Aunt Margaret's Lover

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Authors: Mavis Cheek
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bright-eyed and healthy with his normally pale face a good deal improved by the snow tan. He came to the house bearing gifts - a bottle of schnapps and an embroidered belt, neither of which I li ked. He pecked my cheek and settl ed himself in an armchair and looked like part of the furniture, which I found intensely irritating.
    'She got off OK, then?' he said.
    There was a gap between the end of his trouser leg and the beginning of his woolly green sock. This was also intensely irritating.
    I sat down opposite him. 'Yes,' I said. 'She seems to be enjoying herself.' 'That's good.'
    He had what I can only describe as a companionable smile on his lips as he stared at the fire and began to recount tales of the piste.
    'Well, that all sounds very jolly,' I said eventually.
    'Pity you couldn't come, really. Maybe next year.'
    'Maybe,' I said cautiously.
    'I'm going fishing for the May half-term. You could come, too.'
    I knew this was extraordinary generosity. Fishing was silent and manful and not at all a social event.
    ‘ Oh no,' I said. 'But thank you.'
    The flames flickered on.
    'So how are you finding it?' he asked.
    'Finding what?'
    'Being here without Saskia.'
    'A bit quiet. Not too bad.'
    'I suppose I should move in. Keep you company.'
    I suddenly saw us sitting at an eternal fireside together, him dreaming of stench, or whatever those fishes are called, and me dreaming of the one that got away.
    'No should about it,' I said briskly.
    'We could try it. We get on well.'
    'Roger,' I said, 'I get on well with the postman. I just think there should be something more.'
    'Bed, you mean?' he said gloomily. 'I suppose we are a bit quiet in that department. But we could improve.'
    'I think the rut is too deep.'
    'Keep it as it is, then?'
    'Well, no,' I said. 'Not exa ctly ...' And I took a really deep preparatory breath before saying the rest.
    I rang Jill but she seemed dejected - the flu bug's finale -so we talked only briefly. She wanted me to come up on an extended visit, but maybe because of her lowness of spirit or maybe because I had plans afoot, I made an excuse. I was a little more fragile than I cared to admit and wanted to be jolly. Jill was in one of her introspective moods and I couldn't rally to the cause. 'I'm a poor friend,' I said, 'but I've got quite a lot to deal with down here.' Jill thought I meant the business and accepted it, and we finally settle d on the end of May. By then, I felt sure, something new would have happened.
    'You can bring Roger up too if you like, at least for part of the time.'
    'No I can't,' I said, 'I've finished with him.' She perked up. 'Why?'
    'Boredom factor. Fresh start factor. Zen Moment of Right-ness . ..'
    'Permanent?' 'Absolutely.'
    'Oh, thank God for that,' she said. 'I know he was nice but he was so dull. That's the first cheering thing I've heard all week. Is there anyone else?'
    'You'd be the first to know if there were.'
    'There will be,' she said, and sighed. 'You are so lucky just to be able to do that.'
    'What?'
    'Put an end to the boredom.' 'I feel the cold draught of loneliness all the same.' 'Better than the warm fug of interdependence.' 'You are fed up.'
    'I'll be all right by the time you get here. Composting does wonders for the psyche - all that leaping about in shit.'
    I laughed. It was clearly not the moment to tell Jill about my plans.
    The shop was reorganized fairly smoothly. Mr Spiteri said that he wanted his son to learn the business and it was a good time to throw him in at the deep end. His son was a spoilt, lecherous, flashing-eyed twenty-five-year-old who should have been gainfully employed years ago. I did not think he would be over-zealous and I did not think that my position was seriously threatened. Besides, I would be keeping a watchful eye. Joan flicked rather a lot, and Reg swivelled, but on the whole they were for it. Shake hands and come out fighting, I felt like saying, as the two avoided each other's eyes (not surprisingly, I suppose) at our

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