Read Online All We Want Is Everything by Andrew F. Sullivan - Free Book Online Page A

some of the severance money. After all, nobody could prove Harriet was definitely the one who dropped that lift on Debbie. Debbie didn’t have a lot of friends on the inside of that place. She liked to take naps in the bathroom and smoke in the loading bay, leaving her butts behind for security to find on the midnight shift. She had it coming, Harriet told her sisters. They asked if it was an accident. Of course it was, Harriet said.
    “Don’t worry, don’t worry, I’m just your Dad’s friend,” Harriet says. The kid looks for his basketball in the grass. He won’t look her in the eye as she steps toward him.
    “You’re Jamie, right? Don’t worry; your Dad and I are close. Where is your Mom?”
    The boy nods, but doesn’t say anything.
    “Is she at work? Is she still working at the mall?”
    “Yeah,” Jamie says. He’s still looking for his ball in the grass.
    “And she just leaves you here all day?”
    He nods again. The driveway is cracked and filled with weeds. Crabgrass and dandelions border its edges. Harriet wants to pluck them up, but she resists. Doris might notice. She seems to keep a record of everything. She probably has a photo of every single plant out here.
    “Well, isn’t there like a babysitter or someone?”
    Jamie stares up at her. He looks like a chubbier Henry.
    “Sometimes. At night, yeah. But the sun is out.”
    Harriet knows she should call Henry. Some proof of neglect, a way to get the courts to take his side against Doris. All Doris has to do is summon up his high school ghost, but now they have something substantial on their side. There is no guardian in sight. No one to watch the kid.
    “The sun is out, yeah. Your Mom says that’s alright?”
    Jamie nods again and tries to bounce the ball. It doesn’t even bother hopping away this time.
    “How about you come with me for the day? We can do whatever we want. How does that sound to you? You want to go somewhere for lunch or something?”
    Doris gets the kid and the house. Doris seems to get everything but Henry. And all Henry seems to do these days is sleep. He is slowly falling apart in front of her, no matter what the doctor says. Maybe her sisters are right. Maybe there is something wrong with him, something she just can’t see yet. Harriet grabs Jamie by the hand and they walk toward her car. She is tired of trying for a kid like Jamie. She just wants someone to hand her one already, fully formed.
    “Okay, but we have to come back soon or she will be mad.”
    Harriet knows she can handle the pain.
----
    The restaurant is one of those off-brand waffle house places that sprout up like fungus along highway exit ramps. Jamie has five Belgian waffles in front him, piled with bananas, strawberries and whipped cream. Harriet only has a coffee. Her sisters say the caffeine is going to destroy her heart eventually. The restaurant is close to empty and everything is sticky.
    “I don’t think I can eat all of this, Harriet.”
    “You can do your best, that’s all anyone can ask for, Jamie.”
    Harriet feels bad lying to the kid. Her best is rarely ever acceptable. Henry seems to tolerate her attempts at least. He was there at the hospital every time her body had turned against her, poisoning itself against the future she was trying to create. He brought her food from outside the hospital, sneaking in chocolates and real egg salad sandwiches. The hospital used powder eggs. Harriet refused to swallow any institution’s food. She didn’t trust the nurses. They all looked too much like her mother, all knowing eyes and cooing voices hiding their contempt.
    “Are you going to eat any of these?”
    “I think you can handle it,” Harriet says. The kid is well behaved. He didn’t even try to change the radio station on the way over. They talk about basketball and stepping on Lego in the dark. Jamie asks her what she did for a job and Harriet says it’s none of his business. He doesn’t seem to mind. His Mom cuts hair at the mall