Read Online Any Way You Want Me by Yuwanda Black - Free Book Online Page B

I don't blame you for breaking things off with me. You had every
right to and you were wise to do it. Everything you said is true. I've never
been able to let anyone in, as you put it. Ever … until now."
     
               
"Will you go to dinner with me? I know you must be hungry and goodness
knows I am.  I'll tell you the whole sordid tale of my life. Everything.
Then if you decide that you still don't want to be involved with me, well, I'll
have to find a way to deal with that."
    .
. .
               
               
Two-and-a-half hours later, as they sat in O'Reilly's Steak Pub, Kylie absorbed
all that Gatlin told her with tears in her eyes.
     
               
"Dear God Gatlin, how did you turn out to be such an amazing man? You know
how many people don't break the cycle; who go on and repeat the past? I thought
I loved you before, but …"
     
               
She stopped, and simply squeezed his hand across the table.
     
               
He squeezed her hand back in silent gratitude for her understanding and
empathy. "You know, I think one of the reasons I'm so drawn to crime reporting
is that it gives victims a voice. As you know by my tendency to shut down, many
of them don’t feel like they have one. And even when they do, they don't trust
it."
     
               
"While I didn't turn out to be violent like my father, I have done my
share of emotional damage to women I've been with by being so closed. You're
the first woman to make me want to change that; to make me realize I have to
change that to live a full life."
     
               
"One of the things I love about you is your optimistic outlook on life.
You always see the bright side. I don't think I've ever met anyone who … eats
life like you do."
     
               
Kylie burst into laughter. "You think I eat life? … I like that!"
Perhaps another thing to put on a t-shirt, she said, reminding him of the time
he said she should put the phrase, ' I don't
question, I just enjoy ' on a t-shirt as a reminder of a life
philosophy.
     
               
"Yes you do, and you make me want to eat it too instead of cringe away
from it." Turning serious, he said, "I know I have a lot of emotional
work to do Kylie, but I'm asking you to hang in there with me. I don't want to
shut you out of my life ever again. I don't want to lose you. I can't lose
you."
     
               
"I'm a brooder, so I need time and space to think sometimes, but I won't
shut down and not communicate with you. I need you, as much as I need air in my
lungs and food in my belly. I won't do anything to jeopardize losing you
again."
     
               
"One more thing … will you promise me something?" he said.
     
               
"Yes, if I can," she said, still in shock over just how tumultuous
his life had been and how openly he was sharing it with her now.
     
               
"I'm so used to shutting down that it's become habit; one I'm determined
to break. So if you feel that I'm locking you out, make me aware of it and I
promise you I'll let you back in."
     
               
"I promise," she said, squeezing the one hand she was holding with
both of hers. "It's all I could ever ask of you Gatlin," she said,
her watery smile lighting up her face.
     
               
"One more thing," he said.
     
               
"What's that?" she replied, fishing for a tissue in her handbag. The
tears were flowing freely now … for what he'd been through as a child, for the
possibilities the future held for them and for the love that overflowed for him
right at this second.
     
               
Waiting for her to find her tissue, Gatlin scooted closer to her in the leather
booth of the Irish pub. Cupping her face in his hands as she wiped her happy
tears, he said, "I know this may seem a little out of left field, but will
you marry me