that image was going to haunt me.
I couldnâtâwouldnâtâlet it come true.
***
After a long, hot shower, we went in search of Cosette. It was still early, but Iâd wake her up if I needed to. We walked from my dorm back across the quad to the admin building. Light broke through the trees, sending God-rays down on us. If I couldâve felt peaceful, I wouldâve, but I couldnât. The image of Dastienâs head rolling into the hell mouth was burned into my brain.
I blinked, trying to focus on the trees. On the ground underneath my feet. On Dastienâs hand warm in mine⦠Heâd barely let me out of his sight to shower and change, and I didnât mind that one bit. I was feeling more than a little clingy.
Stop thinking about it, his voice came through the bond.
Iâm trying, but I canât help it. Iâm really scared. I swallowed the lump in my throat. I donât want to die. And I definitely donât want you to die.
Your fear is drowning everything else out. You have to let go of it. Itâs not going to do us any good.
His determination that things would go well burned through our bond, but he hadnât seen what I had. Easier said than done.
I know. Just try.
I was trying, but manâI was shaken to the core with this. How could I not be? Everything I had was on the line. Dastien. My friendsâ lives. Even my life.
Thereâd always been risk, but it had never felt more real. Even when I was scared for myself, itâd never occurred to me to be scared for Dastien. He was such a good fighter, and heâd always been so strong. I really thought he was invincibleâ¦
But he could die. We could all die. Tonight. Tomorrow.
This could be it for us. It wasnât a huge leap to understand why I was so scared. The terror gripped me until it was like I was moving through a fog.
Now wasnât the time to be foggy.
Because giving up seemed like a totally valid option at this point.
Running sounded pretty good, too.
But if I could stop it entirelyâstop Luciana before we ended up in some decrepit church with an open portal to hellâthen that would be fantastic.
I tasted blood, and let go of my lip. I hadnât even realized I was biting it.
Cherie. Dastienâs rumble came through the bond. A note of warning lit in his voice.
I know. I was freaking out, and I needed to stop.
We headed straight up the stairs in the main building, which held the admin rooms and offices on the bottom floors. Above that was the infirmary. The guest suites were on the top floor.
They usually housed the parents of students, visiting teachers, or Cazadores. Even though plenty of alphas and Cazadores were staying on campus, they were all in the dorms.
The few witches whoâd broken from la Aquelarre had the floor to themselves.
Mr. Dawson had thought giving them their own space would be best. They mostly stuck around there or the library. The only one who didnât care about the Weres and went where she pleased was Cosette. Sheâd been spending afternoons sunning in the quad, but she wasnât an early riser. Iâd be shocked to see her anywhere before noon.
I couldnât help but smirk at the idea of waking her up as we climbed to the third floor. If I had to be awake at this hour, it was only fair that she should feel my pain.
I wasnât sure which room was hers, but I used my senses to sniff her out. Her scent wasnât like anything else Iâd come across. The best way I could describe it was sugar water in the moonlight.
Which was ridiculous, because moonlight didnât smell. But if it helped me find her, I wasnât going to question.
My nose led me to the third room on the right. Of course. That room had one of the tinier windows, but the best view over the quad.
I knocked three times.
No answer.
I knocked two more times.
No answer.
Just as I went to knock a third time, she spoke up. âYou want to
I couldnâtâwouldnâtâlet it come true.
***
After a long, hot shower, we went in search of Cosette. It was still early, but Iâd wake her up if I needed to. We walked from my dorm back across the quad to the admin building. Light broke through the trees, sending God-rays down on us. If I couldâve felt peaceful, I wouldâve, but I couldnât. The image of Dastienâs head rolling into the hell mouth was burned into my brain.
I blinked, trying to focus on the trees. On the ground underneath my feet. On Dastienâs hand warm in mine⦠Heâd barely let me out of his sight to shower and change, and I didnât mind that one bit. I was feeling more than a little clingy.
Stop thinking about it, his voice came through the bond.
Iâm trying, but I canât help it. Iâm really scared. I swallowed the lump in my throat. I donât want to die. And I definitely donât want you to die.
Your fear is drowning everything else out. You have to let go of it. Itâs not going to do us any good.
His determination that things would go well burned through our bond, but he hadnât seen what I had. Easier said than done.
I know. Just try.
I was trying, but manâI was shaken to the core with this. How could I not be? Everything I had was on the line. Dastien. My friendsâ lives. Even my life.
Thereâd always been risk, but it had never felt more real. Even when I was scared for myself, itâd never occurred to me to be scared for Dastien. He was such a good fighter, and heâd always been so strong. I really thought he was invincibleâ¦
But he could die. We could all die. Tonight. Tomorrow.
This could be it for us. It wasnât a huge leap to understand why I was so scared. The terror gripped me until it was like I was moving through a fog.
Now wasnât the time to be foggy.
Because giving up seemed like a totally valid option at this point.
Running sounded pretty good, too.
But if I could stop it entirelyâstop Luciana before we ended up in some decrepit church with an open portal to hellâthen that would be fantastic.
I tasted blood, and let go of my lip. I hadnât even realized I was biting it.
Cherie. Dastienâs rumble came through the bond. A note of warning lit in his voice.
I know. I was freaking out, and I needed to stop.
We headed straight up the stairs in the main building, which held the admin rooms and offices on the bottom floors. Above that was the infirmary. The guest suites were on the top floor.
They usually housed the parents of students, visiting teachers, or Cazadores. Even though plenty of alphas and Cazadores were staying on campus, they were all in the dorms.
The few witches whoâd broken from la Aquelarre had the floor to themselves.
Mr. Dawson had thought giving them their own space would be best. They mostly stuck around there or the library. The only one who didnât care about the Weres and went where she pleased was Cosette. Sheâd been spending afternoons sunning in the quad, but she wasnât an early riser. Iâd be shocked to see her anywhere before noon.
I couldnât help but smirk at the idea of waking her up as we climbed to the third floor. If I had to be awake at this hour, it was only fair that she should feel my pain.
I wasnât sure which room was hers, but I used my senses to sniff her out. Her scent wasnât like anything else Iâd come across. The best way I could describe it was sugar water in the moonlight.
Which was ridiculous, because moonlight didnât smell. But if it helped me find her, I wasnât going to question.
My nose led me to the third room on the right. Of course. That room had one of the tinier windows, but the best view over the quad.
I knocked three times.
No answer.
I knocked two more times.
No answer.
Just as I went to knock a third time, she spoke up. âYou want to
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