challenge. “Eat. You are too thin and I know you like bacon. Quit being self-conscious.” Damn the man . I smile, shake my head and dig in.
After breakfast, Breccan leads me out to the balcony with our coffee and sits us down in a lounger; him behind me. I lean into him and enjoy the view.
“Want to tell me what the dream was about,” he breaks the silence.
“Not really,” I answer, take a deep intake of breath and say, “It was just a nightmare. Not a memory.”
“Then maybe you can tell me?” His hands travel up my arms and slowly rub my shoulders reassuringly.
“My past colliding with my present,” I answer cryptically.
I don’t know why. If I want a future with him- and I do- I need to know if he can stand the thought of someone like me sharing a bed with him.
“Elaborate, please?” His voice is still gentle and soft but I detect an edge of impatience.
I turn in the lounger and look at him. I stare deep into those mesmerizing cerulean blue and caring eyes, hoping that he can truly accept me and that everything he has said is the truth. I hope nothing can change the way he feels about me, because I’m about to test it...
I stare at him so long, stuck in a trance memorizing his face, just in case this is the last opportunity I have to do so.
“Harper,” his soft, deep voice snaps me back to the present.
I lean forward and press my lips to his… one last kiss… one last taste… just in case.
He responds immediately, greeting my tongue with his. I press into him and he sets his and my coffee down without moving his lips from mine and deepens the kiss further. My hands go into his hair pulling, wanting him to be closer to me.
Before things get too far, I pull and scoot away from him. After I get my breathing back under control from the kiss I look into his eyes.
“I want you. I want this,” I gesture with my hand between us. “You and me. Whatever it takes,” I say emphatically.
“I’m so glad to hear you say that ,” he smiles at me and takes my hand in his and brings it to his lips.
“I have to tell you this ,” I take a breath to slow my racing heart and stare deep into his eyes. “And, maybe, if you can accept it, we can move forward.”
He drops my hand from his mouth, but continues to hold it.
“Okay…” he says softly.
“After I tell you this, you can end it. If you want.” He begins to interrupt me but I keep talking before he can, “After that, if you decide,” I draw another deep breath “by some miracle, to stay with me... you can’t leave me. You just can’t. If I let you in, you’re in and I need to know that.” Hot tears well in my eyes as I look at the only man I have and ever will love.
“Okay, dove. I promise. Tell me.” He pulls our entwined hands to his chest.
I pull my hand from his and just say it before I lose the courage. “I was a prostitute.” I watch his eyes go wide, his lips part with an intake of breath and then I matter of factly add, “For four years.”
The silence is so deafening. I feel utterly defeated. How stupid was I? He had no idea what he was getting into and he can’t accept this from someone he thought he would share his future with. I understand. Honestly, I do. Who would want that girl ?
Broken...
Dirty… tainted.
I let out a strained and broken sigh and stand up without looking at him. I can’t face how I have ruined this amazing man. I make my way back into the suite to get my things and walk out of Breccan Caldwell’s life for good.
I’m stopped by a sudden yank on my arm and I turn to see Breccan staring up at me. I can’t look directly into those eyes and know that I have destroyed him. Again. I respond without eye contact.
“ It’s okay, Brecc. You don’t have to say anything. I understand,” I say softly and loosen my wrist out of his grip, discarding his hand.
I keep walking and make it into the bedroom before the tears spill from my eyes falling onto my cheeks. I see my bag in the corner
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