Read Online All I Want For Christmas Is You by Jessica Scott - Free Book Online Page B

could claim this moment and cherish it.
    Maybe she could hold on long enough to climb out of the well.
    The snow was falling faster now, looking like the streaks of stars when the Millennium Falcon jumped to light speed. Visibility sucked and was likely to get worse. “So, want to tell me about when you got hurt?”
    “There’s not much to tell. Shrapnel in a very special place, the docs said things were probably destroyed, and wow, isn’t this a fun and entertaining conversation.”
    “Probably destroyed?”
    His knuckles whitened where he gripped the steering wheel. “I could have gone back to Germany and had surgery to try and save the boys.” He released a deep breath.
    It was not an easy conversation to have.
    It was even harder now.
    She should have let it go. She should walk away from the edge of the argument teetering just in front of them. But she couldn’t. “Why didn’t you?”
    “Because it felt wrong to try and keep my balls in good working order when other guys were losing arms and legs and eyesight.” He ground his teeth. “And I had Natalie,” he whispered. “It sounds fucked up, but I wasn’t overly worried about it. I didn’t die, the important thing still works, and it just seemed more important to stay in the fight.”
    She watched him while he spoke. Watched the tension crank higher and higher until his hands looked like they were going to break the steering wheel.
    “I thought I was okay when I made it home. But I wasn’t.” He swallowed hard. “Spent some time talking to a counselor off post,” he said cautiously.
    She looked down at her hands. “You never mentioned that.”
    “It’s a hard thing to admit that you’re not okay. Everyone pretends that everything is fine when it fucking isn’t.” He rubbed his hand over his mouth. “I got my head straight and, well, it never came up. Maybe it should have. Maybe if I’d been honest with you about what I’d gone through…” He stopped suddenly.
    “What?” A broken whisper.
    “Maybe you wouldn’t have felt so alone. Like you were the only one who’d ever had trouble coming home.” He brought their vehicle to a stop as the taillights of the tanker truck in front of him lit up. Finally, he glanced over at her. “Maybe you wouldn’t have felt like leaving was the only option.”
     
    ***
     
    The admission hurt: it was staring at the reality of his own failure. He’d tried to be strong, tried to keep from laying his own burdens on her. In doing so, he’d left her alone when she needed someone, anyone to lean on.
    He’d never thought that she’d leave him. Maybe it was his own naiveté that they’d get through the war and figure things out on the other side. He’d always respected what she stood for, what she needed. He’d never pressured her to get married. He knew how important it was to her to keep her name, to feel like she could do things on her own. She was stubborn like that.
    She’d been burned badly by Natalie’s biological father. He remembered the first time he met her. He’d been at BookPeople in Austin, one of his favorite haunts when he wasn’t working.
    He’d seen her standing in the politics section. She’d looked adorable in a pale blue and white sundress. It had taken him a minute to recognize her from work. A lot of military women looked completely different out of uniform, and Sam was no different. Her hair had been down, spilling down her back and brushing over her shoulders.
    Then she’d glanced toward him, and he’d seen the tears streaming down her face.
    Before he’d seen those tears, he’d been on the fence about approaching. About saying hi. But those tears had punched him in the gut. She was always so strong at work. So confident.
    In that moment, he’d made a decision that had changed the course of both their lives.
    He’d approached cautiously. “Whoever it is, I’m sure it’s nothing a good kick in the balls can’t solve.”
    She’d been embarrassed. She’d tried to