Read Online Audacious by Gabrielle Prendergast - Free Book Online Page B

Christmas lights
    And Santa’s face grins on the door
    Nice dress , Nina says to me
    Jiggling her son on her hip
    And invites us in
    Mom gazes longingly at the baby
    And Nina obliges.
    Nina loves her canvas: Indigenous
    I look smart , she says
    You are smart, I point out
    You think? I was no good at school
    Smart people seldom are, I say
    I came to the show, you know
    That first night
    She shakes her head, smiling
    Howah, you got some balls
    Putting up a picture like that
    Then to my mother: e xcuse me, ma’am.
    Mom doesn’t hear
    She’s deep in a game
    Of competitive peekaboo
    And the baby boy seems to be winning
    I’m going back to school, Nina says
    If I can pass some tests this summer
    I’ll be in grade twelve with you
    I need to find a tutor I can afford
    I look over at Mom
    I think I know someone, I say.

MAYBE
    After I run away
    Nina and her baby might
    Take my place, with Mom.
    This I tell myself
    Is how she’ll survive my loss
    Even forgive me.

COLD
    The weather changes
    A sharp wind blows from the North
    Too cold for just tights,
    I slip some skinny jeans
    Under the vintage dress
    And boots, coat and hat
    Stomp through the thick falling snow
    To Starbucks.
    Nice dress , Samir says
    We sit cozy in the big corner chair
    He slips his black-and-white scarf
    (Keffiyeh, I know this is called)
    From around his neck
    And carefully wraps it
    Over my hair
    This is how the cool Muslim girls dress
    With pretty long-sleeved dresses
    Over sexy jeans
    Who are they kidding that this is modest?
    You look hot.
    Samir kisses me, a first.
    He has not kissed me in public
    Since that night after the art show
    I blush, and tug the scarf down.
    I have my dad’s car, he whispers
    We could leave right now
    And be in New York by Friday.
    You’re going to steal your dad’s car?
    I ask, incredulous, but intrigued
    No, YOU’RE going to steal it, he says
    You’re the thief, remember ?

LOOSE ENDS
    But neither of us thinks
    It will really happen
    This way
    We have talked
    About taking the train.
    We take our mochas to go
    And Samir drives me to Ms. Sagal’s
    Almost wordlessly
    I deliver her canvas: Single
    And Marika’s: Disabled
    She doesn’t say much
    And when we leave
    Samir speculates
    I hear she’s coming back to school
    They probably told her
    Not to talk to us.
    That stings me
    But feels oddly familiar.
    I’m like a flower
    Whose petals are being plucked away
    One by one
    Or falling to the ground
    Their purpose served.
    When I hold the last petal
    Samir
    I wonder
    Will I say, “He loves me”?

BLACK ICE
    Driving with Samir
    Slowly, around
    The outskirts of town
    The roads are being plowed
    But Samir has been warned
    Of Black Ice.
    Black ice is invisible
    It looks like a clear road
    But it tricks you
    Next thing you know
    You’re spinning
    Out of control.
    Then we’re quiet
    For a minute
    As we absorb that potent
    Metaphor.
    Samir parks the car
    Out near the airport
    Even though it’s dark,
    It’s only four thirty
    Cold enough
    That we can see our breath
    Even in the car.
    I love you, I say
    In a cloud of mist
    And touch his face
    With my fuzzy glove
    He closes his eyes
    Takes my hand
    And drags me, gently,
    Into the backseat.

C-C-C-C-COLD
    It’s much too cold
    To do more than unzip our coats
    And lie face to face
    Wrapped in each other
    For warmth.
    I remove one fuzzy glove
    And snake my hand
    Between us
    To the button of his jeans
    Don’t, he breathes
    It’s just touching, I say
    It won’t take much
    We’ll get all sticky
    Anyway, he adds ironically
    It’s a sin to spill it.
    Maybe I could catch it
    In a coffee cup, I say
    Which makes us both laugh
    So hard that he falls off the seat
    And onto the floor.
    He climbs back up painfully
    And pulls me into a deep kiss
    I slide into his lap
    Joined at the hip
    We forget the cold
    Until the door opens
    And a man’s head appears
    Who the hell are you?
    I say as Samir squirms out