Read Online America's Galactic Foreign Legion - Book 23 - Bandits by Walter Knight - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Walter Knight
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spider dinner,” exclaimed Crazy-Sting, leader of the scorpion pack. “Where's the casino money?”
“The Arthropodan commander stole my money,” lamented Cactus-Claw. “Can you believe it?”
“The military industrial complex sucks money like a vacuum cleaner,” answered Crazy-Sting. “Trying to make an honest living as a criminal has been tough ever since they legalized drug dealing. We've been reduced to eating rats. Fortunately, there's been lots of rats lately. Got anything of value on you?”
“Just information. That's valuable. The human pestilence Legion is digging lots of holes in the valley.”
“That's something.”
“Enough to save our lives? Can't we all just get along?”
“Spiders and scorpions are natural enemies,” explained Crazy-Sting remorsefully. “I need more than holes in the ground.”
“I sold a ghost-in-a-jar to the Arthropodan commander,” offered Cactus-Claw, handing Crazy-Sting images from his communications pad. “The Legion will want its ghost back.”
“Are there many ghosts-in-a-jar?”
“Don't know, don't care. I got mine from Colonel Czerinski. Maybe that's why the Legion is digging holes. Maybe there's treasure in the ground. Together we can find out. If it's gold, I'll file a mining claim and split with you fifty-fifty.”
“It's not gold,” commented Crazy-Sting. “Half of nothing is still nothing, but you have a deal. File that claim. We'll be partners in dirt. All the galaxy's creatures should own dirt before they die, if for nothing else than to have a place to be buried. You don't want to live forever, do you?”
“Actually, yes.”
“Now I remember you,” exclaimed Crazy-Sting. “You were featured on America's Most Wanted. You're that spider who steals human teeth. I like your work, bro, but don't you know humans hold a grudge forever?”
“Tell me about it. I'm both hunted and haunted.”
“Can you get me on TV, too. My mom would love it.”
“Sure. Have your agent contact my agent. If we team up, he can get us ratings on both satellite and cable.”
Chapter 11
The bandits followed wild donkey and camel trails further into the foothills, finally reaching an abandoned prospector's shack. The stone structure provided much welcomed relief from the increasing cold of winter. Spiders and scorpions huddled for warmth in their respective corners.
A Legion drone hovering overhead sent instant images as Legion armor and Arthropodan marines approached the shack. A shot rang out as a scorpion guard sounded the alarm. The bandits first instinct was to flee, but they were quickly surrounded. Scorpions tried to burrow through the rocky ground, but to no avail. The end was at hand (claw).
“Surrender or die!” I ordered on a loudspeaker. “Throw down your weapons and come out with your claws up!”
“I'm not surrendering to spiders,” said Crazy-Sting, peering out a window at our combined human and spider troops. “They'll kill us anyway. Might as well fight it out trying to escape when it gets dark.”
“I got this,” replied Cactus-Claw, waving a white flag out the doorway. “Do you have a search warrant?”
“Don't need one!” shouted the spider commander, irritated that jailhouse lawyers are everywhere.
“That's not what it says at Legal-zoom.com,” responded Cactus-Claw, checking Galactic Database resources on his communications pad. “Do the words habius corpus mean anything to you? Back off or I'll sue!”
“We're in hot pursuit of casino robbery suspects!” I added
“The Arthropodan commander stole my money,” lamented Cactus-Claw. “Can you believe it?”
“The military industrial complex sucks money like a vacuum cleaner,” answered Crazy-Sting. “Trying to make an honest living as a criminal has been tough ever since they legalized drug dealing. We've been reduced to eating rats. Fortunately, there's been lots of rats lately. Got anything of value on you?”
“Just information. That's valuable. The human pestilence Legion is digging lots of holes in the valley.”
“That's something.”
“Enough to save our lives? Can't we all just get along?”
“Spiders and scorpions are natural enemies,” explained Crazy-Sting remorsefully. “I need more than holes in the ground.”
“I sold a ghost-in-a-jar to the Arthropodan commander,” offered Cactus-Claw, handing Crazy-Sting images from his communications pad. “The Legion will want its ghost back.”
“Are there many ghosts-in-a-jar?”
“Don't know, don't care. I got mine from Colonel Czerinski. Maybe that's why the Legion is digging holes. Maybe there's treasure in the ground. Together we can find out. If it's gold, I'll file a mining claim and split with you fifty-fifty.”
“It's not gold,” commented Crazy-Sting. “Half of nothing is still nothing, but you have a deal. File that claim. We'll be partners in dirt. All the galaxy's creatures should own dirt before they die, if for nothing else than to have a place to be buried. You don't want to live forever, do you?”
“Actually, yes.”
“Now I remember you,” exclaimed Crazy-Sting. “You were featured on America's Most Wanted. You're that spider who steals human teeth. I like your work, bro, but don't you know humans hold a grudge forever?”
“Tell me about it. I'm both hunted and haunted.”
“Can you get me on TV, too. My mom would love it.”
“Sure. Have your agent contact my agent. If we team up, he can get us ratings on both satellite and cable.”
Chapter 11
The bandits followed wild donkey and camel trails further into the foothills, finally reaching an abandoned prospector's shack. The stone structure provided much welcomed relief from the increasing cold of winter. Spiders and scorpions huddled for warmth in their respective corners.
A Legion drone hovering overhead sent instant images as Legion armor and Arthropodan marines approached the shack. A shot rang out as a scorpion guard sounded the alarm. The bandits first instinct was to flee, but they were quickly surrounded. Scorpions tried to burrow through the rocky ground, but to no avail. The end was at hand (claw).
“Surrender or die!” I ordered on a loudspeaker. “Throw down your weapons and come out with your claws up!”
“I'm not surrendering to spiders,” said Crazy-Sting, peering out a window at our combined human and spider troops. “They'll kill us anyway. Might as well fight it out trying to escape when it gets dark.”
“I got this,” replied Cactus-Claw, waving a white flag out the doorway. “Do you have a search warrant?”
“Don't need one!” shouted the spider commander, irritated that jailhouse lawyers are everywhere.
“That's not what it says at Legal-zoom.com,” responded Cactus-Claw, checking Galactic Database resources on his communications pad. “Do the words habius corpus mean anything to you? Back off or I'll sue!”
“We're in hot pursuit of casino robbery suspects!” I added
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