this in studies, and maintain that top lovers are authentic because women have always seen through false sexual advertisement.
“The feeling has to be real,” Rick continues. And beyond that? Rick takes a sip of port, waits a beat, and sighs. “All I know is, life is good, I invent stuff, I travel. I never follow the crowd. And I do love women. Ever tell you about the time Vivien Leigh invited me up? She told me three times, ‘If there were ever a real Rhett Butler, it would be you.’ ”
CHAPTER 2
Character:
THE GOODS
–
Character alone is worthy of the crown of love.
—A NDREAS C APELLANUS , The Art of Courtly Love
H is friends call him “The King”—the man who’s invincible with women. When I meet Brian for lunch, I know what they mean when they say, “He could get the dogs off the meat truck.” He greets me with a sunburst smile, looking more like a young Matthew Broderick at his First Communion than a twenty-six-year-old banker in a success suit and Hermès tie. But charisma, I soon learn, is only half of his allure. The rest comes down to character—qualities he has consciously cultivated.
“Oh sure,” he begins, “there’s the intrinsic stuff, loving women and joie de vivre . But I can shed some light on a few more things that work for me. I mean, you definitely have to be interesting.”
In what way?
“Well,” he quirks an eyebrow, “I’m incredibly active. I try to be all things at once. I read, keep up, I follow controversial topics—religion, politics, art. It’s very important, too,” he taps a sugar packet against the coffee cup for emphasis, “to deal socially with others, to have the ability to smile and charm. I like to keep in touch—all the lines open.”
Open they are. Brian has “thirty or forty girlfriends” in his address book whom he contacts regularly, some for quick catch-ups at Starbucks, others for trysts throughout Europe. At the mention of the word playboy , though, he bridles. “Absolutely not! I count women among my closest friends. There are guys who are bad guys, but hey, I’m a good person. I don’t mean any ill will. I try to be genuine and true to who I am.”
His friends bear him out. Ladykiller that he is, Brian is a far cry from the stock lothario who lacks a mature identity or moral compass. Although base philanderers and scalp-hunters abound, real Casanovas are men of character who possess core traits that persist through time and cultures. Not that they are consistent or “right stuff” material; we have to expand the boundaries a bit. Instead, they are self-created originals with a unique mix of qualities designed to maximize life and love, and to fascinate.
Morality/Virtue
Good moral character is sexually attractive and romantically inspiring.
—G EOFFREY M ILLER , The Mating Mind
Claude Adrien Helvétius was “the dread of husbands” in eighteenth-century France—the most desired, most sensual, and fickle of men. He was so handsome, with a cleft chin and ice-blue eyes, that Voltaire called him “Apollo.” Every morning his valet brought his first bedmate, and every afternoon and evening he romanced the ton of Paris—the comtesse d’Autre, the duchesse de Chaulnes, among others—ending with the beautiful actress Mademoiselle Gaussin. Once when a rich suitor offered the actress six hundred livres for the night, she gestured toward Helvétius and said, “Look like this man, monsieur, and I will give you 1,200 livres.”
Wealthy, witty, even a gifted dancer, he would seem to be a walking ancient régime cliché—a hard-boiled roué. Except he wasn’t; he was also the soul of benevolence. No one, said contemporaries, “joined more delicacy to more kindness.” When he met the right woman, he married, moved to the countryside, and devoted the rest of his life to good works. There he wrote De l’esprit ( On Mind ) and became one of the leading Enlightenment philosophers, advocating natural equality and the “greatest
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