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say, “How could you have gone out like that when you said that we were going to do something?”
    “I have a right to my own life.” He makes a face. “Do you know how much I’ve given up for you?”
    I feel like he’s hit me.
    He gets quiet for a minute and then says, “I didn’t mean it the way it sounded. It’sjust that you have to understand…. I’m not living in New York City because I want to be closer to you. I can’t socialize when you are with me.”
    For a minute I feel guilty, and then I think about it. “I didn’t ask you to do that…and Mom never complains about taking care of me….. and I know that there are times that she and Max are not together because of me….. and they don’t think I’m so much trouble. If you feel that way, just go get an apartment in New York. Just don’t expect me to go there. And I don’t care how much you go to court….. I’ll tell them I hate you!”
    What happens next is something I don’t expect.
    My father cries.
    It’s very weird to see him cry.
    He does it quietly, but I know that he is crying.
    “Amber,” he says softly, “I’m sorry that Ihurt your feelings. I love you more than anything else in the world.”
    I just sit there, not really believing him.
    “I’m a jerk,” he says.
    That I do believe. “Yes, you are.”
    He doesn’t yell. “I’ll try to be better. Give me another chance. You are my daughter. I love you.”
    Another decision to make….. do I give him another chance….. do I tell him that I never want to see him again?
    I’m only in the fourth grade. Why do I have to make such big decisions…where to live, whether to deal with my dad.
    He says, “Next week…. please stay at the house. We’ll make up a set of rules and regulations.”
    “Not for me,” I say. “I already do what I’m supposed to.”
    “Like the time you got your ears pierced after you were told not to?” He smiles.
    Parents remember some things too well.
    I don’t give in, though. “I’m not the one who has to change this time.”
    He sighs. “Okay. You’re right.”
    I am feeling a little calmer now.
    I’m not sure that I believe him, but I would like to.
    “I promise not to be a jerk anymore,” he says. “I’ll try not to be a jerk.”
    I decide to give him one more chance.
    He may be a jerk…but he is my jerk…he is my father.

Chapter
Fifteen

    Dear Justin
,
    I, Amber Brown, have made my decisions.
    Max and Mom and Dad have all made their decisions.
    Things are now worked out….. I hope.
    Here’s what’s happening.
    We are buying the boring house in town. With all of the changes happening in my life, I am not sure that I want to give up all of the things that I’m used to…not even for a round room and a swimming pool. I will stay in my school,keep my friends (and my enemy Hannah Burton, yuck). Mrs. Holt will still be my teacher. Mr. Robinson my principal. (We had Twizzlers and soda in his office to celebrate my decision.)
    So much in my life is changing.
    I want some things to stay the same.
    As for my dad, he has decided to stay in New Jersey at the Marshalls’…and to “make some attitude adjustments.” (That’s what he said…I think he is getting some help from a counselor he has started going to for advice.) Anyway, I’m giving him another chance. He is my dad.
    My mom and Max will be getting married soon. I’m going to be bridesmaid for my mom and “best man” for Max. (Only we are going to call it “best child.”) I get to choose my outfit for that. (I, Amber Brown, will not wear a pink frilly dress.)
    When they get married and go on their honeymoon to Italy, I will be going to Disneyland with Aunt Pam and staying with her until they come back!!!!!!
    Great, huh!?!!!
    Your friend
,

    Life can be very confusing…. filled with good things and filled with bad things.
    But it’s my life….. and I have choices.

Things you should know
about Paula Danziger
    Favorite color : Purple.
    Least favorite color : Brussel