your asses down so far, you’d be shitting out a toilet in China!”
“Well, Mr. President. Frankly, Sir, we knew that. That’s why we lied.”
President Abernathy grew less professional as he became more enraged. “GET OUT!”
“Mr. President?”
“Leave my sight, leave the White House,” he shouted, “Scum like you people do not deserve aide from this government!”
They all got up and quietly shuffled out of the room, tails between their legs. The president slammed the door behind them and began to curse vehemently.
With his back against the door, President Abernathy slid to the floor and put his head in his hands. “All I wanted,” he groaned, “was a chocolate lava cake.”
*****
The everlasting moan of undead monsters had stolen Harley’s appetite. She needed to find Allie. Harley turned right and after a block took another right. Her eyes widened when she realized where she had driven. Main Street was laden with shambling automatons. Startled, she slammed on the brakes. Pixel clawed at the passenger seat upholstery.
“nUuuuugh.”
All it took was one zombie. It howled and began to approach the SUV. The majority of the crowd instinctively turned and followed the leading monster.
“Ho-Leee Fuck!” Harley was overwhelmed by the difference between Sandy's Beach and Derby. Her parents were lucky that the Derby Deads only hunted at night.
A swarm of undead in various states of decomposition, mouths agape and arms outstretched, were shambling towards her, forming a circle around the car. Harley’s began to panic. Rolling down the window would be dumb and getting out would be fatal. Trapped, the terrorized debutant revved the engine and sped forward. The sound of bodies scratching the paint and splattering on the pavement made the devil inside her smile sadistically. She mashed the undead with a vigor she had never felt before. Harley swung around and charged at the other walkers. They didn’t have enough brains left to know how to get out of the way. Instead, they continued towards the car. The tires squealed as Harley fishtailed, knocking several monsters to the ground.
The walkers kept pouring onto Main Street. Apparently everyone in Sandy’s Beach was infected. Harley was so hysterical that she stopped paying attention to the gas gauge. Pixel, eyes wide and hackles up, was just as frightened as his human.
Just as Harley was about to mash more walkers, the car shuddered and died. Harley turned the key.
Rrroaw-rrroaw-rrroaw
It wouldn’t start. Harley punched the horn, praying that the car would start before turning the key in the ignition once more.
Rrroaw-rroaw-rroaw
“God Damn it!” She shrieked, throwing her hands up and letting them slap the steering wheel.
The gas gauge almost grinned as it maliciously pointed at the cruel, red "E". The automatons continued to close in on the dead Cadillac. Harley began to weep with hopeless abandon.
“This is it Pix,” she wailed, pulling the cat away from the passenger’s seat and holding him to her chest. “We’re about to become zombie grub! God, I'm so stupid!”
That’s when the first shots rang out. Harley looked around, confused. Then the loud crack of a shotgun recoiling filled her ears.
“What the-”
*****
Sandy’s Beach, Oregon
Allie had been watching from her third floor apartment. Some imbecile had decided to drive a roaring SUV all over Main Street, causing a
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