that. A lot.”
Aiden’s chest tightened at Sam’s response, and he forced back memories of five years before. Let it go.
“There is something I’d like to tell you, though,” Sam continued. “Something I should have told you five years ago. And then I promise I won’t say another word.”
“Sure. Of course.”
Sam took a deep breath. “You were the first… the first man I’d been with, since my partner, Nick, died. I mean, I had dated a little, but I hadn’t slept with anyone since then.”
Aiden did his best to mask his surprise. Sam had never said anything about a partner in the short time they dated.
Although it’s not like we shared life stories in the two weeks we spent together.
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.” God, why did he sound like such an idiot? The guy had just told him someone he cared about had died, and that was all he could come up with?
“Of course you wouldn’t have. I should have told you.”
“What happened?” Aiden saw Sam stand a bit taller, his shoulders set back as if he were steeling himself. Aiden immediately regretted asking the question. “I mean, if you’re okay talking about it, that is.”
“I’m good with it. Really.” He paused for a moment, then continued, “His name was Nick. He was twenty-seven when he died. We met at Columbia when we were both undergrads. He was an art student, I was pre-law. We lived together for about six years.”
Aiden nodded, unsure of what to say.
“About a year before you and I met, I got a call. They said he’d had a massive stroke. An aneurism. He lived for about a week. I had to….” Sam looked down at the street and his jaw tensed visibly. “That night… at the bar… it was the first time I’d been out since Nick died.”
Shit. It was all Aiden could do not to say it out loud. If he’d known…. If I’d known, then what? It wasn’t only Sam who was confused back then.
“I didn’t expect to meet anyone, Aiden. And I sure as hell didn’t think I’d meet someone I actually cared about.” Sam ran a hand through his hair as if trying to collect himself. “And when you told me about the scholarship… dammit! I knew why you were telling me, but I didn’t know what to say.”
“You said you wanted to tell me something that night,” Aiden said in an undertone. “It wasn’t about the movie, was it?”
“You remember that?” Sam looked directly at Aiden, and Aiden could see surprise and pleasure in the other man’s eyes. Aiden smiled and nodded. “I was going to ask you to come over to my place,” Sam explained. “The place I’d shared with Nick. But when you told me… shit. I could barely get up the nerve to ask you over. What right did I have to ask you to stay in New York? And when you called to say you’d gotten the scholarship, I hesitated. When I finally called, you were gone.”
Aiden did his best to smile. “I didn’t know what I wanted either. I don’t know what I would have said if you’d asked me to stay. In the end, that scholarship made my career. Maybe that’s just the way it was supposed to work out.”
“Thanks.”
“For what?” Their eyes met for a brief moment, and Aiden was tempted to take Sam in his arms. To kiss him.
“For not punching the shit out of me when you saw me again.” Sam laughed. “But seriously, I appreciate it. Giving me a chance to explain, after all this time.”
“I’m glad you told me.” He was glad, although Sam’s admission left him more unsettled than before.
“Friends?”
“Friends,” Aiden repeated. “So maybe we can get together. Do some sightseeing while you’re here?” He hadn’t planned on asking, but he wanted to see Sam again, even if it was only to walk around Paris.
“I’d like that.”
“I don’t have rehearsal tomorrow. Why don’t I stop by around eleven? We can grab lunch if you’d like.”
“Sounds great.”
A
IDEN walked back to his hotel a little after one, tipsy and thoroughly exhausted. It was a “good” kind of
Aiden’s chest tightened at Sam’s response, and he forced back memories of five years before. Let it go.
“There is something I’d like to tell you, though,” Sam continued. “Something I should have told you five years ago. And then I promise I won’t say another word.”
“Sure. Of course.”
Sam took a deep breath. “You were the first… the first man I’d been with, since my partner, Nick, died. I mean, I had dated a little, but I hadn’t slept with anyone since then.”
Aiden did his best to mask his surprise. Sam had never said anything about a partner in the short time they dated.
Although it’s not like we shared life stories in the two weeks we spent together.
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.” God, why did he sound like such an idiot? The guy had just told him someone he cared about had died, and that was all he could come up with?
“Of course you wouldn’t have. I should have told you.”
“What happened?” Aiden saw Sam stand a bit taller, his shoulders set back as if he were steeling himself. Aiden immediately regretted asking the question. “I mean, if you’re okay talking about it, that is.”
“I’m good with it. Really.” He paused for a moment, then continued, “His name was Nick. He was twenty-seven when he died. We met at Columbia when we were both undergrads. He was an art student, I was pre-law. We lived together for about six years.”
Aiden nodded, unsure of what to say.
“About a year before you and I met, I got a call. They said he’d had a massive stroke. An aneurism. He lived for about a week. I had to….” Sam looked down at the street and his jaw tensed visibly. “That night… at the bar… it was the first time I’d been out since Nick died.”
Shit. It was all Aiden could do not to say it out loud. If he’d known…. If I’d known, then what? It wasn’t only Sam who was confused back then.
“I didn’t expect to meet anyone, Aiden. And I sure as hell didn’t think I’d meet someone I actually cared about.” Sam ran a hand through his hair as if trying to collect himself. “And when you told me about the scholarship… dammit! I knew why you were telling me, but I didn’t know what to say.”
“You said you wanted to tell me something that night,” Aiden said in an undertone. “It wasn’t about the movie, was it?”
“You remember that?” Sam looked directly at Aiden, and Aiden could see surprise and pleasure in the other man’s eyes. Aiden smiled and nodded. “I was going to ask you to come over to my place,” Sam explained. “The place I’d shared with Nick. But when you told me… shit. I could barely get up the nerve to ask you over. What right did I have to ask you to stay in New York? And when you called to say you’d gotten the scholarship, I hesitated. When I finally called, you were gone.”
Aiden did his best to smile. “I didn’t know what I wanted either. I don’t know what I would have said if you’d asked me to stay. In the end, that scholarship made my career. Maybe that’s just the way it was supposed to work out.”
“Thanks.”
“For what?” Their eyes met for a brief moment, and Aiden was tempted to take Sam in his arms. To kiss him.
“For not punching the shit out of me when you saw me again.” Sam laughed. “But seriously, I appreciate it. Giving me a chance to explain, after all this time.”
“I’m glad you told me.” He was glad, although Sam’s admission left him more unsettled than before.
“Friends?”
“Friends,” Aiden repeated. “So maybe we can get together. Do some sightseeing while you’re here?” He hadn’t planned on asking, but he wanted to see Sam again, even if it was only to walk around Paris.
“I’d like that.”
“I don’t have rehearsal tomorrow. Why don’t I stop by around eleven? We can grab lunch if you’d like.”
“Sounds great.”
A
IDEN walked back to his hotel a little after one, tipsy and thoroughly exhausted. It was a “good” kind of
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