you can come to one since this is his last year playing.” Knife, meet heart.
“I’ll be there, Mama. I won’t let him down again.” I needed to start a list of all the things I sucked at being and at the top of the list would be boyfriend, son, and brother. Damn.
“So, I know you didn’t call me at eight in the morning on a Saturday to catch up on family gossip, baby. What’s wrong?” The kindness and caring in my mother’s voice almost broke me down but I resisted. Barely.
“I need some advice and you’re the only person I know I can count on to be objective and give it to me straight.”
“Of course, sweetie. What’s up?”
I sighed deeply and then relayed to her all of the things that had been going on. I told her how I felt and about the realization I’d made in the shower that morning. I told her about my feelings for Donny and how much I didn’t want to hurt or lose him, but that I didn’t know what to do anymore. After I finished the whole explanation, I was emotionally exhausted. “Tell me what to do, Mama.”
“Oh, Alex, honey. That’s a lot for you to be dealing with. There’s no right or wrong answer here. I think you just need to do what your heart tells you to do. Most importantly, I think you really need to reassess your feelings for Donny, and when you do that, if you find that you don’t love him like he deserves to be loved, then you
“I know, Mama, I know. I’ll try to be better, I promise.” I realized that that was the same promise I’d had to make to Donny the previous night, and finding myself having to say it to my mother broke my heart. I really was a terrible person.
“Oh, you know we understand, Alex. We love you and just want you to be happy!” Best. Mother. Ever.
I felt the emotion welling up and had to swallow to clear the lump in my throat. I missed my family so much. “How’s Daddy and Ashton?” Yes, I was a twenty-two year old who still called his parents Mama and Daddy; it’s how I was raised and I had no intention of changing it because of some people’s perceptions.
“Oh, your father’s doing really well. Work is keeping him busy and he’s been doing a lot of late nights trying to prove he has what it takes to become VP at the bank. He’s got a really good shot at it and we should hear back within the next couple of weeks who’ll be selected. I’m pretty sure it will come down to your father and Hank, so we’ll see!” Hank was my father’s best friend at the bank so I was sure it’d been a bit stressful to be competing with him.
“And Ashton?” I asked.
Mama laughed. “Oh, you know your brother. He’s really taking advantage of every opportunity and experience senior year is offering. He’s got a new girlfriend every other week and I think this one’s name is Sara or Tara. I can’t really keep up with his social life anymore.”
Ashton was your typical all-American boy. He played football, basketball, and soccer, got good grades, had loads of friends, could get any girl that he wanted because of his good looks and muscles (I liked to think he got those from his big brother) and he was a true gentleman. I’d always been proud of him, but I felt extremely guilty for missing out on those important years with him. “Well, that’s good. I’m glad he’s enjoying himself this year. Has he started basketball yet?”
“Next week is district finals in football, and if they win they’ll make it to State. If not, then they’ll start basketball the week after. If you make it back in time, maybe you can see a game this year; he’s really hoping you can come to one since this is his last year playing.” Knife, meet heart.
“I’ll be there, Mama. I won’t let him down again.” I needed to start a list of all the things I sucked at being and at the top of the list would be boyfriend, son, and brother. Damn.
“So, I know you didn’t call me at eight in the morning on a Saturday to catch up on family gossip, baby. What’s wrong?” The kindness and caring in my mother’s voice almost broke me down but I resisted. Barely.
“I need some advice and you’re the only person I know I can count on to be objective and give it to me straight.”
“Of course, sweetie. What’s up?”
I sighed deeply and then relayed to her all of the things that had been going on. I told her how I felt and about the realization I’d made in the shower that morning. I told her about my feelings for Donny and how much I didn’t want to hurt or lose him, but that I didn’t know what to do anymore. After I finished the whole explanation, I was emotionally exhausted. “Tell me what to do, Mama.”
“Oh, Alex, honey. That’s a lot for you to be dealing with. There’s no right or wrong answer here. I think you just need to do what your heart tells you to do. Most importantly, I think you really need to reassess your feelings for Donny, and when you do that, if you find that you don’t love him like he deserves to be loved, then you
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