Read Online August: Osage County by Tracy Letts - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Tracy Letts
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one. You know Chaney designed his own makeup.
JEAN: I know.
STEVE: Apparently very painful. He ran these fishing lines from under his nostrils and pulled them up under his—
JEAN: Yeah, I know.
STEVE: You see any of the remakes? They’re pretty bad.
JEAN: I’ve seen the one with Claude Rains.
STEVE: Right, right, pretty bad, right? Phantom’s queer. That’s a problem.
JEAN: I don’t remember it so hot, I was just a kid.
STEVE: Yeah . . .
(Steve sits on the couch behind her. They watch the movie for a moment.)
You’re not a kid anymore, I guess.
JEAN: What?
STEVE: I say you’re not a kid anymore.
JEAN: No. I mean, yeah .
STEVE: How old are you, about, seventeen?
JEAN: Fifteen.
STEVE: Right, right. Fifteen. That’s no kid.
(They watch TV.)
You’re no kid. (Beat) You know what I was doing when I was fifteen?
JEAN: What?
STEVE: Cattle processing. You know what that is?
JEAN: It doesn’t sound good.
STEVE: Slaughterhouse. Sanitation. Slaughterhouse sanitation.
JEAN: That’s disgusting.
STEVE: I don’t recommend it. But hey. Put food on the table. Get it?
(He sniffs the air.)
Whoa, whoa. Wait now. What’s that smell?
JEAN: Food, from the kitchen.
STEVE: Nah, that’s not what I’m smelling.
(He continues to sniff the air, follows his nose, until he is on the floor, above her. He smells her.)
JEAN: What are you doing?
STEVE: Do I smell what I think I smell?
JEAN: What do you smell?
STEVE: What do you think I smell?
JEAN: I think you smell food from the kitchen.
STEVE: Guess again.
(He whiffs, hard, breathing her in.)
JEAN: What are you—?
STEVE: Is that—is that pot?
JEAN: Oh. I don’t know.
(She smells her sleeve.)
STEVE: You smoking pot?
JEAN: No.
STEVE: You can tell me.
JEAN: No.
STEVE: Is it just me, or is it getting hot in here?
JEAN: It’s hot.
STEVE: You’re hot?
JEAN: Yeah . . .
STEVE: How hot are you?
JEAN: Really hot.
STEVE: Really hot.
JEAN: Yeah.
STEVE: Yeah . . . you a little dope smoker?
(No response.)
Well then you are in luck. Because I just happen to have some really tasty shit. Because I just happen to have some really good connects. And I am going to hook you up.
JEAN: That would be great ’cause I just smoked my last bowl, and I really need to get fucked up.
STEVE: You what?
JEAN: I really need to get fucked up—
STEVE: You need to get what?
JEAN: Fucked up—
STEVE: What? You need to get fucked what?
(She snort-laughs, pushes him away.)
JEAN: You’re bad.
STEVE: I’m just goofin’ with you.
(Karen enters from the kitchen, finds Steve on the floor, looming over Jean.)
Hi, sweetheart.
KAREN: What are you doing?
STEVE: Goofin’ with your niece.
KAREN: I think we’re getting ready to eat.
STEVE: Right, right, I’m starving.
KAREN: Did you remember to get cigarettes?
STEVE: Damn it. (To Jean) Didn’t I ask you what I was forgetting? I knew I was forgetting something—
KAREN: I’ll have to borrow from Momma.
JEAN: I’ve got cigarettes.
KAREN: You’ve got cigarettes.
JEAN: Camel Lights?
STEVE: She’s got our brand.
KAREN: Jean, honey, you’re too young to smoke.
STEVE (Faux stern) : Yeah.
KAREN (Whacks him playfully) : Stop it now, don’t encourage her—
STEVE: Hey, she’s no kid—
KAREN: Can we borrow a couple of cigarettes?
JEAN: Yep-per.
(Jean gets cigarettes from her purse.)
STEVE: Now let’s not encourage her—
KAREN: Oh, hush. (Takes cigarettes) Thanks, doll. Now stop smoking.
(Jean watches TV. Karen snuggles with Steve, speaks in a baby voice.)
Hi, doodle.
STEVE: Hey,
JEAN: I know.
STEVE: Apparently very painful. He ran these fishing lines from under his nostrils and pulled them up under his—
JEAN: Yeah, I know.
STEVE: You see any of the remakes? They’re pretty bad.
JEAN: I’ve seen the one with Claude Rains.
STEVE: Right, right, pretty bad, right? Phantom’s queer. That’s a problem.
JEAN: I don’t remember it so hot, I was just a kid.
STEVE: Yeah . . .
(Steve sits on the couch behind her. They watch the movie for a moment.)
You’re not a kid anymore, I guess.
JEAN: What?
STEVE: I say you’re not a kid anymore.
JEAN: No. I mean, yeah .
STEVE: How old are you, about, seventeen?
JEAN: Fifteen.
STEVE: Right, right. Fifteen. That’s no kid.
(They watch TV.)
You’re no kid. (Beat) You know what I was doing when I was fifteen?
JEAN: What?
STEVE: Cattle processing. You know what that is?
JEAN: It doesn’t sound good.
STEVE: Slaughterhouse. Sanitation. Slaughterhouse sanitation.
JEAN: That’s disgusting.
STEVE: I don’t recommend it. But hey. Put food on the table. Get it?
(He sniffs the air.)
Whoa, whoa. Wait now. What’s that smell?
JEAN: Food, from the kitchen.
STEVE: Nah, that’s not what I’m smelling.
(He continues to sniff the air, follows his nose, until he is on the floor, above her. He smells her.)
JEAN: What are you doing?
STEVE: Do I smell what I think I smell?
JEAN: What do you smell?
STEVE: What do you think I smell?
JEAN: I think you smell food from the kitchen.
STEVE: Guess again.
(He whiffs, hard, breathing her in.)
JEAN: What are you—?
STEVE: Is that—is that pot?
JEAN: Oh. I don’t know.
(She smells her sleeve.)
STEVE: You smoking pot?
JEAN: No.
STEVE: You can tell me.
JEAN: No.
STEVE: Is it just me, or is it getting hot in here?
JEAN: It’s hot.
STEVE: You’re hot?
JEAN: Yeah . . .
STEVE: How hot are you?
JEAN: Really hot.
STEVE: Really hot.
JEAN: Yeah.
STEVE: Yeah . . . you a little dope smoker?
(No response.)
Well then you are in luck. Because I just happen to have some really tasty shit. Because I just happen to have some really good connects. And I am going to hook you up.
JEAN: That would be great ’cause I just smoked my last bowl, and I really need to get fucked up.
STEVE: You what?
JEAN: I really need to get fucked up—
STEVE: You need to get what?
JEAN: Fucked up—
STEVE: What? You need to get fucked what?
(She snort-laughs, pushes him away.)
JEAN: You’re bad.
STEVE: I’m just goofin’ with you.
(Karen enters from the kitchen, finds Steve on the floor, looming over Jean.)
Hi, sweetheart.
KAREN: What are you doing?
STEVE: Goofin’ with your niece.
KAREN: I think we’re getting ready to eat.
STEVE: Right, right, I’m starving.
KAREN: Did you remember to get cigarettes?
STEVE: Damn it. (To Jean) Didn’t I ask you what I was forgetting? I knew I was forgetting something—
KAREN: I’ll have to borrow from Momma.
JEAN: I’ve got cigarettes.
KAREN: You’ve got cigarettes.
JEAN: Camel Lights?
STEVE: She’s got our brand.
KAREN: Jean, honey, you’re too young to smoke.
STEVE (Faux stern) : Yeah.
KAREN (Whacks him playfully) : Stop it now, don’t encourage her—
STEVE: Hey, she’s no kid—
KAREN: Can we borrow a couple of cigarettes?
JEAN: Yep-per.
(Jean gets cigarettes from her purse.)
STEVE: Now let’s not encourage her—
KAREN: Oh, hush. (Takes cigarettes) Thanks, doll. Now stop smoking.
(Jean watches TV. Karen snuggles with Steve, speaks in a baby voice.)
Hi, doodle.
STEVE: Hey,
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