walked out with a glass bowl of salad, “dinner, monkey.”
Few things in life entertained me as much as watching my daughter eat spaghetti. With every little slurp of the noodles and a crooked grin plastered on her saucy little face, I fell a little more in love with the kid. Sage was quiet, watching us, hardly touching her food. Sometimes smiling wistfully, sometimes looking more sad. A thoughtful expression on her lovely face.
“Can I have ice cream now?” Mattie asked as she sucked the last bit of noodles in her mouth.
“You need to eat a little bit of salad first,” came the response from Sage.
“I did,” Mattie tried to argue.
“I didn’t give you very much, and you’ve barely touched it.”
I watched the battle of wills, realizing that both of them had the exact same expression. Eyes narrowed and determined. An ornery twist to their lips. Finally, Sage started to count, stating that if Mattie hadn’t eaten her salad by the time she counted to five, there would be no Oreo ice cream. Mattie picked up her fork and stuffed a leaf of lettuce in her mouth with a grimace.
“Now?” she asked after a few bites.
“A little more.”
And another little stubborn lift of a four-year-old chin and another bite of salad.
“Now?”
Sage didn’t even say anything this time, just raising her eyebrow. Mattie let loose of a heavy sigh.
“Fiiiiiine,” she growled as she finished off the last few bites.
“Okay, monkey,” Sage smiled at her. “Now.”
“Yippee!” Mattie cried as she jumped off her chair and raced towards the kitchen. “I’ll get the ice cream!”
“Dishes, Mattie,” Sage called, and Mattie stopped in her tracks and came back for her plate and silverware.
A clatter of dishes hitting the sink and a few thumps and bumps sounded from the kitchen, followed by the slam of a drawer. Mattie emerged with a carton of ice cream and a plastic purple scooper. Sage gathered up the bowls she’d set on the table earlier and scooped some for Mattie before looking at me. At my nod, she scooped up another bowl and handed it to me, then sat back down at the table to pick at her dinner.
Mattie was quiet as a mouse. The first time I’d ever heard her quiet. Or not heard her, as it were. Without Mattie talking, the room was silent, just a little clink of silverware on the dishes and Mattie’s subdued slurp of her dessert. One moment, she’d look at me, watching me closely and smiling when she caught my eye. Then she’d look at Sage, who was doing everything, it appeared, not to interact with either one of us. Then Mattie’s eyes came back to me.
“So,” Mattie finally said with a creamy mouthful of Oreo goodness, “is this what it’s like to have dinner as a family?”
Sage leapt out of her chair, grabbing her plate. “Wow,” she uttered as she headed into the kitchen. “I’m really full.”
I wasn’t sure how that was possible since she’d hardly taken a bite. I watched her leave the room and looked back over at Mattie who took another bite of her ice cream and smiled at me.
“I’m going to help your mommy clear the table, Mattie,” I said. “You want to just sit here and finish your ice cream?”
Her little blonde head nodded and she took another bite. I picked up the salad bowl and the pan of sauce, and followed Sage into the kitchen.
She stood leaning against the stove with her hand over her heart and her brows knitted tightly. As I set down the bowl and pan and walked over to her, she looked up at me.
“She likes you.” Her voice was quiet and flat, but her eyes showed overflowing emotion. “Like, she really likes you.” I took a step closer in the small kitchen, coming to stand right before her, cupping her cheek with the palm of my hand. “This is good,” she murmured, “right?”
“Yeah,” I nodded, “this is good.”
She gave a jerky nod. “I’m just… the concept of family shouldn’t be a novelty for her. She deserves so much more.” Her voice cracked a
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