mustâve leaned into the frozen food compartment and thought, Those little monsters will never know the difference. She was wrong. I knew.
âThank you,â I said.
âWhat kind is it?â Tad asked.
âWhy, Tad,â Pamela cooed, âcanât you read that? A big boy like you. See, thatâs a C, then thatâs an H,â and so on, giving Tad a spelling lesson that humiliated him and made him clamp his mouth shut as tight as any clam.
I kept waiting for Pamela to say, âWhat can I do to help?â in that special voice of hers. She didnât say it. She sat on one of the kitchen stools watching my father cook supper.
âHow long till we eat, Dad?â I said.
âNot long. Ten, fifteen minutes.â
I looked over at her. She was drinking sherry out of one of my motherâs good glasses, swinging her foot, admiring her knees. I could tell setting the table was far from her thoughts.
What would my mother do? I wondered. Would she outwait Pamela, then, when the food was ready, spring into action, pretending sheâd forgotten to set the table? Or would she simply say, âHere are the knives and forks. Go to it.â
I decided my mother would take the direct approach. She usually does. âHere, Pam,â I said, handing over the utensils. Sheâd told me to call her by her first name. I guess she thought that would make us friends. Also closer in age.
âGo to it,â I said, smiling at her. âPam.â
Slowly, very slowly, she put down her glass and said âWhy, of course, dear. Iâd be glad to help. All you had to do was ask me.â She uncrossed her legs, slid her bottom off the stool, and stood there, waiting, no doubt, for my father to say, âYou do it, Sky. Pamâs a guest,â as he had on several occasions. This time he was silent The boys watched as she laid out the knives and forks and spoons, lining them up as carefully as if sheâd been a waitress at a classy restaurant.
I went into the bathroom, locked the door, and sat on the hard edge of the tub, smiling to myself. Then I turned on the cold water and washed my face hard, to bring myself into line. I laughed until I cried.
13
A light, cold rain was falling Monday morning when Nell and I met at the bus stop.
âWhereâs everybody?â I said. We were the only ones there. Tad had a cold and Sidney too. âWhereâs your brothers?â I asked Nell.
âDown with nothing,â she said. âWatching TV all day long. She said they could stay home. She lets them get away with murder. Because theyâre boys.â She shot a glance at me. âMothers favor boys. I bet your mother does the same.â
âNo,â I said truthfully. âShe doesnât.â
âBaloney. Thatâs your story. If it was me, Iâd have to be dying before sheâd let me stay home from school. Sheâs soft in the head when it comes to the boys. You canât tell me your motherâs not the same.â
I could tell by Nellâs voice that this was one of her ornery days. Likely sheâd contradict everything I said. She got like that.
I decided to change the subject. âSeems like spring will never come,â I said brightly. âBlink your eyes and you miss it entirely.â
âIâm hot.â Nell flapped her coat in the stiff breeze blowing from the harbor. âIâm boiling.â The gray sky hung down so low I was sure I could touch it, puncture it, bring down torrents on my head. The rain would turn to snow before long; the damp seeped into every opening it could find.
âI seen worse weatherân this plenty of times,â she said. âWhy, where we lived before, we had blizzards that could make you cry out with the cold. Temperature was down around thirty below, stayed there all winter. This is nothing.â
âWinds get so strong around these parts,â I countered, âthey make your
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