it.”
“Huh.” She raised an eyebrow, and a spark of
anger in her gaze warned him.
“I mean, you just told me it was a girl.
I’ll have to think about it,” he added quickly.
Dawn drew closer. She stood a couple of feet
from him. The world was closing in on him. First Autumn, now a baby
girl. Beck wanted to run away screaming.
“Is … she healthy?” he asked.
“Of course. I don’t smoke or drink anymore.”
Dawn reached out to him and took his hand. She placed his palm
against her lower belly.
His earth magick felt the new life. Beck
swallowed hard. He left his hand on her stomach when she dropped
hers, unable to fathom the idea that his own child grew there. He
wasn’t ready to be the protector of Light witchlings. He was even
less prepared to be a father.
“Are you certain we can’t … make things
work, Beck?” Dawn asked. “Even for her?”
He understood how dangerous the question
was. Beck thought hard for an answer that wouldn’t set her off.
When he was quiet, she stepped closer.
“Wouldn’t it be nice to be a family?” she
asked.
“I’m not ready for that,” he said at
last.
“And I am? So what, you’re going to make me
raise your kid alone?”
She was right. This was as much his
responsibility as hers, and entirely his fault for not thinking
before sleeping with every blond girl that crossed his path. Beck
didn’t know what to say.
“Your father’s legal team hasn’t even asked
for visitation. Does that mean you don’t want anything to do with
us?” Dawn searched his gaze.
“I’ll make sure you’re both taken care of,”
he replied hoarsely.
“I’ll never model again, Beck. You realize
that, don’t you? And it’s your fault!”
Overwhelmed, he said nothing.
“Fine, abandon us!” Dawn whirled to
leave.
Beck caught her arm. “Dawn, wait.” He sought
anything to say. “I don’t want to abandon you. I want to be a part
of my daughter’s life.”
“What are you saying?”
“I don’t know.”
She sighed noisily. “You don’t know. Great
one, Beck. Daddy is right. You’re an irresponsible, immature
idiot.”
You don’t know the half of it, he
agreed silently. “I need time to figure things out, Dawn.”
“What is there to figure out? We’re having a
baby. If you want to see your daughter, you’ll give us a
chance.”
“Let me think about it.”
“You’re such a loser. Master of Light?
You’re worthless, Beck!” She strode away.
Beck didn’t wait for her to make it inside.
He dropped into his car and slammed the door closed, locking it. He
couldn’t handle another surprise this night. His jaw was clenched
tight enough that the muscles on both sides were twitching.
What he hated most was that Dawn was right
about him. He was a horrible Master of Light. He’d make a terrible
father. He sat for a long moment, until the chill of the night made
him shiver. Pulling himself out of his mind, he started the car and
drove it down the gravel road to the paved road leading towards his
parent’s cabin.
He pulled into their driveway, noticing that
there was light on in the family room. It made the pine trees
outside the window glow. Someone was up. He hoped it was his mom.
Beck waited for the garage door to open then pulled in. He trotted
up the stairs leading from the garage to the kitchen.
The cabin was warm and smelled of cinnamon.
He walked down the hallway on the ground floor into the family
room. His step slowed.
His mother was there, but she wasn’t going
to be in any shape to advise him. A beer glass filled with what
looked like his father’s expensive scotch was on the table beside
the couch. It was half empty. Next to it was an orange prescription
bottle. His mother was on the couch, asleep. The former Mistress of
Dark, she wasn’t the kind of person one could creep up on. If she
didn’t sense him, she was beyond out.
Beck picked up the bottle, not surprised to
see it was for sleeping pills. He knew why she was hurting:
“Huh.” She raised an eyebrow, and a spark of
anger in her gaze warned him.
“I mean, you just told me it was a girl.
I’ll have to think about it,” he added quickly.
Dawn drew closer. She stood a couple of feet
from him. The world was closing in on him. First Autumn, now a baby
girl. Beck wanted to run away screaming.
“Is … she healthy?” he asked.
“Of course. I don’t smoke or drink anymore.”
Dawn reached out to him and took his hand. She placed his palm
against her lower belly.
His earth magick felt the new life. Beck
swallowed hard. He left his hand on her stomach when she dropped
hers, unable to fathom the idea that his own child grew there. He
wasn’t ready to be the protector of Light witchlings. He was even
less prepared to be a father.
“Are you certain we can’t … make things
work, Beck?” Dawn asked. “Even for her?”
He understood how dangerous the question
was. Beck thought hard for an answer that wouldn’t set her off.
When he was quiet, she stepped closer.
“Wouldn’t it be nice to be a family?” she
asked.
“I’m not ready for that,” he said at
last.
“And I am? So what, you’re going to make me
raise your kid alone?”
She was right. This was as much his
responsibility as hers, and entirely his fault for not thinking
before sleeping with every blond girl that crossed his path. Beck
didn’t know what to say.
“Your father’s legal team hasn’t even asked
for visitation. Does that mean you don’t want anything to do with
us?” Dawn searched his gaze.
“I’ll make sure you’re both taken care of,”
he replied hoarsely.
“I’ll never model again, Beck. You realize
that, don’t you? And it’s your fault!”
Overwhelmed, he said nothing.
“Fine, abandon us!” Dawn whirled to
leave.
Beck caught her arm. “Dawn, wait.” He sought
anything to say. “I don’t want to abandon you. I want to be a part
of my daughter’s life.”
“What are you saying?”
“I don’t know.”
She sighed noisily. “You don’t know. Great
one, Beck. Daddy is right. You’re an irresponsible, immature
idiot.”
You don’t know the half of it, he
agreed silently. “I need time to figure things out, Dawn.”
“What is there to figure out? We’re having a
baby. If you want to see your daughter, you’ll give us a
chance.”
“Let me think about it.”
“You’re such a loser. Master of Light?
You’re worthless, Beck!” She strode away.
Beck didn’t wait for her to make it inside.
He dropped into his car and slammed the door closed, locking it. He
couldn’t handle another surprise this night. His jaw was clenched
tight enough that the muscles on both sides were twitching.
What he hated most was that Dawn was right
about him. He was a horrible Master of Light. He’d make a terrible
father. He sat for a long moment, until the chill of the night made
him shiver. Pulling himself out of his mind, he started the car and
drove it down the gravel road to the paved road leading towards his
parent’s cabin.
He pulled into their driveway, noticing that
there was light on in the family room. It made the pine trees
outside the window glow. Someone was up. He hoped it was his mom.
Beck waited for the garage door to open then pulled in. He trotted
up the stairs leading from the garage to the kitchen.
The cabin was warm and smelled of cinnamon.
He walked down the hallway on the ground floor into the family
room. His step slowed.
His mother was there, but she wasn’t going
to be in any shape to advise him. A beer glass filled with what
looked like his father’s expensive scotch was on the table beside
the couch. It was half empty. Next to it was an orange prescription
bottle. His mother was on the couch, asleep. The former Mistress of
Dark, she wasn’t the kind of person one could creep up on. If she
didn’t sense him, she was beyond out.
Beck picked up the bottle, not surprised to
see it was for sleeping pills. He knew why she was hurting:
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