hunching over to hold his damaged finger in his good palm. Blood squirted out of the closed fist.
âLet me see,â I said, prying his hand open. A flat, mushy appendage lay in a pool of dark liquid, its tip split wide open so the wound looked feminine, like a vagina. I expected it to start talking. You shouldâve ⦠it said in a whiny voice. I couldnât understand what the finger was saying I shouldâve done. Killed Zane? I thought.
âWhereâs the sink?â Beets asked.
âThere is no sink,â I said. I was furious. What wrath had I incurred, sitting over there, watching water lap onto a lake beach? I took off my dusty t-shirt to wrap around Beetsâ finger, applying pressure the way I had learned in First Aid class.
âYou need a doctor,â I said. I felt semi-motherly because I was topless now, like a witch doctor.
âAll I need is a bathroom,â he said.
âThereâs a bathroom in town, Beets. Iâll take you.â
âNo oneâs going to the emergency room at 4 a.m. high on acid, crack, and shrooms,â Zane interrupted as he walked over from the other tent end.
âAre you the boss of smashed fingers?â I asked. âHeâll bleed to death.â
âNo oneâs going to bleed to death,â said Zane.
I kicked sand instead of Zane.
âGive me your keys,â I said. Zane ignored me.
The shirt wrapping Beetsâ finger was gurgling with blood. Beets was pale and sweaty. Sand stuck to his forehead and his moist shirt, and it looked like he had a wasp hive on the end of his arm. Even though sand is porous, blood pooled on the surface of the sand at his feet. I worried he would die if I couldnât bamboozle Zaneâs car keys away. It was time to get crafty, but I began to cry.
Zane let go of the last dumb stake of the already collapsed tent and assessed the situation. Beets tried wandering off to a non-existent bathroom.
âSit down, Beets,â I said, grabbing his shoulder to still him. I faced the inevitable. âYouâre going to die.â
âDonât TELL him that!â Zane said.
I entered the tent to locate a dry shirt to contain Beetsâ doomed finger. The scorpion seemed like years ago. Tomorrow, there would be a corpse buried in sand. Iâd tell the police I didnât take him to the hospital, and theyâd book me. The sandstorm calmed and I stopped shielding my eyes, even though I was already in the tent. Beets would bleed into first morning light, while I thought of ways to kill Zane.
Zane always exerted this false sense of authority. He had zero sexual grip on me, since he reminded me of a scraggly
Irish Setter. There was only life and death for Zane, though, and I liked this. He ignored everything in between. I knew what was running through Zaneâs head: Beets wasnât going to die, therefore he didnât care about the remaining plan. Appendages were inconsequential to Zane. He was nonplussed at parties unless people were diving off decks or having cardiac arrests in bathtubs.
I craved near-death adventure, until I got my fill with Zane. He was so gentle with me, weeks prior to this, the night we sat on his dorm room mattress for twelve-hours talking about how messed up life was. Gazing up at rock posters, Zane and I plotted against our healthy selves, destroying our bodies with real camaraderie. Zane almost died one night, and I got to watch his eyeballs pop out of his head while he laughed hyperactively. But recently, every time death neared, Zane denied its possibility, which made me suspect that heâd lost his edge.
Â
I woke up in the reeds, far from camp. Sand was in my mouth, my hair, my eyes, and my ears. I never wanted to see those guys again. I was seven hundred miles from home with sixteen dollars in my pocket. I wandered to other campsites asking people for a lift, and found someone who was going back to California. I needed to gather my
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