Read Online An Officer but No Gentleman by Bronwyn Scott - Free Book Online Page B

she’d not misread the solemnity in his eyes just now. He truly did wish things could be different. It wasn’t that he didn’t want things to continue in Vienna, it was that he felt they couldn’t continue. There was still a secret, only not the one she’d thought. There was hope in that, she thought. It wasn’t over, not yet.
    * * *
    Grahame moved over her, pushing up her skirts and settling between her legs. The primal need to conquer had come upon him suddenly, brought on by the questions and disclosure. He wanted her to belong to him, even if just for tonight. Time was running out for his fantasy and he would not let it go easily, not without a few more memories. He thrust in hard, finding her slick and ready. Did he imagine it, or did her arms tighten about his neck more fiercely? Did her legs clasp him more firmly, unwilling to let him leave her body? Was it possible she felt it, too, that the end was near and nothing could stop it? Had she understood his subtle plea?. More important, would she honor it and not push him for more?
    It was simple sex, man on top, nothing fancy, nothing that would have dazzled the tonnish ladies with his prowess, and yet when they’d climaxed together beneath their rough blankets, beside their little fire in a rickety barn, rain pounding on the roof, Grahame felt like a king. The restlessness he’d felt in London had been resolved. He needed nothing more than this. This was it. Elowyn was it and he couldn’t have her.
    “Why did you cross the Channel with me?” Grahame murmured into the darkness. The fire had burned low and now they lay beside it, wrapped in blankets, savoring the afterglow of their lovemaking. It was a risky question given their other disclosures tonight, but he needed the answer.
    What did she see in him? How badly was it going to hurt to let her go? And always, the question, would it hurt more to tell her the real reason it had to end? To see her turn away from him in disgust? He’d not intended to let things get this far, and clearly from her reaction earlier tonight, she had not intended it, either. But here they were, both of them seeking a physical affair that had spun out of control and now they were at sea, trying not to drown in their attraction.
    Elowyn took her time swallowing, gathering her thoughts. He could see the silhouette of her throat working in the firelight. “I couldn’t bear for my father to worry.” She stared into the fire. “My mother froze to death en route to one of my father’s postings. A wheel had come off her carriage. When she didn’t arrive on time, no one worried. Carriages were always late. The roads weren’t made for fast travel. There were constant delays—it was what was expected. By the time my father went looking for her, it was too late. I couldn’t put him through that again.”
    He was surprisingly disappointed to hear that. He supposed he’d wanted a confession that she’d come for him, that she couldn’t resist him, although in the long run, this answer was much better. It proved that maybe some detachment still remained after all.
    The fire sparked and popped. Elowyn picked up a long stick and poked the wood about, rearranging the kindling. “But that wasn’t the only reason.” She shot him a look and worried her lip. “I couldn’t make you stay. You needed to cross the Channel. I don’t know what for, but it was there in your eyes. You couldn’t wait and I didn’t want to make you. You would have stayed. You wouldn’t have left me in Dover with wagons and servants to manage. Your honor as a gentleman, as an officer, wouldn’t allow it.”
    Would his honor allow her to believe that statement? It was Grahame’s turn to look away, uncertain about how much to say. He wasn’t a gentleman, never had been by birth or by deed. The goodness she assigned to him was overwhelming and even a bit shaming. He should tell her. It would be the final wall he needed to keep her from him. She would pull away