itself. Still, he was hooked and his body protested with cravings at the familiar times and occasionally in the morning. He did not think of himself as an alcoholic and had no intention of heeding Ellisâ call to seek help. This was simply a health matter. He had spent too many years under alcoholâs spell. It was time to make amends to his body. He allowed himself an occasional beer and stayed away from the hard stuff.
He did feel better. Much of the dross that had accumulated in his system was gone, both because he was sweating it out on the track and also because he was not adding more. Breathing came easier, he was sleeping better, needing less and he even believed he was thinking more clearly with a brighter outlook. He still despised himself,however. The reckless behavior that broke up both his band and his relationship with Cindy filled him with guilt. He alone brought himself to this purgatory.
After a week the house was straightened to his liking. He found his old basketball and put a new set of strings on the hoop over the garage. Each evening, despite the cold, he turned on the lights and threw shot after shot at the rim. It was like the old days, a chance to think. In the afternoons he reacquainted himself with Chillingham. He drove around his hometown remembering the people and places of his youth. He drove by the homes of his friends, wondering what had become of them, if they were married and to whom. The drug store in the center of town was now a bank, but the exterior façade looked the same. For four years heâd waited in front of that store to catch the bus into Liston where he went to high school. Across the street the Chillingham Diner still operated as it had for sixty years. Before catching the bus he remembered cobbling together enough change to treat himself to a sweet roll and coffee, sitting at the counter in his jacket and tie, text books beside his stool, completely out of place among the construction workers, plumbers, electricians and telephone linemen who ate their eggs and bacon nearby.
By the end of the third week he could feel his body responding. He upped his runs to five miles. The sit-ups and pushups increased to twice a day. He was getting stronger and combined with his better diet, the fat that once encircled his waist, melted away. Apart from a few calls from Ellis, he had not spoken with another human being. He didnât mind. The solitude allowed him to cope with his shame. He understood that parting with Cindy was in her best interest. His, too, as he accepted the truth that heâd used her. Because she loved him she ignored and even made excuses for his bad behavior. Because he disliked facing consequences, he kept her close and led her on. She was right. It was never love.
He decided to add swimming to his routine. This meant returning to Liston, something he had carefully avoided since high school. He dreaded returning to the city with its unhappy memories, but he was on a quest to heal his spirit as well as his body. As he turned the Saab onto Liston Turnpike he debated whether to follow it to the end. If so, he would come out at Kendall Academy.
Jimmy Buckmanâs destiny changed with high school. He always expected to go to Chillingham High where the teams had won championships in football and basketball for four years running. He and his friends dreamt of continuing the schoolâs winning ways and reaping the glories it would bring. The dream was shattered when his mother announced that he must take the entrance exam for Kendall Academy in Liston. Until that moment Jimmy had never heard of Kendall Academy. He flatly refused. He knew he could not win, but he protested vigorously day after day until the morning of the exam when his father drove him to the school. Sitting together in the Kendall parking lot with the car ignition turned off, Jimmy made it clear that he would flunk the exam on purpose. This resulted in the only act of violence his
He did feel better. Much of the dross that had accumulated in his system was gone, both because he was sweating it out on the track and also because he was not adding more. Breathing came easier, he was sleeping better, needing less and he even believed he was thinking more clearly with a brighter outlook. He still despised himself,however. The reckless behavior that broke up both his band and his relationship with Cindy filled him with guilt. He alone brought himself to this purgatory.
After a week the house was straightened to his liking. He found his old basketball and put a new set of strings on the hoop over the garage. Each evening, despite the cold, he turned on the lights and threw shot after shot at the rim. It was like the old days, a chance to think. In the afternoons he reacquainted himself with Chillingham. He drove around his hometown remembering the people and places of his youth. He drove by the homes of his friends, wondering what had become of them, if they were married and to whom. The drug store in the center of town was now a bank, but the exterior façade looked the same. For four years heâd waited in front of that store to catch the bus into Liston where he went to high school. Across the street the Chillingham Diner still operated as it had for sixty years. Before catching the bus he remembered cobbling together enough change to treat himself to a sweet roll and coffee, sitting at the counter in his jacket and tie, text books beside his stool, completely out of place among the construction workers, plumbers, electricians and telephone linemen who ate their eggs and bacon nearby.
By the end of the third week he could feel his body responding. He upped his runs to five miles. The sit-ups and pushups increased to twice a day. He was getting stronger and combined with his better diet, the fat that once encircled his waist, melted away. Apart from a few calls from Ellis, he had not spoken with another human being. He didnât mind. The solitude allowed him to cope with his shame. He understood that parting with Cindy was in her best interest. His, too, as he accepted the truth that heâd used her. Because she loved him she ignored and even made excuses for his bad behavior. Because he disliked facing consequences, he kept her close and led her on. She was right. It was never love.
He decided to add swimming to his routine. This meant returning to Liston, something he had carefully avoided since high school. He dreaded returning to the city with its unhappy memories, but he was on a quest to heal his spirit as well as his body. As he turned the Saab onto Liston Turnpike he debated whether to follow it to the end. If so, he would come out at Kendall Academy.
Jimmy Buckmanâs destiny changed with high school. He always expected to go to Chillingham High where the teams had won championships in football and basketball for four years running. He and his friends dreamt of continuing the schoolâs winning ways and reaping the glories it would bring. The dream was shattered when his mother announced that he must take the entrance exam for Kendall Academy in Liston. Until that moment Jimmy had never heard of Kendall Academy. He flatly refused. He knew he could not win, but he protested vigorously day after day until the morning of the exam when his father drove him to the school. Sitting together in the Kendall parking lot with the car ignition turned off, Jimmy made it clear that he would flunk the exam on purpose. This resulted in the only act of violence his
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