Read Online Astonishing the Gods by Ben Okri - Free Book Online Page B

sure.’
    â€˜Those who find love find it in themselves.’
    â€˜I suppose so.’
    â€˜It is so. I should know.’
    â€˜Why?’
    â€˜Because I looked for and never found love. I found something else.’
    â€˜What?’
    â€˜Something that looked like love, but wasn’t. Others I know never looked and they found. They found it in abundance. For them it was always there. Love was always alive in them. It was always there.’
    â€˜Where?’
    â€˜Everywhere. They merely invited it, and it came. They merely were, and it was attracted. Love goes to where love is. And where love is, love is never lost. Lucky are those who know how to find, for they will never lose things.’

14
    There was a short pause during which he studied the dwarf-like figure, trying to clarify its strangely shifting form. The figure, short and enigmatic and still, began to move away.
    â€˜Don’t go,’ he said.
    â€˜I have to,’ the figure replied.
    â€˜I am alone here. I don’t understand anything. This place is new to me, its ways are odd, and I have no one to talk to. My bed is over there. I have some water, some grapes, and would gladly share them with you.’
    â€˜I have no need of water or grapes,’ said the figure, ‘but I’ll keep you company for a while. I must be back at the loggia at an appointed time.’
    They went towards the bed. The dwarf-like figure brought its darkness with it, and even under the moonlight remained obscure. The figure had a heavy tread, as if it were made not of flesh but of adamant, or ancient marble.
    He sat on the bed, poured himself some water, and drank from the diamond glass. The large-headed figure remained standing. It stood in its own darkness. After a while, the figure spoke.
    â€˜Why are you here?’
    â€˜I left my home seeking to be visible.’
    â€˜You came to the wrong place. Here things are invisible. The real things can’t be seen.’
    â€˜But I feel at peace here.’
    â€˜You won’t for long.’
    â€˜Why not?’
    â€˜Because what you are seeking isn’t here. There are many lands beyond, where people know true peace. They know contentment. They never seek, never search. They have all that they want. They are visible, and their lands ring with happiness. That’s what you want.’
    â€˜That sounds like here.’
    â€˜Not here. You should follow your seeking to the end.’
    â€˜But you said if I look I’ll never find.’
    â€˜That’s true of everything except what I just told you.’
    â€˜You contradict yourself.’
    â€˜No I don’t. You seek visibility. Here, things are invisible. You are therefore in the wrong place. Quite simple.’
    â€˜I feel in the right place though.’
    â€˜Then you are not seeking to be visible, you are not seeking visibility.’
    â€˜I was.’
    â€˜You still are. Your trouble is that you don’t know this place. This is a rigorous land. Everyone lives without illusions. It is exhausting. One can’t live in perfection the whole time. Purity, after a while, is boring. Too much invisibility can mean you stop existing. Even the wind wants to be visible. To be invisible is like living with your own death all the time. Who wants to be always dead. To be visible is to live with your life, your mortality. It is to be alive, to see and be seen. You’re in the wrong place. It won’t be long before you go completely mad.’
    â€˜Mad?’
    â€˜Yes. You’d go mad. You’d start seeing things. Invisible things. You’d see them in mirrors. You’d see them in the air. A cart would rush past with no one pushing it. Horses would disappear. The wind would become a woman. You’d start to talk to people who aren’t there. You’d start to hear voices. Mad, yes, quite mad. Then, worst of all, you’d start looking for things and end up looking for yourself. In